how long does it take to get over a marriage ive been seperated for 8 weeks now?

Question

my husband and i where together for 3 years and we drifted apart we where so close and romantic and then we grew apart he got verbally abusive plus had a huge temper so we decided to seperate i put a pfa which is protection from abuse order and he cant talk to me but i do think of him everyday and i think is he ok it still hurts but its getting better i would like to talk to him just once though to see how he is please any input would be nice ty tc jewels

Answer 1

Dont fall for the "i just want to call him once" deal, because if you call him once, you'll want to call him twice, 3 times, and before you know it your right back where you started. There is a reason (abuse) that you seperated, remember that reason when you feel the urge to call. As far as how long it takes to get over somemone completely, For me, i live by the 1/2 rule. however long you've been together (in your case 3 years) cut in half (a year and a 1/2) thats how long it takes to be completely over someone.

Some tips to help stay away> Write a list of everything you couldnt stand about him, annoying habits, times he hurt you, things you know will never change, Then make a list of all the things you can do for yourself now that you dont have someone elses feelings to worry about, like going out to a bar with gf's or going on one of those wacky speed dating things, do all the things that he didnt like, or said you couldnt do, and keep doing that till you are able to get to a point where you can go a day or 2 without thinking of him.

hope it helps

Answer 2

It sounds to me you may not have been ready for a drastic change as in divorce. If the problem was just a temper and communication problem then maybe you just needed some counseling. If not no one knows how long it will take to get over a marriage. It just depends on you. I have been married for over 7 years now and the hardest times were the first 3 years. I contemplated on getting a divorce many times. I even left to my mom's house when I was 9 mos. pregnant but end up back with my husband shortly after the baby was born. Don't let any one tell you how long you should mourn or how much you shouldn't miss him. Only you know how you feel and how much you can take. Think positive and I'm sure you'll find the right direction to go. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Either he is abusive and you need protection from him or he is nice and you need to talk to him. You cannot have it both ways. If you filed a false pfa against him, you committed a crime, legally and morally. If he is truly dangerous to you, you made the correct choice and you should never talk to him again.

Abuse escalates. Abusers, when punished, can act contrite and regretful and will be on their best behavior for about three weeks. After that, the abuse will start again and it will get worse each time. Don't make the mistake of taking this man back into your life. Move on and find someone who will love you and value you, not try to control you.

Answer 4

Its only natural to wonder how he is doing because you still care. But if he was abusive toward you just be glad you are out. Please don;t look back. I think we as women tend to remember the good times. I think maybe if we gave them one more chance every thing could get worked out. You just need to give yourself some time. No one can say exactly how long it will take. But trust me I have been through this before. It will get better. I don;t think right now you are ready to date. Its to soon. The reason why is because you are still thinking of your husband. Just wait a while, you will know in your heart when you are ready. Just think about it. Do you really want to start something up with someone else at this point while you are still thinking about your soon to be ex. I don't think that's a good idea.

Answer 5

a million. do no longer do something stupid. Lay of the booze and eliminate the gun. it quite is going to shop you out of hardship. 2. God does not continuously answer prayers as we talk. wait and see. shop praying popular and do the terrific you could with what you have have been given. 3. discover something to concentration on different than Iraq or your marraige. it is your pastime or a interest. 4. provide her the area she needs. Take the summer off from the relationship and don't call her until eventually hard artwork Day. If she calls you earlier - super. If no longer, you could strengthen as a guy interior the interim. 5. study to be emotionally self reliant. do no longer "choose" a woman to convey you happiness or self esteem. Be your individual guy and your spouse will like and comprehend you greater. 6. Get help. it quite is a counselor, a minister or a fellow vet who has been with the aid of comparable themes.

Answer 6

getting over something like this has no specific time line, it depends on the person. If you want to talk to him, do it, but only when you can do so without getting too emotional. Maybe it would be a good idea to write him a letter first, not necessarily to give it to him, but to get everything out and see how you feel about it. Also consider a mediator if you think it might help.

Answer 7

Usually 8-1/2 weeks.

Answer 8

It all depends on you. Personally I won't see anybody until the divorce is final (cause technically you are still married in the eyes of god and by law). To me if a person does that it means that they first of all respect themselves and really respected and valued their marriage even if there was problems. And also if you wait till the divorce that will give you time to reflect on what really went wrong and how you can improve and also what to look for in another person or relationship.

Answer 9

i am sure you know that anything can be healed with time but if you are asking specifically everyone is different and i believe it also depends on the damage that was done to you mentally like for instance did he cheat on you? because that can really take a tole on a person emotionally and it is something that is not easy to get over but you will :) just keep yourself really busy and get out of the house more dont sit around sulking about it :) good luck

Answer 10

The thing is, you have to grieve a relationship when it dies. And you must go through the stages of death for that to happen.
1. Denial-
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Take some time, learn about yourself and then go forward.
Good luck to you I know this is a hard time.