I am nearly 40 and I dont know what it means to be or feel "sexy". Any thoughts?

Question

I used to know what I *thought* "sexy" meant when I was in my teens and 20s: being pretty or beautiful; dressing in sexy clothes; being desired by men.

But in my late 20s I got married, and all that angst about whether I was sexy or not disappeared. I was comfortable for the first time. I also got on my career track and have spent the last 20 years doing that. I decided long ago not to have children, and am content with my husband, as well as his, my and our friends, plus our cats.

I have always been overweight, but I have never been inhibited or sexually dysfunctional, so that is not a problem. I just think of myself in deeper, more complex terms, and always have. I am a Renaissance woman. I am well-educated, well-read, well-spoken, a respected professional in my field, and I am an avid hobbyist.

How do other women who are in their 30s, 40s and older think of themselves? Is being sexy important or not? Or do you have other thoughts? Thanks and cheers, K

Answer 1

I'm 52, and likewise overweight. That being said, I do definitely think of myself as sexy. It's not the ONLY part of my make-up or personality, by any means, but it's a part that I wouldn't to lose. I value my sexuality just as I value my ability to program a computer, or sew a dress, or raise a garden, or play the piano, or work my ham radio. They're all part of me, and they're all important to me.

I think that you have to decide how important feeling "sexy" is to you. I don't think that being sexy precludes you from being smart, or talented, or complex - it's just one part of the complex person that is you.

I don't think being a certain weight makes you "un-sexy" any more than being thin automatically makes you sexy. That's a lot more about the way you behave, and carry yourself, and a dozen other factors, than about what numbers pop up on the bathroom scale!

It really IS better, the older you get!!! :-)

Answer 2

wow, yes. I feel sexier than ever. I will be 40 on the 22nd of this month and I have never felt better. Jay-Z, the rapper, has a song out called 30 something. the song pretty much says that 30 is the new 20. Well, i guess that means 40 is the new 30 and "Im so HOT still. (more lyrics from the song)".

I was a young mother, raising a son then a nephew. I had another kid in the my late 20s, while managing my career, education and raising good kids.

My eldest is now 21, my youngest 11. I am ready to conquer the world!

I am planning a bbq next weekend and my theme is "40 and STILL Fabulous".

I have picked up some weight over the years, but in the past 3 months I have committed to working out, eating healthy and living life to the fullest.

So far, I have lost 10 lbs and again, I feel SEXIER than ever.

Answer 3

You should feel sexy in just the way that your husband / partner looks at you, the way that the two of you act together in public should make you feel sexy,.... not saying that you dont have a great relationship with your significant other but the things the two of you do together should make you feel sexy. for me that could be anything from going out together for dinner or whatever to lyin around the house and doing nothing at all. EVERY woman is sexy i dont care what the apperance. (not saying that as a womenizer) also the sexlife you have might have an impact on the way you feel about this topic as well. for me if it isnt as good or better than the last time my partner and i had sex,... well then i am not doing my job, making my partner feel that she is the most sexy woman on the planet...

Answer 4

i am in my early 30s. tad bit overweight as well. To me sexy is an attitude. Whatever makes a man turn his head and smile at me. It could be the way you laught, it could be your mind, what you are wearing. whatever. Sexy is different for each and everyone of us. I feel the most sexy wearing my favorite pair of jeans. I know, not the glamorous or anything, but they make me feel like a million bucks.

Answer 5

For you, what you have explained about yourself, I think you have already defined what sexy is to you. To me, sexiness is confidence...being comfortable with one's self. If you look in the mirror and like what you see...you don't think that your face, your body, your persona would be sexier any other way, than I think you have defined what sexy is. For me, when I was in my 20's, I had the aggressive stance most 20 somethings have who are learning what their physique does to a man...but as I've aged (I'm 36 now), I'm even happier in my skin. Each generation to me represents a different degree of sexiness (to me). The 20's, I've already stated. The 30's, it's getting to be where we are starting to define our lives more...making a name and career for ourselves. Perhaps building a family. The 40's represent a sophisticated elegance. A woman who is in her 40's, has her life together. Is healthy, confident, etc., she radiates beauty.. I look forward to my 40's. I think that sexiness evolves and age, wisdom, life experience and supreme confidence makes defines it and makes us glow.

Answer 6

Last night was a fire, she lit onto me.
So sexy and loving, her body can be.
When she's lying there naked, she drives me insane.
I want her every way possible; it’s hard to refrain.
I do things with her, I never could share.
I love her so much, my soul I could bare.
She so hot, flirtatious and a little bit naughty.
Her breast, her legs, oh what a body.
She makes me tremble, with her erotic allure.
She's always on my mind, for that there’s no cure.
Her sexual airs, that get so much attention.
The walk, the smile, she’s mine should I mention.
She’s a provocative woman, she knows her needs.
She likes her sex, and sews her seeds.
She’s one of a kind, a fantasy come true.
I’m a lucky man, with a wonderful view.

Answer 7

i am not that age but i will give you my opinions on this...i have always been overweight and i have been married for 3 years and have a 2 year old daughter and i feel that i can't be sexy...i think i am ugly and fat and i just can't be....since i got married i feel sexy...and i don't do anything different my husband loves me and he is always telling me that i am beautiful or sexy and it makes me feel sexy.....if we go out i put on a nice outfit and makeup and fix my hair and i feel like a million dollars and it doesn't matter what others think as long as you believe in yourself! good luck and i hope my time has made you happy :)

Answer 8

yet another < Romans 12:5 >> The Christian physique of believers New worldwide version so in Christ we who're "many" variety "one" physique, and each member belongs to all the others It potential in team spirit, settlement, right here, they have been united and weren't merchandising themselves in any way, yet merchandising Christ the begotten son and to Jehovah God himself so others may be saved definite, it is honest to declare that Jesus Christ and his Father have been and are: "oneness of suggestions, feeling" in accordance to all definition. no longer meaning they have been a similar guy or woman from now on than oneness is an identical guy or woman is used in the scriptures you stated or others. in basic terms an settlement of suggestions, a bond a sturdy question on the tip of placed up-Why is a mediator mandatory in the event that they are One and a similar?

Answer 9

Well I am 17 but I will try and answer this sexy is an attitude and it has to be in your environment try dressing up you house with sexy scented candle or give you living room and accent wall or maybe some throw pillows.

*P.S. I know I am barely old enough to drive so you dont have to take and account of wat I say just a thought*

Answer 10

All the things that you described, being intelligent and having your own interests, make you sexy. It's not about looks or what other people think. It is about how you feel about yourself, and I can tell that you have confidence! That's sexy!!