I had my IUD taken out in Feb. at the time we were not planning on having another child. We have an 11yo son & a 9yo daughter. a couple of weeks after having the IUD removed I feel and broke my ankle resulting in a surgry. I was wating for my next cycle to get anothe IUD when this happend. Last month we decided that we would like to have another baby and started ttc. I spoke with my husband yesterday and told that i was due to start on the 5/14 and i was pretty sure that i would becuse I was having normal pms (headache, cramps, sleepy and sore breast). That is when he said that he had changed his mind. He said that he felt that we were to old at 32 (what!). And that due to a birth defect that would be a possibility ~congenital cataracts (not a big deal ) that he was not willing to go through that again. Ours son had them, had cataract surgery at 3mo, and implants last summer and does not even have to wear glasses. Our lg did not have them. How can i get him to change mind?
2007-05-11 05:27:21 · 8 answers · asked by angie b 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
3 kids was allways the plan. We waited because we wanted to be financialy ready for 3.
2007-05-11 05:29:12 · update #1
You can't make him change his mind. You should respect his opinion, even if it does break your heart. Its not fair that he said yes, and then no. However if he isn't ready for a 3rd child, then that is his right too.
I would be crushed if my hubby did this, but I don't think there is anything you can do.
2007-05-11 05:31:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you can, or should really want to change his mind. Think about it, if you did get him to change his mind, he might become resentful later. I think you both need to sit down and talk about the real reason he has decided to suddenly to not have another child. From what I am getting, it's not the possible defects because he was aware of this last month, but still wanted another one. Perhaps he's just scared or hesitant because of how only you guys will be when this 3rd one is able to leave the roost. Who knows. Just talk to him and encourage him to be completely honest. After that, perhaps you can come to a decision. If not, there's always the possibility of adopting. Then that takes away the birth defect card.
2007-05-11 05:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by Amber S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your husband had to help you out and care for you while you're ankle was broken. I hope you let him know how much you apprecited him. He probably realized from that experience that he didn't want to go through the taking care of another person again. Babies are hard work. I think he just got scared off. He is likely feeling overwhelmed by having so many people to take care of (with your help of course) I would sit him down, cut out the crap and the excuses, and talk soley about feelings. Don't let him give you excuses, make sure he tells you exactly how he FEELS. Then go from there. I'll pray for you both.
2007-05-11 05:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by Raja_Nala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is just afraid of having to start back over. My husband did not have his first until he was 34 (I was 21) and it was really stressful for him because he had gone so long without ever having a newborn. Maybe your husband is just stressing about going through it all over again and worrying that he won't be as good this time around. Be sensitive to him, but remember that this is a decision for both of you to make.
2007-05-11 05:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't push him. Talk to him, maybe in couples therapy, about how this has made you feel. Starting over with a new baby is a life chaging decision, its not surprising he's having 2nd thoughts. At least he changed his mind before you got pg, or it could be a real problem.
2007-05-11 05:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by parental unit 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-15 09:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy with what you have. Don't force him to be a father to a child he does not want to have. He will resent you and the child. It would be nice if he wanted another like you do, but the fact is he doesn't. Let it go and enjoy the family you already have.
2007-05-11 06:11:05 · answer #7 · answered by ladywildfireok 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him how you feel, and that you understand his feelings but you would really like to keep trying. I hope all works out for you
2007-05-11 05:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by melissaw77 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋