Women: Would you rather he told you he cheated 2 years ago, or rather he didn't tell you at all?

Question

Believe it or not, ladies, this is a hypothetical question - I'm not in any relationship and I didn't cheat when I was. I'm just curious to know how women feel about this...

Answer 1

Of course I would want to be told! Until there are no secrets between the two of you how can you heal and move forward. Trust and honesty are everything in a great relationship!

Answer 2

I would like to say I'd want to know, because I know I'd have already had to say something (WAY before 2 years) about the whole situation if it was me, however I am not so sure I'd want to know.

Why do you want to tell her now?
Does she suspect something?
How will you feel after you tell her?

Obviously I'm assuming you've been together for the last 2(+) years, but I honestly think it depends. Are you telling her for selfish reasons? I know that most relationships go through hard times, were you 2 on the rocks? It may be easier for her to deal with if it is in that context. However if you do tell her, are you ready to accept that there is a good chance that it will mean your relationship is over. I know I'd be angry it took you so long. If you feel that your relationship has matured in the last two years, it may be something that you can, together, talk about, come to an understanding. However I wouldn't have very high expectations when/if you tell her.

Answer 3

Two years ago does not matter- only if he has no current intentions of cheating and does not have any diseases from previous sexual infidelities or ongoing contact with the person or person whom he cheated with. However, I would rather know than not to know since there would still, clearly, be a possibility of him having an HIV infection from past cheating and it would be good to be aware that he was once a cheater and therefore, not ignorant about the consequences of cheating. Honesty is a better policy in relationships between men and women.

Answer 4

i would say there is two ways to go on this, if it was me i would want to know, and want to know how far it went and if you still see this lady, but at the same time i would wonder why you waited so long to tell me. and i would not want to know because it would case alot of pain for something that has no point to breaking up wit now. ive just got to tell you this no secret stays a secret forever. so if you really have a relationship be honest with her. if she finds out from some one else on the wedding day or such you will have alot of problems. so i say tell her. and explain it only happened once and such. be ready to answer questions like why did you do it, am i not enough for you? do you even love me? and such, she will be mad and maybe ignor you if this happenes give her a day or two and then talk to her about it, make sure when you tell her you tell her face to face as well. good luck

Answer 5

From personal experience, unless you are absolutely sure that you covered your tracks and she would never find out......don't tell her. Trust isn't something easily repaired and the constant wondering, how, when wanting the details will only push you further apart. If she doesn't know it and you are committed, in-love and want to be with her then keep it a secret. If you have the urge to cheat again, then seek counseling or leave the relationship and at that time you can tell her.

Answer 6

I don't think I would like either one of them. I don't like dishonesty and cheating is a form of lying. Not telling is lying too. I just want a guy to tell the truth. But if I found out that he cheated and didn't tell me for two years I'd leave. Stop cheating!

Answer 7

You need to honest in a relationship, however somethings are left better alone. Just make sure that you never cheat again. If you want to cheat then you need to evaluate the relationship.

Answer 8

I'd rather hear it from him then from somebody else and I would hope it would come along with a sort of explanation as to what has changed and what he is changing in order to remain faithful. After cheating once, its easier for it to happen again. Oh and I wouldn't want details.

Answer 9

You really should tell, it is best to be heard from you rather then someone else,

Of course she may he angry at first and may need her space but you must make it clear that you are sorry for what happened and felt guilty and that she is the only person you could love, that is why you told her. But eventually it will cool down and she will be thankful for your honestly, and that she knows you have changed your ways (if you really have)

Answer 10

I owuld rather him tell me because that lets me know that he is trustworthy.And even if he dont tell me i will find out from someone else and i would prefer for him to just tell me straight up.Dont be a liar or a cheater.Thats the two things a woman never wants to find in a man,i promise.