...and found a guy worthy of her company - he's got money, homes, cars - great (boring) job - pays well though, and she shows herself bright and cheery around him - but at home she is anything but that according to my son - and she is THE exact opposite with me i.e. vicious, disrespectful, revengeful, vindictive, abusive, neglecting, forgetful, I don't give a shi^" attitude, uncaring, the world revolves around her (VERY narcisstic) - with all the thinigs to look forward to with her new guy, WHY is she acting so unhappy and trying make me her whipping pole and being abusive to our son? Has she not let go, moved on yet even though she has someone else? I woud think with all she has going for her, she would be happy and act happy. There was no domestic violence, no cheating (on my part) I have loved her beyond the mistreatment I was subjected to for years, there was no abuse (on my part - really and I am a guy - sorry ladies). So why, as she purports to care so much for our son,
2007-05-11 05:02:53 · 6 answers · asked by RealEYES 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
would she attack our son's father (me) to the degree taht it is every week on going for over a year now? Oh, and I pay child support also. This is not caring and loving - so women out there, givwe me the truth and why is she still hanging on?, Vindictive? Revengeful? or what ever you think she is doing when she has so much other going on apart from me in her life. Who would want the hastle....
2007-05-11 05:04:46 · update #1
She just can't let it go, who knows why, she's vindictive, spiteful, immature, take your pick...and you need to take steps, legally to see that you still have a relationship and time spent with your son, because apparently she doesn't care.
2007-05-11 05:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, Venting in public (as in this forum) only makes you sound precisely like how she describes you. So don't perpetuate the lie. If you must vent, do it in your therapist's office.
The only thing you can do is to prove her wrong by being the best dad - long distance, part time whatever, you possibly can be. If you live close, be there for school events, little league games, parent teacher conferences etc. If you live far away, write letters - paper ones - a lot. Send photos, etc.
Above all, pay your child support on time. It should be the second bill you pay - after your mortgage/rent. Keep receipts. While you cannot dictate HOW she spends the child support, you can at least prove that you paid it on time. This is important should you challenge for custody.
When he visits, Do NOT badmouth Mom at ANY time. When son asks you about things, just say, "Well, Mom and I have different needs. But that doesn't diminish my love for you. Truly Son, I may not have the money and big house etc. but I have an awful lot of love for you. One day you may see that the size of the love is more important than the size of the wallet." If he persists, tell him flatly that you don't want to say anything mean about his Mom because that's not the man you want to be seen as.
IF Son tries to pit you and Mom against each other - as kids often will - pointedly tell him that that's not nice behavior and that you don't want to play that game.
Son will understand this - eventually.
Now as to abuse. Can you document this? Is there any physical proof that he's being abused - such as marks on his person, clothes that don't fit etc. going without meals, etc.? Are there drugs involved? Talk with his teacher/principal pastor and any other adult Son has regular contact with that you suspect Son is not being cared for and to keep an eye out for suspicious behaviors etc.
Speak with your lawyer about this. If there are grounds for a custody battle, you'd better have some concrete tangible physical evidence to back it up. Judges don't like to be shown they're human so be really certain that Jr. is being abused - not because his nintendo got taken away - but real abuse.
Make sure Son understands that custody battles are no joke. It's a "for real" situation. No one wins and everyone loses. So take this seriously.
Remember, each state has its own custody laws. Speak with your attorney about it.
2007-05-11 05:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your silly.. And i read between the entire lines. First off you must have under no circumstances gotten married when you weren't competent. You simply can't play with folks emotions that manner. It sounds to me that you left her because you were coping with any person as opposed to her. And i am assuming the grass was now not greener on the opposite aspect considering the fact that there is not any method your telling the whole story. You left her when you consider that she wasn't giving you sex in three weeks this means that you went else where to get and she discovered and left you. If that is authentic you then deserve each aching feeling you think. And she is typically not relationship on the grounds that she afraid to fall for a further idiot. Fall again.. Let the trouble play it self out, if its meant to be and she or he forgive you then it's going to be.. I say stop dating for awhile and verify your ego purpose it already obtained you in a canine house.
2016-08-11 11:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to court for custody. Have a record in hand of all her behaviors. Recordings help. But, have solid hard proof. Just writing down what you feel isn't worth the judge's time. Also, your son may be old enough to decide on his own who he wants to live with.
It's a terribel decision for him to make, mother or father, but may be necessary for his safety/sanity. Can you offer him a stable environment? The judge will not just look at money. Talk to your son, talk to a lawyer. Don't be the whipping post. Draw a line and stick to it.
2007-05-11 05:17:14 · answer #4 · answered by emberstoashes_04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she could have a little regret on not working on the marriage more but if thats the case she has realized that she made her bed and has to sleep in it. The bitterness might be her seeing you doing well and moving on....kill them with kindness . Hang in there you sound like your taking the higher ground and moving on. Try not to look back to much it just brings back pain look forward and start planning your new future and your next love will happen when your not looking.
2007-05-11 05:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by tyler d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs counseling because it's obvious she's not happy with her life or herself. I would also suggest taking your son from her before she ruins his outlook on life.
You deserve someone that will appreciate you and I wish you the best of luck. You sound like a nice guy.
2007-05-11 05:15:41 · answer #6 · answered by Luv2RIDE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋