Saying I LOVE YOU when I dont mean it?

Question

My husband tells me he loves me all the time and he expects me to answer with the same...I dont love him and he knows it. Im not being mean but he caused trouble in this relationship which has rendered my feelings null and void towards him, I say it but we both know I dont mean it...should I keep saying it back just to humor him?

Answer 1

Well, you don't have to say it if you not in love with him.

Answer 2

ITS HARD!! I know it´s an awful feeling. However, the true mountain is when you forgive him. At first it´ll seem like there´s no point to do this. Like exercising, the rush is fealt after the sweat and pain. Plus there´s a little formula. If you want to use it literally, it goes like this (fill in the blanks) "When you do this, (say at this point what he does that bothers), I feel like this (self explanatory), because of this (valid reasons) and I would prefer this (a good solution that is not just breaking off everything, even if the "disgust" pushes to do exactly that)" One great thing. I, here in Valencia Venezuela have heard how parents who didn´t know what to do with their incontrolable children where touched by a priest and things have turned around with a flood of something wonderfull from Christ. I have seen solutions that I could never imagine. I will pray for you, some true wonders may come up out of this situation.

Answer 3

Michel, I have heard this line many times as a teenager and always for the purpose of at least getting to second and hopefully third base. Their hormones are speaking and not their true thoughts. At the moment, the desire is strong and the "I love you" comes out. Just because they know they never will, they still don't give up. They just never give up trying. That is the sad truth of it. There may be a chance that they really do love you, though, so you have to consider that as well. Best of love and happiness to you.

Answer 4

I think you should take a look at your whole relationship. When a partner hurts you badly it's normal to shut down your emotions regarding them. it's self preservation.
So, you need to ask yourself, whether you want to save this relationship or not. If you do, then you have to move on from dwelling on the past, move forward and forgive him.
He's asking a lot from you, forgiveness and reassurance of it by saying you love him. It can be tough. Do you think what you had is worth fighting to regain? Can you do it?
If not, time to end it.
If you can, you have to open yourself back up, and start allowing yourself to feel again. that can be scary, but it's the only way to regain your happy relationship.
Decide what you really want, and make it happen.
If you tell him you love him, mean it.

Good luck.....

Answer 5

Hey, that's just what's going on in my life right now. I use to mean it but then things just started feeling weird in our relationship like if he was doing things behind my back so we would always argue and now he acts as if we are happily married or something and he tells me he loves me and I say ya I love you too, He and I know that's not really how I feel because he even says that I don't say it like I mean it. But even though I don't feel the same about him I'll still lie and say I'll love him just to shut him up.

Answer 6

Oh sure - that's a great idea.

While you're at it, keep having unwanted sex with him and faking your orgasms, holding his hand when you don't want to, and telling him 'yeah when we're not together I think about you, too." All as you roll your eyes at him.

That way, you will never have to deal right now with the real issues surrounding the relationship, and 10 or 15 years from now you can completely snap, taking him by surprise and causing all the built-up pain and suffering that seem to be in your plan.

Is that about what you were hoping to hear?

Answer 7

Wow! I am not alone!! My parents had this EXACT same problem... well I dont know what your hubby did BUT! My dad cheated on my mom, it made her lose trust in him and she stopped loving him..... he said I Love You all the time and she just ignored him (she stayed with him bc of little brother and me) It made her miserbale until finally she had to get out. If you dont love him and find it hard to trust him either talk it out, go get help or just get a divorce... it will be better for both of you! Good Luck! and Dont ever let anyone make you say that, its a precious phrase!

Answer 8

Love is such a powerful thing.Why would you stay in a relationship thats not built on love. You deserve to be happy.Dont try and humor him.I would get out of the relationship now and find your true love.Its a wonderful feeling.Good luck

Answer 9

no u shouldnt keep saying one day he might think u minght mean it and then he will think u were leading him on either get a divorce or lean to like him u shouldnt have married him if u dont love him marriage is a bond between to people and they both shanre the love and if 1 person dont love then its not real marriage and its not a real relationship

Answer 10

I know where your coming from because I'm in the same situation only I don't tell him back that I love him because he has done too many things to hurt me. So when he tells me he Loves me I don't say it back. I think he's finally got the hint.

Answer 11

You need to work on the forgiveness thing......remember that it takes two people to make or break a marriage not just one.

I cause trouble in my marriage, my husband causes trouble in his marriage - that means that we both cause problems in our marriage.....100% from both - it's called working hard at the Love Factor.....