My bf and i have a 10years between us my parents are against us... what should i do? i really love him.?

Question

Im 22and he is 32.. he is a great guy. any advice for me

My bf has tried to spend time with my family but they just so rude and no one even greets him... Dad just says he isnt the rite guy for me, he is too old!i can do better

Answer 1

well,normally I would say do what you want and I still may,but I also know that sometimes ,most times parents,who have lived longer than their child usually have more experience and see things that eyes blinded by love fail to see. I would say just take it a little slower and give your parents advice some ear as I imagine they love you.When you were a child you cherished and believed every word your parents said to you and you were grateful for their love, so don't think anything has changed,except they thought you to have a mind of your own.The key here is they taught you,so give them some ear.

Answer 2

Dear Baby,

There is more info needed here. What does this 32 year old do with his time after work? Does he have his own home? Does he drive a nice car? Is he employed in a job with a future? And the million dollar question: WHY does he want to see a 22 year old girl?

As you grow and learn, you will notice that MOST (not ALL, but MOST) relationships in which one person is a lot older than the other, there is a problem for the older person in their relationships with people of their own age. They usually want to be IN CHARGE. So, they pick someone a good deal younger whom they can control easily.

Needless to say, these are not healthy relationships and the younger one catches on eventually, but usually not soon enough to spare themselves a lot of heartache and problems.

In all relationships, it is up to you to go into it with your eyes wide open and look at both the pros and the cons. It is not disloyal to ask yourself, "What does he see in me?" You should do that. Happiness in a relationship is not an accident. The best happiness is reached when two people plan and work together. If one of the partners wants to run everything, you don't have a healthy relationship.

Your parents love you and don't want to see you used or hurt. They would not steer you wrong and are doing their best to let you know that you are making a mistake. Perhaps, you should listen. They have nothing to gain by making you unhappy.

Hugs & Keep Your Eyes Open!!

Answer 3

Ah, may december relationships.

The difference between 22 and 32 is considerably more than 32 and 42. That's because at 22, you're barely out of college, probably haven't truly lived on your own, traveled abroad, worked for a long time, paid bills, had children etc. BF, at 32 - has done all these things. He may even have children by someone else (a hornets nest all to its own - but we'll table that for now).

Your parents may feel that you're limiting your potential (like graduate school and mobility) if you settle down right now. As a parent I have encouraged my son (also 22) to really explore his opportunities before he settles down.

That doesn't mean that BF is "Wrong" for you - but really - look at the opportunities you may be pushing aside and weigh those costs against marriage - to anyone - right now.

Trust me. There's 25 years difference between my boyfriend and me (I'm 50 and he's 75.) And indeed, this is something we talked about at length - at great length in fact - when we first got together. BUT, since both our sets of children are grown and we're established in our careers, we felt that the age difference wasn't quite as big a deal - now. But if I had been 25 and he 50 - there would have been some serious issues.

Again, darling, you're awfully young yet to settle down - with anyone.

Answer 4

A parents job is to guide their children when growing up.When you become an adult, you use that guidance to choose the best decision for "your life". How long have you dated this person would be my only question.
If you really love him, go for it!! When I met my hubby 10yrs ago, we were from different cultures and part of town. People around me then said: "he's not good for you" , "why are you wasting your time with him". I am white and he is black, so there were many issues, not for me, but for my peers. But it was my life and I was the only one who really knew if he was right for me, and it turns out he was and is. We have been married for 7yrs now, I couldn't have found a more respectfull, loving, understanding partner to spend my life with.
I know you love your parents, as I did my peers and some parts of my family who were questioning our relationship at first, but you are an adult and if you love this man and have faith in your heart that the two of you can make a fullfilling future together--GO FOR IT! If for some reason it doesn't work, your family will still be there to guide you through it. Wish you all the luck. You know, that deep gut feeling people get all the time about something?, well if in your gut you know he is good for you, don't ignore it, You may miss out on the love of your life!!
Lisa

Answer 5

I've been in this situation, having parents totally against the person I was seeing. My parents and his. I was right around your age too. It was brutal. I did everything in my power to try and make things better, even putting myself in some really awful situations where his mother was literally berating me to my face and I sat there and had to take it out of respect to him and because she was after all his mother. I had to endure my parents telling me to stop seeing this person - or get out of the house. It got so bad he had me half convinced we should just move away. In the end, his family made it so difficult that I just gave up, which was sad because I really did love him.....but, I could not see spending the rest of my life being miserable, two families ripped apart.

My advice to you is to try your best to get your family to see how much you love this guy and not let things get worse. Most of the time your family just wants what is best for you, try and show them all the positive things about your relationship. Most normal families want their kids to be happy...period. If your family doesn't come around, this will be a source of contention and stress between the two of you always and it can literally poison a relationship - no matter how much you love the person.

Good luck, I hope it doesn't come down to having to choose, no one wins when that happens

Answer 6

Age shouldn't matter however think of this from your parents point of view you are only 22 I know my advice to my children is see the world before you settle down! Did you just break this news to them, let him meet them, have dinner, ease them into this new relationship Makes sure it's what you want! But i would say that if you were 10,25,35,45,50 you get the point!

Answer 7

me and my gf are 10yrs apart im 32 shes 22 but we got together when she was 18 her parents hated me with a pastion she told them to at least get to know him after about 6 month these people love me thats all her fam. talks about is how awsome i am and my great job i have bla bla tell your fam. to give him a chance and if he is a good guy they will see it and then you will be asking how you can get them to stop talking about him

Answer 8

In love marriages, normally girls tend to be older. The gap will show up later in life but if u r comfortable go ahead.

Answer 9

Does he knows your parents, does he spend some time with them? Mine does and they love him, he is just being himself but he enjoys to have "family lunch" that way my parents are able to see how well we get along.

Answer 10

i fhe is a really great guy like you say then age shoulnt matter at all , you have to sit your parents down and tell them that you are really happy with him and they need to just try and except it , because the bottom line is your happiness.