...If you met some one when you were 19 and they were 32. You had so much in common. brilliant fun, fantastic sex you loved every minute of being together.... Then you split up! The older person says its because they want to settle down start a family etc etc. And they understand that you are young and need to experience more in your life before you can make that choice. You go your separate ways. occasionally seeing each other from a far. Then one day 10+ years later you some how get in contact with each other. You are both now married and have children (ironically the same age). The sparks are still there, you are both unhappy in your marriages. the conversations between you are intense and loving.... What do you do next?
Personally I think run, run as fast as you can, as far as you can. Is it fair that I give this advice or should I say follow your heart?
2007-05-11 01:39:11 · 16 answers · asked by Psycho Chicken! 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im going to add I know one of the people very well and the other a little. Neither want to hurt their partners. But both couples are together for their children. Both (married) relationships work well in the respect they get on as friends. The man in this equations wife does get very jealous and insecure , The womans husband doesnt really pay her any attention.I think My friend is kidding herself. But my heart does go out to them.
2007-05-11 01:55:16 · update #1
I feel quite cruel in saying this but, I think a relationship born from an affair will always have the cloak of distrust hanging over it. I personally feel if they left a relationship to be with you then the chances are they will cheat on you and do the same thing.
2007-05-11 03:45:29 · update #2
If they weren't married, then I'd say go for it. But both people are married? No, they shouldn't act on it! If they are unhappy with their marriages, then they should either seek marriage counseling or start the process of divorce. Too many people are able to be hurt in that situation (kids included!).
2007-05-11 01:45:51 · answer #1 · answered by brandylov1 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is saying "Follow your heart" and that is all fine and dandy. However, people need to have more respect for themselves and for the others in their life that I'm sure that one way or another they care about. If they are going to pursue "ANYTHING" their other relationships need to end before they act. Simply put, many times people enjoy the idea of something new and pursue it only to come back and say that they are going to stay with their spouse due to this and this. (Whatever reasons they have)
This is one of the major problems we have in the US is lack of respect for marriage and others. If their relationships are over, then they are over...act accordingly. Then pursue the idea and possibilities, however to do anything else before hand is disrespectful to themselves and their families. I understand things within their marriage aren't anywhere close to ideal, but they will soon be going through a major hardship of divorce if they act upon things and they are found out. And that situation will hurt not only their spouse, kids and possible the current renewed relationship.
Not severing a relationship and starting another one is only means for trouble. If they want this to even possibly work out they need to cut their ties so there is a possibly of commitment, growth and the full ability of renewing a relationship. Anything done before those criteria are met is going to bring hardships on everyone in the situation; those indirectly effected and might do irreparable harm to the relationship they hope to form. I know this sounds callous and harsh, but it is a simple way to make sure that no harm will be brought to these individuals and put them in the right situation to be with one another. Act accordingly and then follow your heart. I know it doesn’t sound romantic but it will be more likely to end in success with less damage to themselves and others.
2007-05-11 09:35:11 · answer #2 · answered by RandomChaos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen I was 18 and I met a family Friend and he was 30 and I was so in love with this man and I see him every now and then and the connection is still there I am married and he is married both have children and he is not happy in his marriage but I love my husband I look at it if the time was right then he would have been the man I married. He left me for the same reason to young I had My hole life ahead of me.I still love this man but I have a new life I know this is probably helping you at all but your not alone...
2007-05-11 08:48:31 · answer #3 · answered by julianneciechoski 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fact that you have both moved on with your lives and made commitments and families with someone else means that it should be treated as what it is, a happy memory. Nothing more, and not worth breaking up two families to play the game of "What if...?"
Besides that ten years have passed and neither of you are the same person, especially the 19 year old.
Anything else would be cheating.
2007-05-11 08:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would say that no one should stay together for the sake of the kids, the kids will be happy if the parents are. Just as long as they don't use their kids as pawns with each other. I think they should follow their hearts and do what feels right. If they aren't happy, they have the right to be, you only have one life to live and you might as well make an attempt to make it a happy one
2007-05-11 09:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by countrygrl278 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say follow your heart b/c it may be true love. ever heard the saying "if you love something let it go & if it comes back to you then that's how you know"? You may have given that person space & chance to experience somthing different but when you two saw each other again, the feelings were still the same. I've had this happen to me so that's why i feel that way. My first love & i sepearated after we graduated & i moved to another state but he found me on myspace.com. When i saw him posted on my page, the feelings were as if we never left each other even though we've both moved on. I really still care about him & wish i would have stayed & let him know. But i still have hope we may be back together one day. Just go with what your heart says. That seems to work for me.
2007-05-11 08:48:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, if you really like each other, why not setting down together. You make it sound like something else other than the age that is bothering you? Is it because the girl is 32 and the guy is 19? I will think that pose a problem. Usually the society/family/relatives accept older men much easier than older women.
2007-05-11 08:48:03 · answer #7 · answered by yabst@yahoo.com 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Something you should have done years ago but didnt, should not be considered after 10+ years (or whatever period of time ! )
Things change, people change. It might seem a great idea at the moment, but you were probably right in the decision you took in the past.
2007-05-11 08:44:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anir 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The result will be the same if and when u get married to that person. Other side of the grass is always greener.
2007-05-11 08:45:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
oviously this "person" is going to have issues, because either way he/she will be unhappy: if they leave their spouses, and their kids they will be upset for causing so much pain upon their family, but if they stay with their family their hearts are going to yearn for the long lost lover that they miss oh so much. So either way they are screwed really
2007-05-11 08:45:29 · answer #10 · answered by vbolden88 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋