My guy lied about going to the strippers and we worked it out. So I asked him if he got a lap dance and he said they don't do lap dances at any of the clubs in our city, he has never seen anyone get one or ever had one.
The reason I know this is BS is because I have gone to the strippers and seen the girls giving lap dances at many clubs to many patrons. Why would he try a bull s*&% me on this one?
Note: He does not realize I have ever been to a men's strip club.
Thanks for your help.
2007-05-11 01:35:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry then name is Doug but I am a woman
2007-05-11 02:57:17 · update #1
Maybe he lied because he knows you're hung up about it.
Just because he's gone to strip clubs doesn't mean he's had lap dances. Just because he's lied about lap dances being present at clubs doesn't mean he's had one. My guess -- he feared cross-examining from you.
Not saying it's right to lie, just saying.
From what you've said, it makes it look like you're purposefully looking for something to snag him on -- like you actually want to catch him in a lie.
Maybe he's gone to these places just because the other guys talked him into going. It's a guy thing -- I'm not into it, but a lot of guys are.
Ultimately, you've got to measure just how much bare honesty you can expect to give and receive. From my experience, most people lie when it's minor and they're afraid of hurting the other partner's feelings.
It's when they lie about the major things, that's when it bothers me.
I guess ultimately you have to decide just what's major and what's minor.
Good luck, and I hope it works out for you.
2007-05-11 02:11:36 · answer #1 · answered by joe b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay "Doug". The problem with the lying is that it starts and never stops. You have to be honest with one another, and maybe it can start with you. Tell him you've been to strip clubs you know what goes on, and ask him why he'd try to deceive you about it.
Why do guys lie about this? Because we don't want to upset our women and we know they'd be upset.
That doesn't mean we should lie about it though. I am in a relationship where we tell the truth even when it hurts or even when it's very awkward to do.
Of course, I don't go out to strip clubs or anything like that in the first place, so that makes it easier to begin with.
2007-05-11 08:42:35 · answer #2 · answered by btpage0630 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He lied becaus ehe thinks you don't know...stop playing games and come out and tell him you know for a fact they do and you might as well assume he has got one as well......big question is did he get private VIP services?? Some strippers will do a lot more then strip in a private room with a man.
2007-05-11 08:42:10 · answer #3 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once one lies, many times additional lies are needed to cover the first one. I would be more concerned about we he needed to lie in the first place. Some men really enjoy these types of activities. I guess I am to tight to pay money for looking. I sure would not go to one of these places, become aroused and then go home and expect something from my wife. Oh, I think I might get something, but not what I would desire.
2007-05-11 08:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by david42 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my first impression is that he lied because he thought he could get away with it.
however, from my experience with strip clubs (i go maybe once a month or so) it is not always obvious whether or not a club offers lap dances. some of them are curtained off or otherwise separate from the main 'dance' area so i guess it's remotely possible that he was not aware that the club(s) offered them...more likely he's just lying
2007-05-11 08:42:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
One question pops into mind. Why were you at a men's strip club?
Anyways, maybe he knew how badly you took just him being there, so he didnt want to make the situation worse. But stop bringing it up! You worked it out, so now stop talking to him about it! Your just opening the problem up again.
2007-05-11 08:41:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so let me see he lied to you and you dont tell him the truth?"Note: He does not realize I have ever been to a men's strip club"
Good luck
2007-05-11 08:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by EXPLOR6353 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apparently he fears you won't understand or will get angry...which says not only is he a liar but he doesn't know you well and doesn't think you are worth giving the benefit of the doubt.
What else is he lying about?
2007-05-11 08:38:59 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he must have lied because he thought he would get away with it. Since you know what really goes down in those clubs, confront him. Who knows what else he is hiding.
2007-05-11 08:39:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is trying to stop another argument, ask him in a gentle way and tell him you already know about the lap dancers there. /
2007-05-11 08:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋