I am in love with my friend for years now. We are mature enough, both of us earning a good income for our ourselves. But we cant be one. He too loves me immesely, but doesnt wanna say coz we have no future. We are single. There is nothing stopping us except the fact that our families will object for sure. What do I do stop my feelings and let him remain my frend. There is no way we can lose each other. So, we are maintaining just being frends. But I am helplessly in......
2007-05-09 21:38:01 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No, there is no problem with our families. I mean no conflict. We come from different religions. I am scared to love him because I have had a similar experience earlier. My parents wont agree. I know most of you will think that its love the second time. But, I was ditched then. My feelings are genuine as I am. He says he alone will take the pain and cannot hurt all others. They will be hurt? Is it wrong to love someone more than yourself. I can not lose him at any cost. Even the cost of my life.
2007-05-09 22:25:45 · update #1
If you both love each other, if you've clearly expressed this to each other or discussed this issue, then you both should not hold back yourself from having a relationship. Did you clearly ask him? Has he actually told you that he likes you as more than a friend? It's important that you are sure that your feelings for each other are genuine. And if it's really love, then you should go ahead with him.
You are an adult, you're earning and financially independent.. so you should have the right to make your own decision. You can't be friends for life if you love him and keep your feeling suppressed. You will keep on suffering. And anyways, you are person who needs love, and sooner or later you will have to marry someone! (if you're sure he's the right man for you) So why not him ?!!
Don't lose your heart. Because it's your life and the decision is in your hands. Once you become financially independent, you should feel confident and feel free to take what you want and take your own 'life decisions'.
If your mind and heart is in love with him, but the social circumstances are holding you back, then you must break out of this. If the tension and dilemma is only between you and him, then I suggest you break the ice by hugging him. See if that hugging him gives you satisfaction and happiness. If yes, you'll probably have clear idea of who you want to choose - him and family. Once you feel physically comfortable with him (touching or cuddles) you won't be able to leave him. (it could become a positive or negative thing depending on what next step u'll take).
If you earn money, and can support yourself, shouldn't you be in control? Love is not easy to find, much less the right person. So ask yourself are you willing to lose him.
I think you should go ahead with him if you really love him and think you can marry him. The most important question is also whether he loves you that much or not. If he does, then say 'yes'.
:)
2007-05-09 22:31:29 · answer #1 · answered by ricci 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you are between 16 and 21 just remain friends for a couple more yrs but if you are 21 or older then pursue it and don't worry about what your families think about it. In the long run if you are still together they will accept the fact that you are together and in love and things will be fine. Is there a problem that needs to be resolved with your families? Maybe you can resolve that b/4 you move on any farther in the relationship.
2007-05-10 05:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by wilma flintstone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Lord honey who do you want to spend your life with. Him or your families. The first lesson in love is to go by your feelings. The second rule is to communicate how you feel so you are sure it is a two way thing else many will be hurt.
Talk to him about a relationship and talk to him about families but most important talk to him about what each of you feel deep inside.
2007-05-10 04:46:42 · answer #3 · answered by Sanctero 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, let's review here. You say you are both mature, and you both have good jobs. What's the problem then? Who cares what your parents think, they're not the ones living your life. You can't let other people tell you what to do, or you'll never be happy. And if you have feelings for this guy, and he has feelings for you, try it out, see where it goes. If you don't, you'll just regret it.
2007-05-10 04:48:17 · answer #4 · answered by Becca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your at the point in your life that you have yo say fux what everyone else wants and make your choice, i keep telling myself that at the end of the day your the one who has the deal with the choices you make and if your famiy truly loves and supports you then they will come around.
2007-05-10 05:22:15 · answer #5 · answered by Nessaja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are mature and both of you are earning decent pay, I do not understand why you do not intend marrying. Let the parents object, but it is your life.
2007-05-10 04:43:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you think you no this friend doesn't mean you do, not really.Look around you and see how many husbands and wives think they knew their spouse until the day they up
and walked out on them.Don't ever think you no someone
because you don't not unless you can read his mind.
2007-05-10 04:52:22 · answer #7 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to leave him immediately bec you are imaging if he loves you . he hopes to you better life . you want to leave him and be just friends you have to take care of any thing else like studding ,doing sports, working.at the end you didnot lose your heart.you will love some one else. i hope for you a happy life.
2007-05-10 04:52:37 · answer #8 · answered by totika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should follow your heart.I felt that way before too,but we remain friends.
2007-05-10 04:45:04 · answer #9 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
slowely forgot him.go somewhere.dont meet u both for some days.try to forgot totally.
2007-05-10 05:43:38 · answer #10 · answered by vn t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋