Has anyone had their partner leave them because they can't have children?

Question

I cannot have children due to infertility and having had a hysterectomy.

My partner and I were going to foster some kiddies but now after knowing my situation since we met 2 and a half years ago, he's decided that he does want his biological children after all.

He moved out last Friday to take some time to decide on what he wants to do. Apparently we're supposed to be talking on Monday night.

I don't know what to do.

Should I stay or should I leave? If I leave, how am I ever going to trust someone again after all this.

Thanks for reading.


Deb
Sydney, Australia

I thought I'd add a few extra details.

I'm 36 and have been divorced previously after 14 years marriage, part of the reason being the infertility.

I did tell me current partner from the very outset about my infertility and he told me it wasn't an issue.

It's very difficult to accept that after all this time this has now become an issue.

I'm afraid to have another relationship in case the same thing happens again. All I can do is be honest and tell the truth about my situation. It feels cruel that my failure as a woman is the reason for losing another long term relationship.

I hope those details make my situation a little clearer. Thank you to everyone for their honesty in their answers.

Deb

Answer 1

This is a big decision for him. There is another option, however, you could have a surrogate mother carry a child for the two of you. Talk to a counselor before dissolving the relationship. Don't give up unless you really are not sure that you love him.

Answer 2

Don't judge all people by only one bad experience. You have to think about what you want both together. If he decides to leave, then its better for you than getting married and then getting a divorce. My opinion is that if he decides to continue with you, you have to appreciate his decision and you have to do your best in order to make him the happiest man on earth. I don't know how old you are but if you're having a relationship right now then you must be a wanted person, so if the decision is to break up, then you have to go on with your life. Once having another partner, you have to tell him the truth from the beginning in order not go through this hustle again. ONCE IS ENOUGH. Good Luck to you.

Answer 3

before giving up go get some marriage counseling. You may be able to discuss using a surrogate so the children will be his biological kids. I would give him the time then talk about getting counseling and surrogacy then meet again in a few days. If he cares for you he will be willing to think about it.