Is my marriage doomed?

Question

I've been married nearly 4 years now, but I'm not sexually attracted to my wife anymore no matter what we do. Is this how it will always be, I love her a lot what should I do

Answer 1

I had this problem last year and the way i resolved it was simple - Can you change the way you feel about her sexually, i don't think so and you need to think how you will be feeling in 10 years time. Is it gonna to be a regret spending that much time with your wife when you could be out their finding true happiness. It sounds like your best friends instead of lovers and personally i don't believe that is the best basis for a marriage, talk to her - she probably already knows how your feeling and if can't be sorted you need to get out!

Answer 2

If you are not attracted to your wife then you should think about why. How can you love her but not be attracted to her? Are you just dependent on her? She will eventually leave you if you don't show her affection - will you still love her then? I do not understand how a man can say he loves her but he doesn't want to show her - that is not what a woman wants and maybe she will still love you the same as you do her one day but find a fulfilling relationship with someone that is attracted to her and can SHOW her. It's up to you. Think about what love is and what kind of partner you are in your marriage or else face losing her all together.

Answer 3

So, just who are you attracted to now?

This is the woman you loved. Sure, you might find she changes over the years, but you will too - remember the things that you found attractive in the early days? Are they still there? Let her spend some money on clothes, hairdo and manicures - make her feel like a princess - perhaps she's not feeling as sexy as she used to (you don't mention if there are any children involved - if so, your wife might just need a reminder as to how sexy she still is). Help her discover the old her, you know you still love her. Work on it.

Answer 4

talk to each other - is there any signs that says she is feeling the same - distant from each other? Re-live some times from when you were first togetehr when love is always at its best - me and my partner of nearly 4yrs do this now and again - just to get talking about old times, how we met get the spark there for the day and it will last for a while again - leave her a note saying to meet you somewhere and go to the place where you first date - first kiss - we do this sit at exactly the same table and laugh about each others nervousness! - naughty places you used to have sex - a car park! Watch porn together, get some naughty playing cards - treat each other - but its best if you talk about it first otherwise she'll wonder what your up too - get the old photos out and sayits about time to get some new ones - have fun and be in love!!! Good luck - hope this helps!!

Answer 5

Sex is not everything. As you grow in your married life, you will find that there are other things that are more important than sex. Sounds like you still love your wife and that is the main thing, it is just that things are changing as you two mature!! Be up front with your wife and tell her how you feel.
Perhaps a marriage counselor can help as well.

Answer 6

Well, you should both go get some counseling. Is there a reason you are not attracted to her? Are you infatuated with another woman? Has she cheated on you? What? There must be a reason. If so, you two need to go away for a weekend together and remind yourself why you got married 4 years ago. I think there is something more here that you aren't mentioning.

Answer 7

Life is short man. You're gonna be dead in a few more years, and you mean you're going to sit around mopping about a life with one particular person......git real dude.
Dump that broad and move on to something more exciting. There are 7-billion people on this planet, div/2 that's 3.5-billion women, and you're crying over just one.
Wake up and sniff some coffee (or coke) and get a new squeeze. Maybe you're in the mood for a man.......heard about the
'Down Low'? Not my style but you might dig it.

Answer 8

The strong lust dies down after being married for awhile you know. If you love your wife then it will be replaced with a desire of wanting out of love instead of just lust. Your relationship is probably growing, as it will grow into different levels. If after being open with what you need sexually, you are still having trouble with attraction, I would seek professional help.

Answer 9

Your marriage is not doomed.

There is a pertinent article at http://www.smalleyonline.com/articles/question/honor.html which
speaks to a different issue, but to a same root cause.

There is so much good practical and effective advice at the following site: http://www.smalleyonline.com/articles/marriage.html

G-d bless you. Ask Him. He wants good for you. I would highly recommend calling the Smalley center (websites above) and ask about couples counseling. Many times even in terrible situations they are able to help a couple communicate again and see their love restored.

Answer 10

Hi..

Your marriage isn't doomed till GOD decides that it is;>

Perhaps,its time to review your sexuality.Ask yourself what is it that turns you on.Ask yourself if you and your wife have been doing the same sex-routine or have you been sleeping around?

Avoid counsellors as I feel that getting an outside party,besides your wife, involve in your sex life is unquestionably insulting and unhealthy. Instead,take matters into your hand.Bring her on a romantic getaway. If its till doesn't work, if screwing another woman can help save your amrriage,why not. What your wife doesn't know will not hurt her!

But,its pathetic that you think your marriage is doomed just because you're not sexually attracted to her anymore.