....is a tier 2 sex offender? We met him 5 years ago and he use to come over to our house once a week to play cards. He was never alone with our kids or even givent he chance to do anything with them. But he never told us he was a registered sex offender.
It is very disturbing to know that he is one but worst of all that he never told us. What would you do and how would you feel?
2007-05-09 17:01:46 · 9 answers · asked by LaVeta G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hello LaVeta,
What a shocking surprise that had to have been!
I would have felt betrayed, angry, and really scared for my children, but I probably wouldn't have wanted to kill him after I found out he never laid a hand on my kids.
I can understand why he wouldn't tell you. Those perps live in a shadow world and therefore distrust and suspicion will dog them for the rest of their lives if anyone finds out what they've done. With your family, the perp had a friend's affection, trust, good times, and a sense of belonging. If he told you, you might have shown him the door and he wasn't willing to risk losing it all.
I concede he might genuinely care for you and your family. He is still remotely human, after all. But he did betray your trust... isn't that what a sex offender does as a general rule? They are charming and wiggle under your defenses to find where you are vulnerable. Give him a chance to explain, if you like. But what you decide to do about it is solely up to you and your family.
If it were me, he would be gone. Perhaps... and I mean MAYBE if he had been honest after the first couple of meetings and told me what he was and explained the circumstances, I might have given him a chance... keeping my kids far away of course. But five years?? No. Not even.
Thank goodness your kids were safe!
Tara
2007-05-09 22:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by Tara S 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would end the friendship immediately. Why put your kids in any kind of danger? Why even risk it? I don't think sex offenders can ever change--sure they may do prison time, probation,etc but there is something screwed up in them to have made them do it in the first place. I don't see how any counseling could ever fix them. The whole idea of it is truly disgusting. Keep your kids safe and if he gets hurt by it, oh well. Good luck.
2007-05-17 08:41:12 · answer #2 · answered by christina30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be very angry. He violated your trust, omitting that he is a convicted sex offender is tantamount to lying to you. Understandably no one wants to air their ugly bits but this is serious stuff. Your children come first and should not be exposed to someone guilty of such a heinous offence, protect your children, make sure that they are aware that he could be a threat, he is no longer a stranger and your children could therefore be more vulnerbale to him.
2007-05-17 03:42:16 · answer #3 · answered by Greer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would feel first, very betrayed, that he wasn't honest enough to tell me this before entering my home to mingle with my family "not a friend", second, I would be angry that he kept this from my family and I and led us to believe that he was "normal". I would not allow him to come over to play cards ever again and I would be really careful about letting people into your home without first checking them out.
2007-05-17 04:59:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would feel disgusted, thankful that my children were not one of his victims, and then tell him that you feel he betrayed you by not being up front about it 5 years ago. Therefore he is no longer welcome in your home.
Call him on the phone, so that he won't have a chance to make it into a long conversation.
2007-05-16 20:07:16 · answer #5 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very thankful my kids were safe. I would be furious. I would end the friendship for 1) he didn't give you the respect to tell you and then have you decide on how to deal with it 2) omg... what if you had of left the kids alone around him.
2007-05-15 13:50:15 · answer #6 · answered by good ole girl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he had told you what would you have done? Tell him not to come around anymore? This could be one of the reasons why he chose not to tell you. He has probably changed. I would not have wanted him in my home though. I would be thinking that he would do it again.
2007-05-17 14:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by Highly Favoured 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you stop and think about it, would you tell new friends that you were a sex offender? I wouldn't tell because I don't think anyone would be their friend if they told that.
2007-05-17 01:16:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jan C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all i would be totally upset because a sex offender to me is the worst criminal ther is. i would tell him that he is not welcome in my home anymore. i am a mother of three therfore i don't entertain guest in my home. i very stern when it comes to my kids
2007-05-09 19:26:13 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie J 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋