Should I stay quiet??

Question

I have a 5 month old son who I can't take my eyes off of. Here's the problem...I know a woman who is 6 months pregnant with her first and still smoking. She has done so for her entire pregnancy, but I only saw it today. I want to give her the whole smoking speech, but she is in the medical profession and knows better. I know it's her choice and her business, but everytime I see my son...I want to say something about it.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

You should keep your mouth shut.I did that with my SIL.I gave her the whole speech and she never quit.Cause no matter what you say its up to her if she wants to quit or not.Though I did read something interesting...

Smoking while you're pregnant not only can cause numerous defects to your baby, your baby will be born addicted to nicotine..and when that happens..the baby cries, mom thinks baby is hungry, feeds baby, baby keeps crying, mom feds baby more, and so on and so on. What that baby is craving is nicotine because its addicted. It doesn know that..it just cries because it needs something..hunger, nicotine, either one...

Answer 2

Well, depends on how close you are to her...

I have a very close friend that smoked thru her entire pregnancy and the baby was fine... She actually did that with her three pregnancies and all the babies were normal and okay. When I scolded her for it the first time she was pregnant, she said that she would be even more stressed, which would stress the baby out too, should she quit smoking completely, so she said she put a limit to her cigarettes per day intake.

But going back, it really depends on how close you are to her. If you are best buds, and you are able to speak your mind, just say something about it in a non-confrontational way, or even just casually. Then at least you are able to get the dialogue going. If you are not really that close to her, try to find someone that is and just casually mention it to that person instead.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I had the same sitch except that my friend wasn't in the medical profession, but her sister was. She didn't do it in front of me but I could tell over the phone that she was smoking when she was 3 months along. I believe she smoked off and on during the entire pregnancy.
I was also pregnant with my first baby. We had them a week apart. While my baby was able to come home after the obligatory two nights, hers had to stay in the hospital for over a week in a little incubator because of breathing difficulties.

I am sorry to say that you probably can't change your friend. She is probably well aware of the risks but can't or won't bring herself to sacrifice her precious smoke for her child. It is a sign that she may become a very selfish mother. That may not happen though. My friend seems to have realized later that she should have been more careful and now she seems to be a very loving and conscientious mother.

Good Luck if you decide to say anything. It may ease your conscience but chances are it will offend.

Answer 4

If a woman is smoking and pregnant...she already knows the possible consequences. She already feels guilty every time she has a cigarette. If you have never been truly addicted to them you HAVE NO IDEA the internal hell she is going through over this. Passing judgment on her and treating her like she is a leopard is not going to help her. Only she can make the decision to quit. As a woman that has been there I can tell you...every time some interfering judgmental overbearing know it all decided to tell me what I already knew...I just wanted it that much more! It wasn't until people left me the he** alone that I was able to accomplish the feat!

Answer 5

Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you can do.
Everyone knows that smoking can harm the baby and if she's in the medical profession and still smoking, nothing you say is going to make her stop. If you say something she will most likely tell you to mind your own business.
Sometimes you just have to let things go.
At 6 months pregnant the damage is already done.
Just thank god for your son's health and the fact that you were sensible enough to do the right thing.

Answer 6

Stay quiet, there is NOTHING you can do. She has made the choice to HARM HER baby and that is HER choice and she will suffer the concaquences later IF there are any. I had a roommate (real B****, but not the point) and she drank and smoked her entire pregnancy with three kids and NOTHING is wrong with them except the first was born a month early and the second on time with LOW LOW birth weight. She got lucky on the third, he was late and VERY healthy.

Answer 7

You know, you said it quite nicely...."I know you're in the medical profession and you are probably aware that smoking at any time is not good for you, but especially when you are pregnant. It concerns me that you are smoking while you are pregnant, you have another life that you are in charge of. It may not be my business, yet, I feel a need to tell you this, because I am a mother and the thought of you hurting your unborn child is distressing." Good luck! :)

Answer 8

Oh sweetheart. You have to do. As your friend she is relying on you to be there for her.

Smoking during pregnancy can cause so many problems for the child. I sitll think to this say that that is why my cousin has down syndrome.

As a friend, approach it casually, don't get her upset by telling her about what she should do with her life, as she might get upset. And instead of looking at her child like you enjoy, she will be seeing him in an incubator, or in a casket. The effects are tremendous, epsecially if she smokes very often.

Answer 9

this is rough... but honestly keep quiet. she already knows the disadvantages to smoking period, let alone smoking while prego. i hate to say this but i actually feel for the woman. it is very hard to quit. i REALLY hate to say THIS- i, too am a smoker and tried to quit while pregnant. unsuccessfully, though and smoked through 3 pregnancies. my doc asked me to cut down at least and said it was very important to eat well, even more so than non-smokers. thank god i was lucky- my 3 were all just under 9 pounds and very healthy and on time. believe me, she knows the risk and it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! how would you like it if someone told you not to discipline or wear certain clothes, etc...

Answer 10

The child's health is more important in this case. Yes, she is supposed to know since she is in the medical profession, but maybe she needs to hear what a jerk she is being to an unborn child because she is too selfish to stop smoking. So get in her face and telling her what an a**hole she's being. Don't worry about your relationship with her.. The unborn child is worth it (and your concience), to do the right thing instead of worrying about how she might feel/react to you opening your mouth. So do the right thing. Help that unborn baby, because right now you may be its only voice. Stick it to her. Have I made myself clear?? Good. Now the way I just spoke to you is the way you should be speaking to her.