Like, in You've Got Mail, Tom Hanks' character tells Meg Ryan's character that he doesn't like being able to hurt people by insulting them, but Meg's wanted to be able to. That is like me, I want to be able to fight back quickly. Any of you have any advice?
2007-05-09 15:08:12 · 8 answers · asked by Megz 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Why is it so important to fight back? It doesn't really matter what others say about you or to you. Would you want to teach your children revenge? I have to tell my children, about each other, all of the time, "It doesn't matter what they say, you know the truth." If I let what others say about me, I would never realize what is really important. I'm not saying that there aren't times to defend yourself, just not for revenge. God says revenge is His. You know the truth, and it doesn't matter what they say or think. Know that in your heart, and it won't really matter what they say.
2007-05-09 15:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by keepthehope4 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I usually try to turn it around on them. Look really intrigued, peer into their eyes, and say, "What makes you say that?" or, "I don't really understand what you mean by that..."
Example:
When I was pregnant with my first child at 21, I was married and quite thrilled about the baby, nonetheless, I constantly heard:
"Aren't you a little YOUNG to be having a baby?"
I always looked really confused, then said, "Why? Do you think that my age will somehow hurt the baby? Is there some new test that I'm not aware of, and if you're 29 and pregnant, you pass, but otherwise, no?"
or
"Why do you say that, were you out bar-hopping at my age? Did it take you a really, really long time to mature? That's a shame."
The trick is to act really concerned, like you know they MUST have a wonderful reason for being so rude, and you'll wait all day to hear it.
For any sort of insult, it works pretty well. Like:
"You look TIRED lately"
"Oh? Why do you say that?"
(They stammer at you for a minute, while you stand there patiently and let them sweat. It tends to cure them of this obnoxious behavior.)
For outright abuse, I always ask,
"Why are you talking to me like that? (Or why are you shouting, shoving, etc.) Then, again, just stand there and make them explain themselves. Repeat if necessary.
Hope this helps!
2007-05-09 15:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by Junie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a mature attitude to ignore insults and abuse. When you react with equal or more violence you become just like them making it difficult to distinguish who is right and who is wrong.
In cases of extreme danger the reaction would be necessary for the preservation of life. But if that is not the case, walk away.
2007-05-09 15:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by BP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
education, enlightenment on human affairs. When you see why you insult people, when you see why they insult people in the mirror, truthfully. Then thier insults are rather funny. Like neo dodging bullets, and you can fling them right around when inspiration strikes, so dry and droll they may not even understand. Give them rope to hang them selves, remain cool, gain thier trust but encourage them to explain thier hate or abusiveness. Try not to laugh in thier face.
2007-05-09 15:22:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One way I've found useful is to say something like;
"That's interesting! What makes you say (think, feel, etc.) that?"
and to keep on in that same way until they have no base for an insult.
It either frustrates them or whatever the 'REAL' problem is gets worked-out.
2007-05-09 15:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by alvarenga_m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is really just verbal sparring. You need to practice it to get good. You have to think quickly and not be afraid to serve it right back.
It's alot of fun and it doesn't have to be mean spirited. My BF and I really enjoy it. It spices things up.
2007-05-09 15:15:50 · answer #6 · answered by Lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah the secret is to get out the house, call the cops. its so easy that people dont even think about it, so they stay around and get more insulted and abused. if you listen to juniper then it justifying why people do the things they do. arent you too young for a kid? who asked for your opinion, or did i ask you. if i wanted to know what you think, i would have beaten it out of u.
2007-05-09 17:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just say, God I really feel sorry for you. It's really pathetic that a person such as yourself has to bully me, so that they can feel better about themselves.
2007-05-09 15:40:20 · answer #8 · answered by DaMaverick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋