Hi! Im from 19 and from HAWAII. I am in a very difficult situation right now and i feel like im stuck in the middle of my parents problems! Well, my dad cheated on my mom a while ago when i was about 11 years old, and my mom found out from a friend of hers that knew, they seperated for a couple months, then worked things out and have been happy for as long as i can remember. Then about 6 months ago my mom told me that she is seeing my dad's really good friend. My mom and I are really close, so she tells me everything. My dad and I arent as close, but i love him to death. My mom has been talking to my dads friend all the time on the phone and they see eachother all the time, and i also found out they had sex, although i am not sure how many times, but ONCE is bad ENOUGH! i just dont know what to do, everyone is telling me that the right thing to do is to tell my dad because he deserves to know. Is everyone right? Im so scared, i dont want my mom to be mad at me!! What should i do???
2007-05-09 15:06:08 · 13 answers · asked by timu808 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You should have a talk with your mom and tell her that she needs to be honest about her affair. She is living a double life and it's not fair for you and your dad. She needs to come clean.
2007-05-09 15:12:33 · answer #1 · answered by dlunaii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your mom that sharing her affair is totally shitty. How dare she put the burden of behaving like an adult on you when she is the parent. I would call your dads friend and tell him you know and you think it is about the lowest thing on the planet to go after a friends woman. Also, hint that your dad may get this same info reeaaall soooon and then he gets to explain his behavior. Most of all I would let your mom know how disappointed you are that she can't control her urges. What is she ... a high school girl. Great example she is setting for you, really classy. Don't take any excuses cuz there aint none. If you are in a relationship then you have to act like you are mature enough to handle it ...or get out of it. I am so sorry you got put in this position but it is not your problem to fix. make your mom do it.
2007-05-09 15:18:15 · answer #2 · answered by dave k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother has probably done this before and other things like it. She sounds like she has some mental problems like being bipolar. When you is Manic she is horny and cannot control herself. When she is depressed it is hard for her to get out of bed. Oddly, the whole thing can be caused by the thyroid gland being off causing short term bipolar episodes. So get her thyroid tested to rule that out. T3 and T4 test plus a test for progesterone as if it is low it can make her thyroid not work and make her psycho too. Otherwise, there is a salt called Lithium that you need in your brain to make you normal. She needs to take a test from a psycologist to tell that. Have hope. Your best friend is a liar because she is afraid. Now she has done something that makes you want to puke. Your Dad is no help so find some new friends in your life who do not do things that are disgusting and wrong. IF she does not get help you can live on your own at 16. Add your age to your answer. K? Oh, and what State you are in. You can email me and I will answer.Thanks>>G
2016-05-19 03:58:31 · answer #3 · answered by pearle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hunny, there is no way that your mother should have ever confided something like that to you! She put you somewhere that you should never have to be, right smack dab in the middle of their tussle! I am hoping that she didn't do it on purpose, but if she did, the only reason I got think of is that she is wanting you to choose sides. Not a good idea!
I am sure she is very hurt and upset over what your father has done to her in the past, but she has no right to get you involved. Tell her that you love her and your dad both and you DO NOT belong in the middle of this. Also let her know that two wrongs DO NOT make a right and as much as she may think that she is hurting your dad or getting back at him, she is hurting herself and YOU as well. Ask her to please stop and get some counseling........... I think your parents should go together for awhile, but at some point, you should be involved in it too.
Don't tell your dad, but ask your mom to please stop or be the one to tell him, as it is her place, not yours!
Hang in there, it will get better!
If ya need to talk, just send me a message, I know what you are going through, trust me!
2007-05-09 15:17:40 · answer #4 · answered by mrsmommaid 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
JMO but you should tell mom that you love her and all, but please keep you out of their problems. Your mom shouldn't put you in a position like that. Also explain to her that she needs to decide who she wants to be with because alot of bad things can happen if she continues on that path. After this talk,remind mom once again, that you do not want to be involved or hear anymore details of her affair.
2007-05-09 15:40:43 · answer #5 · answered by Bindy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your parents marriage is not your concern....just be the one your mom talks to...it may not be right that she is messing around on your dad but if you tattle on her then your only going to see your parents develop hatred towards one another......it is best for things to work thereselves out there is nothing you can do and you just need to live your life and pay no attention to what your mom is doing.....it may hurt you because you love your father and feel that it will only be right to tell him but if you do that then you will put yourself in a position to where once it is out in the open then they yell at you about the other person and so on.......save yourself the headache and keep quiet...he'll find out soon enough....it's okay to care about your dad's feelings but it is not okay to be as young as you are and get in the middle of the things that are going on right now.........
2007-05-09 15:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by Sam Fisher 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It was not appropriate for your mother to tell you any of this. I would go to her and tell her you're her daughter, not her friend and she should not discuss her marital problems with you. I'm trying to put myself in your situation, which is hard because this never happened in my family. I think I would probably let my mom know I was cutting off contact with her until my dad comes to me and lets me know it's been resolved, one way or another. Thereby letting her know I expect her to come clean and deal with it before talking to me again.
2007-05-09 15:27:02 · answer #7 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your mom to end it or come clean with your dad.maybe she thinks dad is still cheating and this is how shes dealing with it? ask her -then tell her you dont want to know any of this cause you love her and your dad and are not choosing sides or keeping secrets anymore.if you must move out.good luck.
2007-05-09 15:34:47 · answer #8 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your dad. I know it's difficult but the truth is always better! Just find some special way to do it, try not hurt him in some way if possible.
If you want, add me on yahoo messenger and we can talk some more... my id: acruzli
good luck!
2007-05-09 15:23:26 · answer #9 · answered by A Real Fan 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know this seems like a hard thing to do, but let things work themselves out. Trust me you don't want to get entangles in that whole ordeal.
2007-05-09 15:11:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋