Should I kick my wife to the curb?

Question

My wife and I have been married for a long time. We have 3 kids with the youngest being 14. She has been having an on again off again affair with a guy out of state. She keeps saying nothing is going on and then once or twice a year off she goes. She claims that nothing is going on, but I know better. Seems to be no end in sight. Do love her, even though she seems to be the best liar in the world, so she thinks.

Answer 1

well..there's nothing easy about that..if she is having an affair she's pretty open about it..you knowing where she's going and who she's with..could it be possible that it is platonic?if so then you have another problem..for your wife to do that..it's very disrespectful..she's not taking your feelings into consideration..if he's just a friend then fine but he should be your friend too..you should be asked to go along on those trips if she can't do that then you have some re-evauluating to do..if she can't respect you..your feelings and your marriage it may be time to move on..

Answer 2

Why would you do that when you can just start an affair of your own. Give her a taste of what she's giving you. Why do you put up with her if she leaves. One of these times when she leaves replace all the locks. She doesn't love you anymore if she is going off once or twice a year to see this internet guy. SHe is leaving you and her kids for some guy she met on-line. Sit her down tell her there is no use lying cause you know she is cheating on you. You just want to know why she would do this to you and her kids.

To the people that are asking what proof he has..get a a brain..she leaves 1 or 2 a year without telling him where shes going. and She brush it off as it were nothing. If she isn't doing anyhting wrong she would be mad for having even been accused of this stuff she's doing. She doesn't care about him anymore..Or she would even go to visit this guy she met off the NET !!!! wake up. he has all the proof he needs.

Answer 3

so you no longer have any trust in your relationship. Either get your facts in line, or forget it and stop worrying. Maybe couple counseling could help you get to the bottom of this.

If she really is having an on again, off again affair, then that's the person she is. Can you life with that? She probably isn't going to change, and you need to come to terms with that idea. Thus the quote, God grant me the ability to change what i can, and the serenity to accept what I can not. You have kids to raise. Consider the outcome with her behavior and them. Kids are not stupid, and can put it all together.

Answer 4

Confront her. Tell her you know, and to not even bother trying to tell you otherwise because the lie is ugly and a bad one at that. If she doesn't want to come clean and play like grownups then it's time for you to put yourself in the drivers seat and be #1.
If she agrees to stop and tells you the truth, then you both need to go to counseling so this can be mended. Otherwise you are letting another affair or another problem seed itself and it will rear its ugly little head later down the road. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Its sounds to me like she is just using you as a cushion to fall back on when her relationship with the other guy is is on the rocks. If you dont want a divorce just yet then marriage counseling is your best bet. If not, go file for divorce and move on with your life and get out of this real life soap opera and find someone that will be true to you.

Answer 6

i think first you two should try some marriage counseling. tell her you want to go with her next time she goes out of town. if she won't let you go, you shouldn't let HER go. bottom line is it sounds like she messing around. you deserve better, and you need to tell her that. tell her if she doesn't stop this relationship with this other guy, that you are going to file for divorce. also inform her that if you can prove she is committing adultery, she gets NOTHING in the divorce, and the judge will lean more towards giving you custody of the kids. they don't need to see her doing that stuff to you. they are all old enough to realize that something is not right. its not really fair to them for you two to carry on such an untrusting, disrespectful relationship. tell her she is not setting a good example for her kids. if she wants to be with someone else, she needs to let you know, so you can end your marriage. its not fair to you to stay and put up with her infidelity. everyone deserves honesty, trust, and loyalty in a marriage and it seems like you aren't getting that. i wouldn't put up with it any longer, call your lawyer, and get custody of those kids. good luck, and trust me, not all women are shady like that.

Answer 7

Sounds like she's a total nympho. Its hard but make a plan. Gather evidence, etc. Maybe she'll take you seriously if you cut her loose. Think about what this is doing to your kids. Children are always negatively affected by parents' activities such as these.

Answer 8

I agree with Maria. Think first before acting. Try this and see what she has to say, the next time she goes on one of her trips ask if you can go along.
One last thing, don't stay with her for the sake of the kids because it's not fair to them.

Answer 9

OUCH! That has to hurt a lot. I would definetely give her an ultimatum. You see, she's having her cake and eating it too. She has you as her foundation but when she gets too antsy, she goes somewhere else to be the "wild bad girl" that she's missing in her life. She is thinking of herself and her needs and not your feelings. You have to stick up for yourself and tell her that you will not tolerate it anymore. Then try to get into counseling. There are definetely issues to address. Good Luck!

Answer 10

You're deeply hurt by the very though of it I'm sure. But, do you know for sure this is going on? She is the mother of your children, if nothing more. I'd suggest you tell her that you believe this marriage ahs a problem and the two of you need to see a marriage councellor.