I have been in a relationship with my married boss for 3 years. He has kids and claimes that his marriage is over, but he can't pull the trigger because of his kids. I resisted for a while then effed up and believed him. He claims that I'm the love of his life but that he can't leave. I am expecting nastiness and I can handle it. I never would have gotten involved if I didn't think he would leave. I didn't initiate the relationship, but I know that doesn't matter. What do you think?
2007-05-09 14:33:18 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think he does not plan on leaving his wife and family and you are wasting your precious life on this earth in a dead-end relationship. When it does end or you wake up, you are going to be so sad and sorry you have wasted this time. Life isn't a dress rehearsal....I feel sorry for you
2007-05-09 14:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He can pull the trigger - he just doesn't choose to and if the truth was known, probably never will. Moreover, why should he? This man has the best of both worlds and you are encouraging him even further. I would think that you are younger than him and he wants a 'piece' on the side. Well, all I can say is he's got it and you are his play thing when his wife is too tired or otherwise pre-occupied with the children.
On the other hand, if he left her, he would probably lose all his equity in the business and would be forced to pay large amounts of child support.
He would also look bad in the eyes of the business affiliates? No, my dear he will never leave his wife. But if you allow him to, he will waste your youth and take all your goodness from you.
Morally, what you both have done is wrong. However, you may choose to terminate the relationship with him and ask for forgiveness with concerns to this matter.
I would.
Good luck.
2007-05-09 14:46:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You moved away yet you are still having an affair. He's already said he won't leave his wife. Yes, take the promotion and move on with your life. He's dead weight and holding you back, only keeping you around for a piece of a$ $. If you haven't figured that out by now, you are in major major denial. It's sad. Why would you want a secret life? Get some counselling to find out why you have no self-respect and why you think you don't deserve more than crumbs from a predator adulterous man who cheats on his wife with his subordinates. It's sick.
2016-04-01 04:34:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have lost your mind if you think what you are hearing from a married man is unique. Are you really young? This is so transparent it's ridiculous. A married man wants to get laid. He doesn't want to leave wife, he always claims his marriage sucks, he always claims you are the love of his life. Grow up. Pick a man who is single and available. You act like you have no choice because he initiated the relationship. Of course he did. He wanted a likely candidate to screw around with and you were available. If you really want a relationship and are ready to be an adult, find an available non married guy. Take your chances and stand up to the test.
2007-05-09 14:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being brutal probably isn't necessary. I'm sure I could go on with the inappropriateness and scantity of marriage that you are violating but at the end of the day you will need to be responsible for your actions.
You need to end things with him. If you think your job is at stake then you need to get an attorney (if it's worth keeping). If you were the love of his life, he would not be with his wife. He would do everything in his power to be with you and only you, the reality is that he is treating you and has you as a mistress. If he wanted to completely be with you he would have been in contact with a divorce attorney and divorce financial planner three years ago to get things in process to give his wife the boot.
Go spend your time on a man who wants to be exclusively with you. You won't have to sneak around, you won't have to worry about his wife "finding out" and so forth. The only reason I say leave him his because it sounds like he's been leading you to believe divorce was eminent for the last three years.
Best of luck, I hope you can find a man who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
2007-05-09 14:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by It's me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So ten years from now do you still want to be in this same situation? If you were really the love of his life he'd have gotten rid of the wife ages ago. You're just a sweet bit of *** on the side. But you already know that.
Get some self respect, woman! Pick up your dignity and kick him to the curb.
2007-05-09 14:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok its been 3 years and he is still blowing smoke up your a**? What are you waiting for? 3 more years? Dude I don't care how good he talks, he isn't going anywhere but home to his wife after work or after he is done with you which ever comes first. You are one of 3 in a co-dependant relationship. Get out now or else don't and just dig in your heels and expect exactly what your getting now for the remainder of your relationship...... Leftovers!
2007-05-09 14:41:52 · answer #7 · answered by angiee631 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You realize it's a no win situation no matter what. If he does leave the wife for you, he'll still always be involved with the ex and the kids, and you'll be considered a home wrecker. If he doesn't leave the wife for you, you'll always get sloppy seconds of him, his time, his money, etc. And then years down the road, you'll realize that your life is passing you by, and you wasted it on him.
2007-05-09 14:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They won't leave, I've been involved with a married man who has 3 kids with her and 2 with me, he says he loves me and the kids but can't leave his family. It's funny how things work out sometimes, you live and you learn, I'd say get out before you end up like me. Good luck, I know it's hard to leave
2007-05-09 14:37:52 · answer #9 · answered by missing_something 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want him? I mean he's lying to his wife; cheating on his wife; being totally disrespectful to his wife. Do you really think that, if he leaves his wife and kids for you, that he will never cheat on you? Never lie to you?
You have allowed him to have his cake and eat it too.
Personally, I think that you should end the affair; find a different job and find a partner who loves and respects you and is totally committed to you. You have invested 3 years with this man and are no closer to a "normal" relationship with him. You deserve better!
2007-05-09 14:46:17 · answer #10 · answered by Susan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋