How do you fall in love with your mate again?

Question

Does anyone ever feel like they've fallen out of love? I know everyone has problems, but this is the first time in 4 years I have felt like I just don't want to see my husband, talk to him or spend any time alone with him. We've had our problems and I am a very passionate person, he isn't. Doesn't expect anything and doesn't really like responsibility. He tells me he loves me everyday, but is never romantic and never has meaningful conversations with me. Am I just bored? I'm scared that I am falling out of love with him.

Answer 1

You are choosing to fall out of love with him! Love is a choice. We all need to nurture our relationships, not let them get to this point. Start by showing him more affection, tell him how much you appreciate him, and be a little kinder. See what happens with his attiude after you do this. I almost guarantee that he will start being more romantic and have meaningful conversations with you. You see a problem, and you need to do something about this now. Do not brush this under the rug anymore. Nagging him about how he doesn't do this isn't going to do any good. It's going to push him away, and make him feel like he isn't good enough for you. Change your attitude and the way you are around him. It's not that hard! I did it and my husband and I have never been happier. Making changes isn't easy, but I am happier, and I wish I could have done this sooner.

Answer 2

This is a tough question! Do you remember why you fell in love with your husband in the first place? What were the qualities you were first attracted to in him? Love changes like anything else and being in a marriage is hard work but if you feel like it's worth the work deep in your heart of hearts, you can get through this bad patch. And there is always couples therapy.

You know we woman always want the fairy tale, at least I do, but life is just not like that. We really need to think about what is actually important to us as far as qualities in our mate goes. If your husband is a good provider or a great father or lover or whatever, concentrate on his great qualities and maybe he just needs a little help in the romantic area, so try to help him help you!

I wish both of you the very best! Hang in there Girlfriend and show him what you want and need!

Answer 3

You're going through the down part of the ups and downs most couples experience. You and your husband need to find your way back to each other. Take time to appreciate the little things and each other's good qualities. Remember why it was that you fell in love with each other in the first place.
Do things for each other that you know the other person likes--a back rub or a favorite meal, etc. Try to take just 10 minutes a day to reconnect, and communicate. It can be about the day's events, your thoughts or feelings, your goals, plans, outings, etc. The important thing is to just talk.

Answer 4

If you plan on continuing in your marriage then you will have revisit the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. If he's not bringing the fire, then you bring it. You plan the romantic excursions.

You haven't mentioned it, but have you talked to him about how you're feeling? One of the number one things needed for a marriage to survive is open and effective communication. If you don't tell him, then he won't know what to change.

Was he like this when you married him? Does he work long hours? Is he ill? Talk to him and be totally honest with him. Even about the part of not wanting to be alone with him. You have to let him know 100000000% everything that is going on with you and give him the opportunity to get it right.

Also, you should consider going to marital counseling as well.

Answer 5

Hi I'm a man speaking to you from a man's point of view. We want to do what a man is suppose to do. Find a woman, marry her, and have a family, not realizing that it takes work to make a good marriage. A marriage like that is like getting in a boat with no oars, no motor, no sail and drifting on a windless lake. If you want to make the marriage work then you will have to do the things to make it work. He doesnt realize he needs to do anything.
Think about what it was that made you fall in love in the first place. Think about the things that you would like to do. Dont try to tell him changes need to be made he will probably either resist and become defensive or promise that he'll make the changes then dont follow thru.
Try to use personal touch... like hands on the shoulders... hugs around the neck. At the same time slowly try to casually talk to him. Try to be patient with this you have to make it a habit to get him used to doing it. When he gets used to the attention then maybe he will come around to be more attentive to you

Answer 6

Sure,I've felt that way before .But,your in a situation that your needs aren't being filled by him.I mean it's nice too hear"your husband say, that he loves you".I mean everyone knows how to say that,but saying and being a romantic are too different too different people that is.If he's not giving you 100% you need to tell so you can move on with your life.
You need too tell him he's not being romantic enough and you think that for the both of you,You need too step up and say My needs are not being met in this relationship that he is trying too have with you again.
You need to find a man who shares the same passionate things as you do.I think you'd be more happier in the long run.

Answer 7

My now husband and I went thru the same thing. I was 18 and he was 24 and we had known each other for 2 years waited till I was 18 to start dating and 7 months after we started dating we proposed to me and we "made a baby" lol but I felt traped and I felt like my life was over. I was told it is all normal to feel that way, because you are losing some freedom, you are not wanting a new baby, even tho not that you are pregnant you are happy. What we did was started going out on dates helping our love life grow, just because I was pregnant did not mean we could not have fun. So we had a blast and gave birth to a healthy little baby boy. My advise is to relive your date life with him.

Answer 8

Yes, I fell out of love with my first husband, shortly after we were married. Because he was verbally and physically abusive.

If your husband is good to you, thank your lucky stars. If it's romance you need, then I have a few questions for you to ponder..... Was your husband compassionate, romantic BEFORE you got married? If the answer is yes, ask yourself this: What did you do to bring this out in him? Maybe YOU need to bring romance back to your marriage. Do what you did before you were married to attract him and make him compassionate and romantic towards you. It could have been the smell of your perfume, or the way you complimented him and made him the center of your attention. What ever you did, do it again, it worked then, it can work again.

Answer 9

We communicated with each other.

If you WANT this to work, you can make it work. Try reading the "Five Love Langauges" book together and try going through Dave Ramsey's "Money Makeover" as well. Go through them together.

Discuss them. Talk about them. Find out each other's love language--it's amazing how you each DO show your love for each other but don't show it in the same love language.

Also, try to go out more. Go out on a vacation with just the two of you, be open, get some KY warming gel (very nice for backrubs), and do things TOGETHER that you both would like. Try going to the zoo, going horseback riding, etc.

Like I said, if you want to make it work, you can.

Answer 10

Initiate sex with him and follow through. I know how crass that sounds but I have been there myself. As much as I didn't want to do it, once I did, the rest fell into place. It wasn't just about sex. It was about reconnecting. And the healing slowly took place on many different levels. As the sexual tension started to ease away, we were better able to communicate effectively. I also know that is overly simplified, but it's a start if nothing else. Good Luck!