Ok so, About three months ago i broke up with my long term boyfriend because he was ignoring me, treating me like ****, and taking drugs so i left, we then hardly spoke for 2 months I found out he was sleeping (not in a relationship) with someone else and hitting the drugs really badly after i left. Now he wants to start again he has moved away from the drugs and says he needs me as a friend so i went over his new house for 4 days in that time we slept together told eachother how much we are in love he even cried when we made love for the first time again, so the thing is i love him so much but I'm not ready to go through all this again if he is just gonna crush me all over again do you guys out there think i should be doing this?
2007-05-09 12:35:57 · 16 answers · asked by Hayley C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you keep it in perspective, maintain your own apartment, take it slow and make sure he's not doing drugs or going to treat you badly, why not......don't put your life on hold for it though.....
2007-05-09 12:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In the little time he has been clean is not sufficient for a drug addict. In NA they explain that two years clean isn't enough time to prove you quit. They also say that 98% of all addicts relapse (go back to drugs) after their first try to get clean. Only 4% have quit on their own. I take it he's not in any program because of the time frame you spoke about.
The question is: If you love him what will you do "when" he fall?
2007-05-09 19:50:13 · answer #2 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. It is NOT your responsibility to "save" him from his self-destructive behavior.
Tell him you love him very much, but for your own well-being you can be in a relationship with an addict. Tell him if he really loves you, he'll make the effort to get clean and control his temper. Offer to go with him to the clinic/doctor/rehab/etc for moral support. Do NOT sleep with him again until he has shown that he can be both sober and faithful... the burden of proof is now on his shoulders. Recovery is up to him, not you.
2007-05-09 19:42:12 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, this is a hard one but you gotta get through this. if hes been on drugs...he needs mor etime to recover, most people dont recover 1,2,3 snap....they need time. this happend to my father when I was young and my parents got divorced and my mother found a new man. now get your new man and leave this guy, hesin a bad mental state proboly and cant think right and is all sad alone because he was on drugs. but when your not sleeping with him, and when he gets mad, then you will see why I told you to leave him. Go find the macho man youve been dreaming of who you dont even know girl!
Good Luck!
2007-05-09 19:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by dockdickdock 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If hes off the drugs he might be thinking more clearly and willing to work on the relationship. Give him a 2nd chance.
2007-05-09 20:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay strong. you broke up with him for a reason, and ultimately those reasons will still be there. if you take him back, you give him back the power to treat you badly. only you can say whether it is worth it, but from my experiences, and the experiences of my friends, once a relationship is on the rocks, it stays there.
either be with him, or don't be. but seeing him and sleeping with him when you are not together is just going to prolong the pain and stop either of you moving on.
2007-05-09 19:41:53 · answer #6 · answered by girl3blonde 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
gurly--he's going to crush you. i dated a guy for almost 2 years once, and he told me he would stop taking drugs and gurl--he never did. he told me he'd quit, and 2 weeks later he did it again and promised he would stop again-but he never could. and he treat me bad too...i know you love him, but do u think you deserve a guy who doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated? their someone out there who will...don't stay with someone who doesn't make you happy okay? u deserve the best, not 2nd best.
2007-05-09 19:42:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MMMM this is a hard ? because knowing guys you can never tell if they are speaking the truth.. If he cried for the 1st time and you really love him I would give him 1 more try because everyone diserves a 2nd try. I really hope everything works out and good luck! â¥Deborah
2007-05-09 19:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by cutiegirl 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sex isn't going to fix his problem. I'm sorry, this is a hard answer, but he needs tough love. If you commit to a drug addict, your life is going to be painful. If he loves you, he'll get over it. It's difficult. I hate to say this, but he's got to decide. Good luck. More people are praying for you then you think.
2007-05-09 19:41:58 · answer #9 · answered by John 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I not a guy honey, but I'll answer anyway. PLEASE back off. I'm sure you have a lot more to offer. When HE gets himself together, on his own - then think about it. By then you'll be on a whole new happy path. Best of luck ~ be careful.
2007-05-09 19:44:54 · answer #10 · answered by risa131313 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋