I have an ex and we have children together. He forces me to deal with her and she is rude, condensending and tries to undermine me as their mother. But she calls me inconsiderate, selfish and manipulative because I refuse to deal with her. What do I do about it?
2007-05-09 11:48:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, I have sole custody......
2007-05-09 12:58:05 · update #1
the kids now believe in evil step mothers. the girl is 12 years younger than me and my ex.
2007-05-09 12:59:22 · update #2
Your ex-hubby is trying to satisfy her insecurities by allowing her to deal with his responsibilities. It will definitely work unless you change your approach. As long as she's the honcho, she controls your involvement with him. It also keeps you frustrated, her happy and possibly him laughing. Be the woman here and do whats best for your kids especially if he has custody. Change your approach, deal with her and only her as if he don't count and do it as if you prefer to have it that way. Sooner than you think he will make the first move toward dealing with you once he see the change. Remember your refusal to deal with her just give her additional powers that she would never have had in the first place.
If you are the one that has custody..................... tell her to kiss your ***.
2007-05-09 12:26:10 · answer #1 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What can you do?
If ex refuses to deal with you, or if you figure it's not worth fighting about, because you're going to have a hard time with either of them, anyway - so, might as well, at least, not fight about this particular issue (who your contact person is), because it's just upsetting to the kids...
Treat her like a business associate who is a complete jerk, but who you have to play nice with, if you want to keep your job.
Be polite. Always acknowledge that you understand her concerns before stating your own. Keep all communication in writing as much as possible, to minimize the damage to the kids. Be firm, yet considerate.
Remember that she probably thinks she's fighting for her boyfriend's rights with his kids (which are, really, the kid's rights with their father). The more you let her know that you understand her reasoning, the less she'll feel she needs to be overbearing about.
2007-05-09 19:12:05 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should probably just but out of their relationship. He is choosing to be with her, and you shouldn't do anything to jeopardize that for him.
No, she shouldn't be telling you how to raise your children....but the reason she treats you the way you do is MORE THAN LIKELY because your hubby has said negative things about you, forcing an opinion of you onto her.
If you want to be childish, then come up with something to 'get her back'....OR, if you want to do what's best for your children, ignore her, and let her continue to think you are inconsiderate, selfish, and manipulative.
Your children should be your only concern, not your ex and his new woman!
2007-05-09 19:12:05 · answer #3 · answered by jezyka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im alittle judge mental on this one. my husbands x like to have drove us crazy and she was all you described above and alot more. I was his girl friend at the time and she kept him so tore up and used there kids all the time. I got fed up and put a stop to it she may have been there mother but she was no mommy. Now if you are like her you get what you get. But if you are a true mommy and this woman is just trying to pull rank remind her you are there mom. But sence you have soul custody why are you dealling with them anyway? Shouldn't have to unless its over child support. I will tell you this you can get her for phone harrasment if she is calling you or harrasment if she is coming to you . Unless you are doing the calling then there is nothing you can do.
2007-05-09 23:30:08 · answer #4 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to deal with her? She's his girlfriend. He's your ex.
Only have conversation with him. If he can't come get the kids, and drop them off, then the kids stay home.
Do they think she is nice? Any redeeming qualities to her per your kids?
She can call you anything she wants. It's truely none of her business.
My ex picks up my son and drops him off. He usually makes arrangements with my son, age 14, and my son lets me know he is going.
My domestic partner picks up his son, and drops him off at home. His ex and I have a "Hello." relationship.
On occasion we end up with each other's kids, rides or such during work, etc....and once again, if I'm dropping off or picking up, and she is there, I say Hello. and leave.
2007-05-09 19:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that she has no right trying to undermine you as your children's mother. They are not her children, she isn't even related to them (not their step mother even) Tell him that either HE takes care of the problem or your lawyer will, you CAN take her to court if she doesn't back off.
2007-05-09 19:29:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you ex the kids are between you and him, and you have no business dealing with his girlfriend.
2007-05-09 19:00:09 · answer #7 · answered by marisanj 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if she chooses to be a moron you don't have to deal with it at all. tell your ex to leave her at home when he comes to get the kids and that she isn't welcome at your place.
2007-05-09 19:09:11 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be more overbearing than she is.
2007-05-09 19:02:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋