I was molested as a child. I called the police, I started to court procedings and the family was so agry with me I dropped the charges. Now it is about 15 yrs later and my 11 year old daughter said it happened to her, by the same realtive who violated me. The police were called and he is facing life in prison and it feels like my family is rejecting us. All I keep hearing is when are you going to get him out of jail.
2007-05-09 11:11:41 · 25 answers · asked by cmariem 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If anyone knows or suspects a child is being abused in any way it is the law that they contact the police or child protective services. Because your family pressured you years ago instead of supporting you this man was left to continue molesting children. By calling the police you did the right thing. If the family doesnt understand it, then do you really want them around your daughter because they will only treat her like they did you and make her feel guilty. Under no circumstances do you let them talk you into helping this man get out of jail by having your daughter recant her story. Stick by her and support her 100%. It is bad enuf when a child is violated, but to then have family turn on her is like being violated again. You should also get her into some counseling.
2007-05-09 11:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you did the right thing by calling the police. It sounds like your family is just in denial. This isn't the first time I heard about one person putting a family member in jail for something major (molestation, assault, etc) and the rest of the family getting upset at the VICTIM. If they do believe he has committed these crimes, they probably think it can be fixed within the family and without outsiders being involved (maybe they're embarrassed?). Wrong! Your family needs to understand that denying it won't make it untrue, and that getting him out of jail won't solve anything, which is evident by the fact that 15 years later he's repeated his crimes. If they don't understand that, ignore them (as difficult as that will be) until they stop ignoring the truth and accept what has happened.
And the people sitting here placing blame on her make me sick. You don't know the whole situation. What if she truly believed it wouldn't happen again because he's family? What if she didn't even know he was around her daughter (the family seemed to be in denial the first time, so it's possible she left her child with one family member when "he" showed up)? I'm sure she feels bad enough for being pressured to drop the charges the first time (she shouldn't have, but she had gone through a lot and the last thing she needed was her family to be against her), don't make it any harder on her.
2007-05-09 11:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by Ambrosia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You CALL the police and put his sorry BUTT in jail. He has molested your daughter and I wouldn't give a rat's behind what your relatives think about calling the police on him. It is not up to you to do anything, let the police and whoever else is involved with the court handle the situation.
The one good thing now is they would never let you drop the charges as this are so different now. At least you have the opportunity to see him behind bars. Who knows how many children this relative has molested since he molested you 15 years ago. I am sure there were many in-between.
DON'T back down as you are fighting on behalf of your daughter.
2007-05-09 11:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did your duty as a law abiding citizen. It is nothing but a shame that the legal system lets us down in so many ways. If it feels like your family is rejecting you keep this in mind.....You were violated as a child. Innocence was lost. Your God given duty is to protect your child. This person have invaded you and your child. How many others has he violated that you do not know about? How many others could he violate if he returns to society. You are doing the most wonderful thing in the world by standing your ground now that you are stronger. Thank you for protecting potential victims from this monster!!!!
2007-05-09 11:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by Ask me n e thing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was molested by 2 different family members as a child and a preteen. I never had the courage to tell anyone, so I applaud you and your daughter. If you don't follow through,...it will be the neighbors kids,other relatives, and eventually your grandchildren. I know that it will be hard,...but press on. Your family is horrible for not supporting you, or at the VERY least, keeping out of it. My thoughts will be with you and your daughter.......
2007-05-09 11:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy_Woman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you always call the police, once an molester, always a molestor.
How horrible that your child is going through this, and that your family is so cold! I'd tell them to all go to hell. And the offender can lead the way.
I'd also break off any connection to this "family" they're like poison. You'll be better off without family like this. They sound totally disfunctional.
2007-05-09 11:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by tottpaula 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes! You did the right thing.
Maybe it feels bad the the family seems to be rejecting you. But your feeling for having done the right thing will outweigh the bad. Its a shame that your family is reacting this way, however a molester in the family is a hard thing to deal with. Courage, you have done the right thing for past and likely future victims.Sometimes the right thing is hard, but it is always the right thing.
2007-05-09 11:15:21 · answer #7 · answered by Bright Shadow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't pick your family. But you did the right thing! Screw what the rest of the family says!!!! You are protecting your daughter from a freak! I hope in time you family will see the error in there judgment, but don't count on it. You did a good thing by putting him away. I hope you and your daughter sleep better a night now.
Good luck!
2007-05-09 11:23:48 · answer #8 · answered by joeysdudes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lily is an idiot you don't owe that relative nothing if the family wants to see that member then they can visit him in prison this person betrayed your trust not once but twice. look out for your daughter and don't drop the case. child molesters are always repeat offenders, who is next?
2007-05-09 11:21:12 · answer #9 · answered by BigBlack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he deserves to be in jail..u should try to get ur case reopened and make sure u tell ur daughter that she did the right thing by calling the police...now he cant hurt another child or relative again
2007-05-09 11:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋