this girl i know has more in common with me that anyone i have ever met. she know my soon to be ex-wife and they are going to continue to hang out, but she is better friends w/ me. she has been over to my house and i cooked her favorite food: steak and had red wine. we talk on the phone every night till the batteries go dead. she isn't seeing anyone, nor am i. she hasn't seen anyone for 5 months. the chemistry is there alright, but she insists that she just wants to be friends, so there isn't hand holding even. she says that she doesn't wnat a relationship to close her off from other friendships and if she has a relationship with me, she will only meet my frinds and if it doesn't work out, then all my friends wouldn't be her friends anymore. i explained the prob is i can't help developing feelings from all this time together and i'll fall in love and she's breaking my heart. if i make myself somewhat hard to get a hold of, think she'll miss me to the point that she'll change her mind?
2007-05-09 10:55:34 · 16 answers · asked by jon n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
it's too hard to be her friend and i've told her how i feel and that i'll always be her friend because i just like spending time together, but i'm falling in love and this friend thing is tearing me apart
2007-05-09 11:13:17 · update #1
It's actually preferrable for guys to play hard to get - in the sense that you need to NOT CARE whether she's interested or not because you HAVE OPTIONS.
M
2007-05-09 10:59:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
As much as I hate to admit this being a woman and hate playing the game. Test the waters, try turning away and not give her the spotlight so much. If she see's that your not completely focusing on her any more it could change. But if it doesn't than she really means what she is saying. But remember, she may not be that into you as you are into her and she is trying to be nice about it, but it is only because she does like/ and care for you as a friend and she doesn't want to loose that. And some women are happy with the attention they get from a male companion with out the commentment or the intimacy. Because some woman know that once they committ there is that possibility all that would be gone.
"Only a one woman's point of view"
2007-05-09 11:30:42 · answer #2 · answered by twnmsk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats wiv the games? its a pretty lame excuse shes given u about ur friends not being her friends why do people think that being with someone means they stop having other friendship?? its childish and deep down she knows it..we all try to hide are insecurity's..wiv every new relationship there are risks...sum people just need alittle more reassurence to know that there able to trust..sometimes time can be the only game to play..tell her how you feel..tell her that you'd be a fool to let the opportunity pass but dont make it sound like she has to choose..in the end you'll only lose.. if you truly love her then you'll wait... enjoy the time you do spend together... after all true friends dont come along very often...
2007-05-09 11:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, anytime that you are "playing" anything you are wasting your time. Do you want her to like you for you or not? If you do then be yourself. Talk to her the way that you feel comfortable doing so and don't try to impliment any tricks to get her. If she doesn't want you then move on. You can't live your life avoiding things because you don't want to be rejected. Just realize that it wasn't meant to be and move to the next thing. Even when women play "hard to get" it's childish and a waste of time in my opinion. I would never waste a second more than I had to talking to someone like that.
2007-05-09 11:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are usually the "chasers," but it sounds like you've chased this woman long enough. It seems to me like she's taking advantage of your feelings for her; maybe if you distance yourself a bit, she'll understand that a relationship with you is the way to go. You sound like a sweet guy. I think she's going to realize she's making a mistake, when you're not around all the time, "as her friend." She's going to miss you.
2007-05-09 11:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by autumnstarsong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is doing the right thing in not dating you. Now she needs to stop hanging out with you all together. Playing your silly high school game is not going to get her to change her mind. The rule is.. you don't date your friends ex husband.
2007-05-09 11:00:14 · answer #6 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mate, i think maybe YOU should play hard to get with her, you sound so available to her. Dont call her all the time, make her come to you, and then i dare say she will miss you, and something might develop. And every now & then if she wants to do something say no, you already have plans, even if you dont.
2007-05-09 11:04:38 · answer #7 · answered by StevieMo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say that yes i guy can play hard to get but don't play too hard to get because she may move on.. and if you want her tell her how you feel about her and make sure she gets it and if she feels the same way you two where meet to be
2007-05-09 11:01:22 · answer #8 · answered by bowwowrealgirl32 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be waiting for your divorce to be final. Remain friends for the time being. Let her be the one that calls YOU. Don't chase her and act like a friend for the time being. If, after your divorce her behavior changes to a more intimate behavior, then go for it.
2007-05-09 11:02:58 · answer #9 · answered by Renegade 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well. guys do play hard to get and sometimes its a good thing. but then again it is really annoyin becuase girls can tell that you are playing "hard to get" but then again. it mght be worse if you tell her becuase she might not have the same feelings and then completely ignore you. so i suggest to see if she has the same feelings before telling her.
2007-05-09 11:00:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋