I feel like I'm constantly trying to please my wife. I'm always trying to make her laugh, cater to her, and pay her all this attention, but most of the time, she acts completely aloof towards me as if to say "keep trying." It's led to all sorts of problems (most of which she's probably not aware of), but I've told her on a few occasions that I feel like a sap. i feel like a small dog jumping up and down around a bigger dog trying to get the bigger dog's attention. The bigger dog acknowledges the little dog every so often...just enough to keep it trying, but ignores it the rest of the time. Now it's not THIS bad, but its' pretty close.
And when I'm not "bouncing around her trying to get her attention" she asks me what's wrong, then SHE'LL start to cater to ME.
The bottom line is I don't want ot have to be an a s s h o l e to get my wife to pay attention or be nice to me.
What can I do here?
2007-05-09 10:28:48 · 11 answers · asked by Shawn L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think when a husband does not take charge of things, a wife will assume the position. Women are being raised differently then they have in the past because they need to be able to take care of themselves and their children.
Even if they have a husband and everything is fine, they still have to be prepared the 3 D's. Which is death, divorce, desertion.
I don't think you should feel like your wife's lap dog. In fact, you should be happy you do not have a clueless and lost wife.
Trust me, she loves you. And if you have daughters, trust me, you will want them to be just like their strong mother.
2007-05-09 10:55:48 · answer #1 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, is this my husband!!! LOL. Wow, I guess I am not the only control freak. From a controlling wife's point of view, I can tell you that there are thresholds in marriage that are sometimes crossed. I know I started treating my husband like my child when he crossed one of my thresholds, and we are going to counseling now because all that did was make him want to have an affair. It's kid of a lose/lose situation if the communication does not get better. You have to understand that for every effect there is a cause. Really think, what is the cause for her to act like the alpha dog?
2007-05-09 17:36:54 · answer #2 · answered by Confusious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to politely ask your wife for your balls back. Then stop trying to get her attention! Your going to push her away with your actions! It's not going to be easy to change the way your acting. But when you first feel the urge to be sappy. STOP! Go outside! Go to the garage and do something else! She'll start to notice the changes in you and then things will be on a more level field.
Good luck!
2007-05-09 17:38:15 · answer #3 · answered by joeysdudes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You continue to do what seems to work and she takes it. Don't know it's anybody fault.
Some of it has to do with confidence, or lack of it. If you have a lot of accomplishments in your life (career and others), your confidence will not allow you to be a small dog all the time and your demeanors will show that.
Look inside you and what do you see? A person lack of confidence and accomplishments or the opposite?
2007-05-09 17:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel, and tell her that you are going to stop doing this. I used to do this to my husband, when he would finish a beer, i would get him another one, when he was done eating, i would grab his plate and wash it, i would rub his back for him to fall asleep, i mean i worked 8 hours a day, came home from work, cooked, cleaned the kitchen, had sex when i didn't feel like it. You just have to stop and let her do it to you. Tell her exactly what you are telling us. Then tell her what the solution is. Tell her what you are going to do. Sounds like she had no control what so ever in her life.
2007-05-09 17:37:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So stop trying to get her attention or approval.
Go out and find a hobby. Stop making yourself so available then maybe she'll realize how she's been taking you for granted.
2007-05-09 17:37:13 · answer #6 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL BE THE MAN GOD MADE U TO B STAND UP TO HER YOU ARE SUPOSE TO B THE HEAD OF YOUR HOUSE NOW THAT DOESNT MEAN TO BE DOMANERING OR A CONTROL FREAK BUT IT DOES MINE SHE OWE U RESPECT AND SHOULD PUT U FIRST IN ALL SHE DOES READ EPHESINS 5 ;22-33 IT TELL US THE ROLE OF A WIFE AND A HUSBAND AS GOD INTENDED BE A MAN YOULL BOTH FILL BETTER
2007-05-09 18:24:11 · answer #7 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop it. Maybe it's more annoying to have you all over her all the time. And it would seem from what you said that if you aren't doing everything for her that she actually wants to do things for you. Problem solved.
2007-05-09 17:50:11 · answer #8 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her your evil sexy face, then give her pleasure.
2007-05-09 17:36:06 · answer #9 · answered by kimberly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop
2007-05-09 17:33:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋