I am 28 and I have been w/ only one woman who is now my wife. We have two children, both boys. Sometimes I feel that I blame them for everything wrong in my life. Like if i wasn't married or have kids I could go do what I want with my life and relly be happy. I am stuck in a marriage I don't like and I don't want to pay child support or alamony. Everytime I bring this up w/ my wife she yells at me. I wish I could work it out, but mostly I dont care. I want to find someone else to be with, but I am afraid of the legal ramifications. What do I do?
2007-05-09 10:28:28 · 13 answers · asked by ibyt2692 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To answer the question of why I got married. Well the reason is lost now. Its the same as why I joined the Army. I wanted to make my parents proud of me and do something good through there eyes. My father is dead now. And my mom remarried. I have had counceling. And I see a psychiatrist reguarlly, for depression and suicidal thaughts.
2007-05-09 10:50:54 · update #1
For the person that said I had a chance to do things. Well I didn't, my parents didnt let me do anything. It was straight home from school do homework, cut wood then go to bed every day till I left for the Army after graduation. I got married at 19.
2007-05-09 11:53:02 · update #2
either u stay and try to work it out or leave. when u leave you will have to pay, that's the way it is.
2007-05-09 10:35:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is some bull! You are a little late in the game to be calling FOUL! I have had some selfish moments in my life, but you are taking this to the extreme. You need to stick this out. If the feeling doesn't pass you still need to stick it out. Love has nothing to do with it. You signed a binding contract to be there for them. You had a choice before you made the commitment to them. If you were on your death bed would you want her to abandon you? If you don't stick it out and turn rabbit on your family, well the judge should triple whatever she asks for. And even if he does, bear in mind that would still be no replacement for you actually being there. I am very pro-family except for the harshest possible circumstances. You should seek a mentor. Someone that has been in a marriage and made it work. This country is blowing the crap out of family values. I really hate to see anyone blow the chance of a lifetime. I had a chance once, just like you, to go and do whatever it was that I wanted to and whenever I wanted to before I was married. When you start a family, you don't have that option any longer. You have to do things different. You are responsible for their very lives. And I will tell you one last thing, if you aren't happy now you WILL NOT be any happier without them. I strongly encourage you to stay. Unless there is physical abuse or something more dire you aren't telling.
2007-05-09 11:44:29 · answer #2 · answered by Dad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no choices that don't include legal ramifications. You are married and have children. You will always be financially responsible for your boys. Why did you get married in the first place? Are there positive things you could focus on instead of "could have beens"? You might benefit from marriage counseling. STOP telling your wife you blame her and the children for you being miserable. You made choices and now you have to deal with the consequences of those choices. Good luck.
2007-05-09 10:37:32 · answer #3 · answered by MommyB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what you've said, you aren't happy with your marriage. If you are not willing to work things out with your wife and you divorce her, your financial responsibility is to your children and you can't avoid paying child support for them. It may actually be enforceable by law depending on where you live. If you think you can work things out with her, then seek marriage counseling asap. Regardless, stay true to yourself and remember that your role as a father is very important in the lives of your children no matter what happens between you and their mom.
2007-05-09 10:36:18 · answer #4 · answered by monica_au04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man you have to pay for your children if you split up. ask yourself this question do you love your wife? if you do then you should try to work things out with her seek marriage counseling or whatever you have to do to make it work. If you do not love her anymore then you should stop wasting both of your time and make it as easy as possible for her, remember she did not ask for this. talk about child support and what you are going to do to help her and your children if it comes to that it is always easier if you can decide on everything before you have to go to court. make sure the children know it is not because of them children often take things wrong. hope this helped, and good luck to you
2007-05-09 10:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by heather 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really blame your wife and family for your misery since you have so many mental malfunctions going on, it's scary. It's good you are in therapy but I would look at finding a new therapist since you haven't progressed. You don't want to accept responsibility for anything that you do. It's so much easier to put that on others but the glaring fact is you have two sons who need their dad and to say that you wouldn't want to continue to support them is pathetic. You need a lot more help.
2007-05-09 10:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of how you feel about your wife please dont lay the blame on your kids shoulders. Whether you stay and sort things out or leave to start a new life, keep your 2 boys your number one priority. Paying child support should be something that you would voluntry want to do to ensure they have everything they need in life. You dont have to be a husband anymore, but please still be a dad.
2007-05-09 10:41:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what I have read, you have no intention of working things out. How can you work things out with a woman you no longer love?
You need to be a man and take care of your kids and get a divorce. Child support is nothing compared to years wasted being with someone you don't love!
2007-05-09 10:54:25 · answer #8 · answered by Lenka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get a set and leave. You don't tell your wife that you don't like being married to her. You support your children no matter what.
If you truly want to leave then you're doing no favors by staying. I know it's easier said than done (going through it right now), but really you need to do something.
2007-05-09 10:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by jade j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your marriage you are unhappy with. You are unhappy with yourself. Work with your psychiatrist on your depression issues. Leaving your family will not make your happier; it may in fact make you more depressed. You should not make a major life decision in your condition. I wish you well.
2007-05-09 10:56:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋