Hurt....??????

Question

So, recently I've become terribly anorexic. And I'm in love with a gay man. [Yes, I'm a girl.] And he doesn't understand how much it hurts me, just to hear him say things about other men. And yesterday he kissed me. Yeah, he KISSED me. And then he was like "I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm gay. I can't." And he freaked out and won't talk to me anymore.

Why do I like gay men so much? I need to just. Stop.
And I just can't deal with this.
I guess this isn't really a question. I don't know.
Help?

Answer 1

I am truly sorry to hear of your pain. He is gay and not capable of loving a woman in the way you want.
Stop torturing yourself. I am concerned about the anorexia. You really need to eat healthfully to maintain weight. There are many who would love to help you.
I am sitting here wondering what happened to you to make you hate yourself so much. I am wondering why you feel so unloveable, why you feel that punishing yourself will accomplish.
I wish I could give you a big hug, and tell you that you are special and important. That loving yourself is so important in this life, valuing yourself and respecting yourself and your body.
My thoughts on this are rather simplistic, but I have seen it before. It is easy to fall in love with a man you know will never love and accept you for who you are, because you do not love yourself. I know it hurts to think you could be doing this to yourself, but it needs to be said. You love gay men because you know they will never love and accept you. Which tells me that you have not been loved, or accepted, and that is why you seek out men who will not be sexually attracted to you. Possible sexual abuse in your history? This is a valid reason for self deprivation of love and harming ones self.
I will pray for you. I know things seem impossible right now, but you have control of your life, and your emotions. I think you should seek help from a professional to help with these issues, as self help can be great...in circumstances like these you should see a professional. Here is a national hotline, and some info that may help locate a professional who cares.
Blessings Spirituality does help

Answer 2

First of all.....you must have some sort of issue with challenges, or wanting what you can't have. It is almost more safe at times to go after someone or something you know you can't have because, usually you do not feel the pain of rejection...your mind already know it will not work out. I am afraid that you got caught up in this friendship of yous and let it get out of hand...as far as your heart goes. For that I am sorry. Mean while , what I see as a far more important issue....anorexia. You need to seek medical help. If you are deep enough into this disease...you need help. Please take the time to seek help.....your life could be on the line.I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

I don't know you, so this is just a guess...

both your anorexia and attraction to gay men could both by symptoms of something else, perhaps (1) an extreme dislike of something about yourself or (2) some buried emotional scar; both could be efforts by your subconciousness to sabotage yourself until these issues are dealt with.

I'd advise counselling. If you can't afford that, asj your city/county gov't mental heath department - they may offer or know of low-cost services. If oyu are a student, your school may have an on-staff counsellor. If not, contact a clergy member.

Answer 4

You are drawn to the caristics in a gay man. But you probably need to see a counselor, because no one on here can tell you how to feel and really help you with this. You should see a professional.

Answer 5

Sorry to tell that guy...if that kiss was spontaneous, then he AT VERY LEAST has some heterosexual tendencies.

Fact is quite simple...GAY IS A CHOICE! If he chooses to be straight, he will.

As for you, drop him until he is no longer confused about what he has and where it goes. It is a confusion, not a born trait. Maybe he gets his mind straight, maybe not...in the mean time, you could very well be missing out on Mr. Right while waiting on Mr. Confused.

Answer 6

Honey, he's the one that is confused not you!!! and he certainly does not deserve you, don't hurt yourself because this person won't reciprocate your feelings! You deserve to be happy and get from a relationship what you give to it. Forget about him and FOCUS on YOURSELF! start by eating healthy and doing the things that you enjoy, hang out with good friends and family and surround yourself with all the beauty that is in the world, and things WILL get better! God Bless and keep goin, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Answer 7

To truly be able to help you with this situation I might need some more info. I am currently a senior psychology major, so I am hoping I can help a little. Has this man been gay since he was really young? Has he been your friend for a long time?

It sounds like he might be just as confused as you are. I believe a lot of girls like guys they know they have no chance with because subconciously they aren't ready for a serious relationship. You have to love yourself to be able to be ready for love. I'm sure you like gay men because they are good dressers, fun to be around, and sensitive to women's emotions. There is nothing wrong with liking them and wanting to be around them, but falling in love with them is a recipe for hurt. Your comment about his comments about other men hurting you is totally normal. I get hurt when anybody I like talks about someone else they like in front of me. If he knows you like him as more than a friend, it is disrespectful for him to talk about that in front of you. He might just be trying to show you that he isn't ready to be with a girl. Let me know if you like my advice and I will give you more. You can also give me more details if you'd like.

Answer 8

You probably like gay men because they are honest towards you. You should pursue at least a friendship. Maybe he does like you and is straight/bi-curious. He will always like men but if you can deal with that you will probably have a great relationship. PS eat some food. it is good for you,.

Answer 9

Sweetheart.... It isn't you.... It's him. He really can not help it. This is the way he was born.

Have him as a friend. A friend like no other. But move on romantically. There are heterosexual men out there that will be happy to be there for just you.

Please do not punish yourself and do not feel hurt......

Answer 10

Sounds like you may have low self esteem.
You go after what you know you can have. And set your self up
to be disappointed.

Help your self, by learning to be more Sucre in who you are.
Before looking for a boyfriend or mate.
God bless,
Olivia