Does this married woman have hidden motives?

Question

Ok there is this lady at my church that I have known for about 8-10 years. I am a very quiet person and whenever church is over with I speak to whoever is n my path and leave. I don't stick around. Now when I first started going to the church I use to look at her then look the other way b/c she is attractive. There has been times that she has caught me looking at her and she just smiles, and there have been times that she will walk in and she happily speaks to me as she is going to her seat but not to anyone else.As time went by we began to speak to each other each time we meet. Each time we talk I act myself and I always seem to make her laugh and smile . In 2005 I took a break from school and have been n birmingham for about 2 years and I told her that I would b going back to savannah on June 15. Once I told her that I plan on leaving b'ham in the middle of june she started smiling, became very enthusiatic and started encouraging me and ect. then all of a sudden she said "let me give you my cell number " . As she was about to give me her number she paused b/c her oldest sister came around the corner and asked her where they were having dinner, therefor I stepped back so it wouldn't look like I was being nosy. Her sis was trying c if she what they were having and if she needed to bring something and she was like " just meet me over moms house" and her sister was like "ok I will c u at moms house".At the same time I was trying to slowly leave b/c I picked up my Bible and as if I was about to leave, but she started talking to me again. That's when she was like, "let me give you my cell b/c I wan to you to call and keep in touch with each other and I am going to b checking in with you so we can stay on top on this." When she said that I pulled out my cell phone, but she was like "do you have a piece of paper" therefor I pulled out the church bulletin and she wrote her name and cell # one it. Each time we talk I call her Mrs. so and so, but this time she just wrote her name without the Mrs on it. (example Mrs. Ann, Ann). I wonder if she did that b/c other church members were around. What is so mind boggling is that her husband is n the military and he rarely, rarely comes home. I have never seen them together, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been home,she has a daughter that is 5-6 years younger than me that is n college. Once I ended the conversation I told her that I wouldn't b at church the next week, but I would give her a call at the end of the week to let her know how things are shaping up and she was like " that's fine, make sure you call". What's so mind boggling is you giving me your cell # and you have a husband ( SHE IS MARRIED) ? why didn't you give me the house #, why did you rush your sis off, why did you wait until you daughter left to do all of this and when i pulled out my cell phone out of my pocket why did you ask for a piece of paper and why did you stress that I call you? Keep in mind that I am a 25 year old MAN. It's no her responsibility to get me back in college; it's mine. So what do you think she is trying to do and how can I find out her motives. My friends said I should call her and ask her out? someone please help. Feel free to e-mail me

Answer 1

Why would you even consider asking out a military wife. Her husband is over seas fighting for our country and cant be home and you wanna step in and ruin his marrage??? I think you should back off and find someone single!!!!

Answer 2

First off this is too long of a question................


But since you go to church you know that adultery is a sin, so no you should not ask her out.

You will see her motives once you talk to her a few times on the phone. She may just be genuinely concerned about you as a friend, and I'm assuming as a young black male.

Don't read to much into it because she may mean nothing by her gestures and you could lose out on a friendship. She may be lonely because her husband is away but that is no reason to take advantage of her vulnerablity.

Just talk to her and I'm sure you will know where she is trying to go with your relationship very soon. Just don't cross the line, God doesn't like that!

God Bless

Answer 3

Well, that's a lot of detail, but from what you've written I think it's hard to say what this woman is thinking.

Firstly, no, you shouldn't ask her out because she'll say no. Married women don't go on dates even if their husbands are away.

Secondly, if you think she likes you, she probably does. But before you get carried away, wait a sec! It may be hard for her to totally avoid showing she likes you, but that doesn't mean she would ever do anything about it. Talk to her about herself, get to know her a bit. And then ask about her husband. You'll soon find out if their relationship is close.

Thirdly, if you must, show her that you like her too. But that's it. You can call her, talk to her, smile at her, and drink coffee with her... but unless you suddenly realise that she's your soulmate and the only woman in the world who can make you happy, STEER CLEAR! Getting involved with a married person usually makes you (and a lot of other people) unhappy. It's exciting, but not worth it unless it's a lot, lot more than an idle thrill.

Keep looking out for a girl you can be yourself with... but one who's all yours! It will be much better in the end.

Answer 4

First of all be careful, I don't think that there is an answer to this situation. She could be trying to be the mother figure, she could be lonely and just want some company or conversation since her husband is away a lot or she could be having other thoughts. Keep your eyes and ears open and be her friend until she lets you know, without a doubt, that she wants to be more than friends

Answer 5

If you ask her out your asking her to cheat. Are you sure this is what she wants and all these things that happened aren't really that big a deal once you say them. I think you are reading too much into the friendship of a lonely woman!

Answer 6

Poor thing is lonenly. She is still married. Remind her of that. Don't be a cad and take advantage. Stop talking to her and advise her to get help or do something else if she is unhappy.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like she is just trying to be a good friend and a good christian.We are all suppose to care for one another.I think you are reading way too much into this.If you really want to know what her motives are ask her.

Answer 8

okay now you said you met this woman at church? so you know becoming involved with a married woman is a sin right? i'm not even religious and i know this! move on!

Answer 9

Seems to me that your personal "Spidey Senses" are working very well. Now it remains to be seen if your personal sense of "Ethics" functions equally well.