Why do people do this to first time moms?

Question

Why is it that people find the need to tell you how awful life will be once the baby is born.

I am so sick of people saying...you'll never get any sleep. Just wait...you're in for it etc. Or they give me examples of what their kids did and say....see what you have to look forward to.

People are awful. I get so offended when they say things like that.

I usually come back and say...if parenthood is that awful then why did you have more than one??? They never seem to have a response to that.

I realize my life will change...I'd be dumb if I thought it would remain the same. But- why do people think it's necessary to say how awful it will be post-baby. They never talk about the good things.

Answer 1

I don't know why they do it either. Granted, that some of it is true. Your life does change drastically and you do lose a lot of sleep. But when you look into those little baby eyes...you forget about the things that you are "missing out on". I don't think that life is at all awful now that I am a mom. It is hectic and crazy at times, but you know that it is going to be before you even get pregnant :-)

Answer 2

To put it simply, misery loves company. Not that being a parent is miserable, it is actually the best thing that ever happened to me, but people just want to say things like that to show that they aren't the only one who has it rough sometimes. Everything, no matter what it is, has good and bad sides. Parenthood isn't a bed of roses, but I love my kids more than anything else in this world. They are far from perfect angels sometimes, but other times they are so good or so fun that there is nowhere else I'd rather be. If you raise your child in the best way you know how and not let it run over you, your great times will far outweigh the not so great. Next time someone says that tell them "I'm so sorry you feel that way, but I am overjoyed about being pregnant and I can't wait until he/she gets here!" with a big smile on your face. Congrats & good luck!

Answer 3

Don't be offended by people. If it's your friends and family, they love you. Most people tell stories of their kids with humor in their hearts. As for the you not getting any sleep after the babies born, believe it. Unless you are strangely blessed, you'll be up ALOT! But after your bundle is sleeping thru the night, you'll hardly remember the how hard it was. Kids have a way of showing us how much sleep we can do without, and still function. Good luck with your new life, it's worth every moment!

Answer 4

It might have something to do with how kids are portrayed on TV. Check out how soap operas do it - the kids are complete angels most of the time, babies rarely cry, mom still looks like a model 2 days after giving birth. I think people see movies and TV programs and really think that the fantasy will come true - "MY child will never cry like the ones I see screaming in the market..." Then when reality sets in, they feel the need to share with every new mom they come across!

Answer 5

Good for you! I don't know why people do that! It's really unfair and they always forget to mention the good bits like how amazing and rewarding motherhood is. No one is under the illusion that being a mother is really easy but its not all that difficult either. To say you'll "never" get any sleep is total nonsense, all of my children slept through the night from 4weeks old!
Don't be put off, being a mother is the greatest gift in the world-including the more challenging bits!!! :0)

Answer 6

I agree with most everyone on here...You will understand when you are a mom. Your life changes..duh. But no matter how much someone tells you this you will still be shocked when you have your own. The very beginning really sucks (well it did for me..I had twins with Colic and gastric reflux. I literally NEVER slept for the first 3 months) but it gets better...dont worry what people say. Motherhood is the greatest blessing..even though it can be a real pain sometimes!

Answer 7

The negativity of some parents today is sad. We've heard things like that also, and while our kids aren't perfect... and some nights when they are sick or something we don't get much sleep (especially my wife), but we weren't so naive not to expect that sort of thing either. We've also heard people whine and cry about having their kids in sports... all the games, practices, equipment and such they have to buy. I have two playing baseball this year, I've never been more proud or had more fun in my life.

Answer 8

People did the same thing to me...It is true you're life does change but it's not at all AWFUL....yeah you get no sleep for awhile but it is all worth it to just look down at that beautiful lil baby.. I was exhausted but I loved it..I loved the feeling of being a mommy. so just don't listen to them cuz you're life is not going to be awful after having a baby it is WONDERFUL!!!

Answer 9

I could see if it is your mom or close friend, but do you mean people off the street? I'd tell them "sorry you had to go through that..." and change the subject. That is just not minding their own business and being rude (like touching your belly without asking!)

When I was working with my first one, I had one lady (whom I saw at work every few months) just say: Good Luck. Not joking, or in a loving way....just with regret. In front of her three kids. I don't think she was crazy about motherhood.

Answer 10

i feel the same way i am 8 months pregnant and a first time mommy however i raised my cousinns two but anyways i hate when people say this. also when they see u eating something or drinking it and say something like u shouldnt be having that or some other retarded line.one other thing people do that drives me nuts is we all know what u have been doing ,whatever what is it to them. when u find an answer let me know because im in the same boat with ya. well congrads on your baby !!!