I think my husband needs help. He is so insensitive. I say hunny please put the toilet seat down when you are done.....he says ok babe.....but he WON'T do it.....When I say hunny please rinse the sink out after you shave, he says ok babe......but again he NEVER does it......Hunny please don't feed the dog out of OUR dishes, rake it out in his bowl if you want to give him the scraps, I dont want to eat out of dishes the dog ate out of, he says ok baby, I understand.......but 1/2 my dishes are in the dog pen.....I am going to divorce him.....I don't think I can give him anymore chances.....Advice please????
2007-05-09 07:27:04 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, let me add a few things.....I don't sweat the small stuff.....but I am tired.....I work 2 full time jobs....anywhere from 80 to 90 hours a week and we have an 18 month old daughter.....he is a stay at home dad and does odd and end jobs here and there.....maybe those are just little things but when you work the hours I do and cook dinner and make time for our baby girl I have no time left in my day for anything else......I doubt I would really divorce him over these things but I sure feel like it sometimes....He likes spending the money I earn, at least he can fix a few things!
2007-05-09 08:03:17 · update #1
Girl pick your battles, if you love him don't leave him for those kinds of things. Almost every man do something like what he is doing. But I would beat his *** about that dog thing.
2007-05-09 07:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by lovebug23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sharon, relax. Now obviously your husband didn't just magically begin to be this way. He was like that when you married him - for better or worse - so why divorce him for it now? What you do is STOP nagging him about it. If he leaves the toilet up, either put it down or squat and leave it up. If he shaves and leaves hair in the sink, leave the hair there, if he gives the dog your dish, leave it there and don't buy new ones. If you are anything like me, it will KILL you not to say or do anything, but if you want him to stop you will have to do this. When the toilet stinks and the sink clogs from hair, there's no dishes which means you don't have to cook - he'll get the idea. When the behavior changes back to "normal" then you start doing your wifely duties again. You are not a maid, and it's not your job to "mother" him. If you get tired of the house being a mess, start hanging out with your girlfriends more - eat dinner out. If you have children take them with you. He'll begin to think "WTF" and if he asks you about it, recount all the times you've asked him to put the seat down, clean the hair and stop giving the dog plates. If that doesn't work, try counseling because he's either blatantly ignoring you and trying to aggravate you or he's seriously learning disabled. Good luck.
2007-05-09 14:38:01 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I honestly cant believe that many women are taking the mans side. While I think divorce is a little over the edge a man has hands. He can put down his toilet seat and clean out the sink. I have been with my husband for 4 years He has never once left the toilet seat up, he has never not washed out the sink, and he complains about dishes! He wasn't raised that way he just has respect for his wife. I think that you need to tell your husband to do what he needs to do. It's ridiculous that you have to put up with this but I hear that Iron skillets work well ;)
2007-05-09 14:53:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think he is being "insensitive' in a way that usually drive woman to divorce.
In fact what he did shouldnt be taken so much like a trouble or big problem at all. Its not a problem anyway. It is just some inconvenience. Well ...life is so full of inconvenience. You have to learn to separate inconvenience and real problems. If not you will never find happiness & there will never be a right man for you.
People divorce for a more critical & hurtful reason. I wonder how long have you been married & if you have any children at all.
I think you are a perfectionist or something like that. It would be more appropriate to apply that quality in your career or business & add more toleration & acceptance in the house.
Take it easy. Probably he is just ....forgetful.
2007-05-09 14:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by MelissaMy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH, I thought you were divorcing him because he had an affair.
Just so you know, the natural position of the toilet seat is UP, not down, because the designer of the toilet seat was a man and a good friend of mine; he told me women got it wrong.
My wife used to let our 2 dogs eat out of the dishes and said the washer would clean it out anyway. This is one of those WEIRD things in each home but no drastic action is called for. You can get rid of the dogs if you wish.
2007-05-09 14:42:55 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy? You want to divorce him for that? You don't know how good you have it. What's the big deal if he leaves the toilet seat up? Just put the damn thing down yourself!!!! It's not a big freekin deal if he doesn't rinse the sink. It wont kill you to rinse it for him. About the dishes, get some plastic dishes. I can see if you said "My husband is lazy and refuses to work" That would be different. If you want someone so neat, get a woman. This is how men act. Get used to it. Be glad that he's not cheating. Women always love have to have controversy in their lives. If there's nothing wrong in a marriage, they'll find something wrong!!!
2007-05-09 14:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by #1 Monkey Minion 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Alot of men are just that way and you need to pick your battles. My mom alway taught me not to sweat the small stuff. Is he a good man, a good provider, a good father. Does he cheat or gamble or do drugs. I think if you divorce over a toilet seat being up then you just really dont understand the sanctity of marriage
2007-05-09 14:35:40 · answer #7 · answered by pickletbug 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Insensitive??
since when are those nagging complaints part of one being insensitive??
I say go ahead with the divorce you'd be doing YOUR HUSBAND a favor by not having to put up with a woman who thinks insensitivity is not putting the toilet seat down.
Think for a minute about the things you do that might bug him or annoy him......would that classify YOU as insensitive??
It seems to me you just like complaining about these little things and making him out to be a bad guy......tsk,tsk,tsk
2007-05-09 14:35:35 · answer #8 · answered by cal_gal_81 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that it feels that because he doesn't listen or remember to do what you ask you feel as if you the person are invisible and don't exist to him other than for the purposes of food and sex and cleaning! That's what it sounds like to me.
Why not ask him why he does what he does before you make the drastic move of divorcing him. Then if he gives an insensitive , messed up answer then you can go.
2007-05-09 14:53:55 · answer #9 · answered by Aware 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that is a easy fix.
1 Take a dump and leave it in the toilet.
2 Leave leave the sink nasty when you finish by pulling the hair out of your brush or leave your under-ware soaking in them.
3 Don't wash the dish's let them pile up outside and tell him you can't cook. No clean dishes.
2007-05-09 14:38:13 · answer #10 · answered by k man 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to stop sweating the small stuff. You're a big girl -- you can put the toilet seat down yourself. A few spots of shaving cream in the sink don't hurt anything. Dishwashers are designed to reach high enough temperatures to destroy any bacteria the dog might leave.
Three small problems = divorce? Oh, please!
I think your husband posted a question here in Marriage & Divorce awhile back -- it was, "Why is my wife such a nag????"
2007-05-09 14:34:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋