My husband had become very cold and is always on the computer. He always clears the history after he has been on it.
I think that he is cheating on me. Is there a way I can find out where he has been on the computer? Any advice would be really appreciated!:)
2007-05-09 06:36:13 · 60 answers · asked by tina c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you seen what he kind of stuff he has on his computer screen when he's on it? Is he chatting? Is he typing a lot or just staring at the screen a lot while clicking? There are two possibilities, I think... especially considering that he has become cold towards you.
Scenario 1: Nowadays, people find romance on the internet via chatrooms. Perhaps he has started an online affair. Listen for constant typing. If he's typing a lot, it probably means he's on a forum or more likely, a chatroom.
Scenario 2: Porn. He could be addicted to internet porn... porn addiction can consume a person's life. It can destroy friendships, marriages and make the person loose their job. Listen to him again... if he's quiet and isn't typing, this is probably what's going on. If you see him staring at the screen while clicking away, it's probably porn.
www.endpornaddiction.com
Firstly, I would talk to him about it. If you've already tried that without success, I'd do one of two things: get that spy program (http://www.e-spy-software.com/ or http://www.spectorsoft.com/) or set up a hidden video camera and see what he's doing. I'd check out the spy program... you can probably purchase one at Best Buy or online. Looks like they run at about $30 to $50.
You are not wrong for checking. You need to know what he's doing in order to save your marriage (if you wish to). He is doing something wrong and you deserve to know what. Even if it turns out to be nothing, he is on the computer WAY too much (from what it sounds) and ignoring you. Do what's best for YOU.
Best wishes...
2007-05-09 06:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by Cochy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I always clear my history after I am finished on the computer and I'm not cheating on anyone.
However, if you think he's cheating on you, just ask him what gives? I'm not sure I'd really want to be in a relationship with anyone I did not trust 100%. Perhaps it is time for you to take a good hard look at things and make some changes.
Good Luck
2007-05-09 06:41:16 · answer #2 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I admit it really hurt me when my husband did that. Because I KNOW what that means, pornography! Its hurtful and horrible that he does that to you. If he has respect for you and your marriage he will fess up.
Nobody clears the history every single time they close the screen. It is ok, however, to set your browser to clear the history at the end of every day, keeps the computer running smoother. I would question someone clearing it before closing the screen though.
There is tracking software out there, not too expensive. Records every keystroke and even gives you passwords! I'd consider that if he doesn't come clean. Be careful though, you might learn more than you want to know.
2007-05-09 07:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as cheating... it is posible. Yes this is just a pc, however if the person he is seeing has a pc and has email, IM; etc.... they could be corresponding that way. Clearing the history does not free up that much space and make pc run better. Clearing cookies and running scans, cleans it up and improves performance. There are several good products on the market for monitoring the pc. Do a search for parent control programs/ pc monitoring. Though do know this, if your husband has scans one pc ( mcafee, norton, aol, spysweeper,etc) these will pick up on a monitoring program installed on your pc. I have been down this road with my husband before. If you want to talk/correspond further let me know. I will be happy to help any way I can.
2007-05-09 07:10:00 · answer #4 · answered by T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save your money. Don't buy any software! A relationship - especially a marriage is ALL ABOUT COMMUNICATION!!! Honesty and trust are certainly important as well! You would be doing no favors to anyone by purchasing some method to prove your theory is correct. My recommendation is to engage in an open, honest conversation with him. Share with him that you're noticed he clears the history and what you think when he does this. Even if he may seem cold today, it was love that brought the two of you together. Take the time needed to discuss your problems, concerns, fears, etc. I wish you the very best of luck!
2007-05-09 06:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by loving father 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, if he is cheating on you, it should be more than his computer habits which have changed. There should be many clues in addition to the computer.
You could track him, although suppose you find it's child porn? Are you prepared to surrender him to the police, as it is against the law?
I always clear every place I have visited when I sign off, it's a local habit.
There are many ways to go with this, and computer experiences are very personal. Take care.
Do you really share everything, including all your computer places, or is it an "I know he is cheating, and the computer is the closest place to prove it" He's probably into child porn, or reaching out to adolescent girls.
Wish he was making a killing in the stock market, wouldn't you?
2007-05-09 06:45:48 · answer #6 · answered by Marissa Di 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is most likely looking at porn. That would be my best guess. As far as I am concerned, looking at porn is cheating, but it depends on how you feel about it. either that or he is addicted to World of Warcraft. A quick way to find out is to check his credit cards an bank account. Are there charges on there that look suspicious? A lot of Porn sites offer trials and free pictures, so there may not be a trace. Has he started to ask for more kinky or perverted stuff in bed? That is also a good indicator. Pornography can become an addiction, so it is best to stop it now before it gets worse. It can eventually lead to other things, as the need to be aroused will no longer be satisfied simply by looking at pictures or video. You could also have a parental filter installed without him knowing about it. You'll know real quick what he is up to when he gets upset that he can't get to those sites. Another thing to do would be to run virus scans and spyware scans on your computer. What most guys don't realize is that just like with cheating in the real world, looking at porn online gives you viruses.
2007-05-09 06:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by e_imommy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My fiancee always clears the history too, well not 100% of the time but usually, and he clears out his cell phone calls and messages, but he just does it because it irritates him to have a huge list of old stuff on the computer or phone...some people are just like that, so I wouldnt necessarily say that he is cheating just becaue of that,
but if there are other signs and if you gut is telling you that he is, then i'd say its worth checking up on him, pop into the room when he's on the computer and bring him a drink or a snack or something and see what he's up to
2007-05-09 06:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by Katie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is what works for me and my husband:
Tell him you want to know where he's been on the computer, and ask him to never clear the history by himself. If he fights it, there's something going on. If he's not doing anything wrong, he won't object. Tell him that you two will clear the history together to keep each other accountable. This is a first step in confronting without making an accuasation that may be wrong.
2007-05-09 06:42:44 · answer #9 · answered by Miss America 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Clearing history does not mean cheating. Your mind has wondered to that because it is what you fear. Give talking to him a shot. It is certainly better than spying.
8 out of 10 times a man is clearing history to remove the porn sites.
2007-05-09 06:46:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋