My mom passed away going on 2 years now when she passed me my 2 kids and my mother were living together my brothers would come and stay for a while and leave after several months. While they were there she would take care of them completly like feed them clothe them and give them money as well so when she passed she asked me to keep the family together. Which I have tried.In doing so I am losing my apartment because I can't pay my bills while trying to honor her request. since she has passed they won't leave they have never held a job. they are in thier early to late 40s and when they have money they never offer any for bills or anything and I can't get rid of them. Also mycousin lost her apartment last year and her her son and a dog came to stay with me as well. To add to all that no one pays any bill but me. I am taking my kids to a shelter and going to try and rebuild my life
2007-05-09 05:44:57 · 8 answers · asked by ladym 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to be upfront with them. Tell them you you value them as family members but you cannot afford to take care of other adults. They need to get jobs and take care of themselves! You shouldn't be dragged down by their irresponsibility. It sounds like they're using you and taking advantage of your generosity. And you're really not doing them any favors by letting them lean on you so hard. Print out some job and apartment listings for them and tell them they have one month to make good use of the listings and get the hell out! Tell them you are there for them if they need a sister, but you are not their mother!
2007-05-09 06:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the guy is a huge jerk and you deserve much better than that. You feel depressed and worthless because he left you and walked all over you. You deserve much better than that, everyone does. It will just take time to get over the whole situation. You are probably also feeling depressed because you are upset about exterminating the child. But you have to remember, you made the decision and you can't take it back now. Everything that has happened has happened and it is in the past. Time is moving on and you can't live your life on pause. See my immature side would tell you to tell him to not even bothering telling him he's not going to have to be a father because he doesn't deserve an explanation. He should spend his whole life wondering. BUT this might not be the right thing to do lol. If you want to tell him I would either meet up with him and just flat out tell him. I don't think he even deserves a good explanation. Don't spend too much thought into how to tell him just do it. It all seems bad right now but it will get better. Find a friend you can talk to and have fun with. It seems like it won't ever get better but eventually you will move on and continue living your life. I'm sorry that's so long. Good luck with everything! and I hope i could help a little...
2016-05-19 00:30:54 · answer #2 · answered by meri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as they go out, change the locks on all the doors so none of their keys work anymore and next ... put all their stuff outside on the lawn with a note pinned to it. Get friends to help you if you need to get everything done quickly before they return.
Then tell them in the notes that they owe you $1000 (or $2000, $3000, whatever) each for back-shelter and board or they can just go live at a hotel. That oughta put some much needed money in your pocket if they go for it.
Then, if you want, tell them they can come back if they give you a $500 deposit, on top of the back-rent, upfront, to move back in and you will gather them all to discuss the new rules of YOUR place shortly.
No deposit, or no sticking to the rules and everybody's OUT!
Stick to your guns. Take your life back.
2007-05-16 18:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry these people have continued to 'crash' at your apartment, finally forcing you to have to move.
I think you could still stay in touch with them and that would count as 'keeping the family together'. You would be honoring your mother's request but just not letting them take advantage of your hospitality.
2007-05-16 12:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've bent over backwards for your family and at the ages they are, they could be taking care of themselves. Your right, rebuild your life and maybe then when no one is paying their way they'll finally stand on their own two feet, if not, you tried. So, good luck to you.
2007-05-15 13:38:11 · answer #5 · answered by good ole girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this would be the best thing for you. At least you will be able to start again without all the hangers-on and you can just concentrate on you own life.
Good luck.
2007-05-12 22:43:48 · answer #6 · answered by Deb 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Soon you will realize that you are not responsible for anyone except yourself and your children. You have to dump the deadbeats. It isn't your fault that they don't support themselves. Good luck.
2007-05-17 01:11:57 · answer #7 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give them your new address.
2007-05-16 07:59:34 · answer #8 · answered by Penny K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋