Geez, that's tough. Have you told him that you're jealous? Try just be honest. I understand if he feels some responsibility for her (I don't agree with it, but I understand), but buying her expensive gifts that she doesn't NEED? That's dicey. You two need to have an open (no holds barred) discussion about this. Be very honest - tell him exactly what you told us in your question. Maybe if he's going to go see her, he should be taking you with him. Chances are, a few visits like that, and the ex will stop inviting him.. Good luck!
2007-05-09 05:15:18
·
answer #1
·
answered by Magaroni 5
·
0⤊
0⤋
Obviously when someone is in a relationship, there will always be feelings, good or bad. I trully think that he does feel bad for her because of her situation and he probably is scared that she will harm herself if he doent help her w/her little favors. I think he helps her because like he said he would feel responsible if something happened to her. While this is a great characteristic of a caring person, maybe you should have a talk with him and remind him that these things hurt you as well. Tell him that he has a big heart but being at her beck and call is never going to help her take care of herself. And he shouldnt feel responsible if she hurts herself (she may be using that to keep him on that leash), thats her decision and if its something shes going to do, then she will do it regardless of who she hurts. I think maybe you should just have a talk with him and be honest about how you feel as well. Make sure you tell him he can be her friend, you're not telling him he cant, but maybe he should take a look at the bigger picture.
2007-05-09 12:20:05
·
answer #2
·
answered by kizdrop 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
First of all...
I am 26 and live with my boyfriend... I love him to death without a doubt.
Though Im not in love with my ex... I know I still love him and care for him. I wouldnt go back with him but he still holds a piece of my heart... that doesnt mean Im IN LOVE with him!
Like you said... he is a very sweet guy... perhaps that is why he does such things.
Most likely he'd do those things for you if you were in a similar situation.. and you guys werent together anymore.
Talk to him and let him know how you feel when he does such things... ask him to put himself in your shoes.
See how things go and if you are not happy then maybe its time to move on.
Good luck!
2007-05-09 12:15:19
·
answer #3
·
answered by ♥ Sweetpea 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
I don't think he is so much still 'in love with her" as he is 'an enabler'. Let me tell you what that means - he knows she has a problem and he has allowed himself to become so connecte to her and to her problem that he 'enables' her by giving her things, answering her calls, catering to her whims. Many people who are enablers have parents who were or are addicts, or abusers of alcohol. In order to keep those people happy, they tend to give them things. My dad was an alcoholic and in order for peace to remain in our home, my mother would make sure he had his drink. When I became an adult, I found myself doing the same thing - to avoid conflicts and fits of violence, I would 'give in" and allow the drinking to continue - it was a way to protect myself. This guy needs to break all ties - and his excuse for 'not' doing something he has placed on you - "my new girlfriend would not like it' - even in this statement - he is not accepting his role because he is afraid. He is going to need some help to break away or she will continue to pull him into her world - either you will go, or he will go.
2007-05-09 12:26:56
·
answer #4
·
answered by THE SINGER 7
·
0⤊
0⤋
im dealing w/ the same issue, and yes he loves her still, im sure she has family and friends to support her during this time when she is vunerable. she is doing this out of spite and b/c she also loves him still. some people just cant "be" together but they still feel the same. your young girl dont be fooled, he is not respecting you by talking to her period and especially buying gifts and things, i mean if he has children w/ her then theres nothing you can do about it, but if there is no kids, wake up girl he playing you, he doesnt mean any harm but he having his cake and eating it too, you need to let him know this and try and find ways to seperate yourself now!! cause this madness will never end completly until them two cease what they had in the past.....
2007-05-09 12:21:06
·
answer #5
·
answered by KAT 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
he still has feelings for her, when they broke up he already knew she had a problem yet broke up with her, he should have ended the entire relationship then and there, he obviously doesnt care about how you feel about what is going on because he continues to make excuses for his behavior and is still seeing her and doing things for her, it might be best for you to get out of this, given her problem with drugs ect, things might get worse and you will only be in the middle of it if you stay in this relationship....
2007-05-12 13:49:29
·
answer #6
·
answered by MidnightSkies 7
·
0⤊
0⤋
yes he do. he goes out of his way to do things for her. why haven't he changed his number. do he really expect you to believe that she would kill herself if he didnt buy her a blue tooth phone. you need to talk to him and tell him that he really needs to tell you how he feels about her and that he needs to choose between you or her. do you know if she even has cancer that might be a lie
2007-05-09 20:24:21
·
answer #7
·
answered by sweetness23 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
I don't know if you call it true love but he still has love for her in some way....not sure if its friendship, partner, or petty love...either way he needs to decide who he wants in his life you or her....he cant be doing this for the rest of his life...
2007-05-09 12:25:31
·
answer #8
·
answered by LAP 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
yup. he still loves her. i would stay away
and, sweetpea... if your ex still has a piece of your heart, then you cant give the whole thing to your new boyfriend. which means you do not love him as much as you claim you do or are convincing yourself that you do
2007-05-09 12:15:30
·
answer #9
·
answered by sweetblueyes 5
·
0⤊
0⤋
just examples=dont know if its about love but if any of my childrens mothers needed help id give it and ive continued to stay friends with them--my girlfriends realise ive continued to stay friends with them and trust that i love who im with and they are just friends
2007-05-09 12:18:10
·
answer #10
·
answered by radicalroberts2003 2
·
0⤊
0⤋