My wife and I have been together for going on 2 years now and I work alot while she is a stay at home mom for our two kids. My question is with me working so much sometimes i forget to mention to her how good she looks or how the house looks when I come home. This really upsets her to the point we fight about it. Could this be the signs of a problem or am I in the wrong for forgetting?
2007-05-09 04:34:04 · 22 answers · asked by McAnik 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really don't think it is a sign of a problem, but you should try to understand her veiws...yeah,, she stays home while you work all day...but raising two kids and keeping the house clean is a very hard job...you should try to remember to compliment her more..that is kindda like her pay...try to think about it from her point of view...
2007-05-09 04:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You both are wrong - be mature! Yes compliment her, buy her flowers, never forget!!!! LOL and she shouldn't be looking for rewards either! she sets herself up to feel bad when there are none and guess what children never give compliments they do not know how and do not understand why they need to be given...
The true problem her is that she feels unwanted, unloved and not appreciated! Get a sitter for her one day and let her have the entire day to her self... Get a sitter one night and remind her why you two got together in the first place!! Order out one night a week (if you can afford it) so that she doesn't have to cook and do dishes, fix her a candle lit bubble bathe.
Being around children day in and day out is not good! They are mean and needy but she has needs as well, she feels as though her bucket is empty and no one is putting anything back into it for her, she gives and gives till' there is nothing left for her to give. children are the innocent ones here but they can not provide her with what she needs to feel like a true women... She needs to get drunk and dance and live once more, just one night every other month at least! Before she forgets who she is. She is not just a mom! It's not too late do something and do it now before it is to late.
2007-05-09 11:52:12 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you just said that you are not mentioning those things and she needs to hear them. You need to tell her how you appreciate the things she is doing, how nice she looks. Send her some flowers (not just for mothers day) with a note that says what a wonderful wife she is and how lucky you are to have her. Little comments about the house, how she looks, and the things she has done for you, your kids and the house go a long way in not only keeping the peace, but making her feel like the work she does actually matters to you and means something.
2007-05-09 11:47:35 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're purposely trying to forget to tell her how much you appreciate her, so just try and make more of effort to do it.
It's nice to hear our husbands tell us how grateful they are for the stuff that we do, and we wives should tell our husbands the same. You know, I'm a Military wife and we're stationed overseas. My husband is often away from home leaving me with all the responsibilities of the kids, the house, bills...etc! But it sure makes it easier on me because he always tells me how thankful he is for me and what I do to keep our family running. And I tell him how thankful I am that he goes out everyday and makes a living to support us and give us the life that we love so much.
She needs to hear you tell her she's beautiful, that she's a good mom, and that yeah, even the house looks good! Believe me, a few nice words will go a very long way!
2007-05-09 11:55:30 · answer #4 · answered by Aimee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be so simple. It's important to figure out what's going on behind the arguments. Maybe she feels unappreciated, but maybe she feels like you're working too much. It's important to discuss what's going on in the relationship for this to be resolved.
Make sure to spend time together just the two of you. People experience love/affection/appreciation in different ways and it's important that you find out what those are. If she needs to feel appreciated in words, give those to her. Maybe she just needs a break. Consider taking a day off or doing some of the housework on a Saturday.
Find out what's really going on. If you're trying to meet her half way and she's still getting upset with you, the issue might be with her. Try counseling if she refuses, the issue is definitely hers.
2007-05-09 11:58:42 · answer #5 · answered by zefwee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you are not wrong. She need to understand that you've been working so much that you will be so tired by the time you get home. Apologise to her and let her know that should you forget all the praisings its because you are so stressed out from work. A good wife will understand.
2007-05-09 11:45:20 · answer #6 · answered by greentea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you arent showing her the appreciation she deserves then you are wrong. i am going to say this and it amy offend some of you. You get a paycheck for what you do, not exactly appreciation but it is something, with a stay at home mom, what does she get? No pay check, so she waits on you to give her compliments, tell her how nice the house looks or how great dinner was. It isnt much but it is all she gets in form of payment.
2007-05-09 11:41:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I have been the wife and mother stayin at home for the past 18 years in 2 marriages and I cant stress to u enough how inportant it is for you to aknowlege what she does how she looks and just in general make her feel good her fighting with you is telling you that she needs something from u pay attention or she may not be around later as her husband you need to give her love and the attention she needs to make her feel better about herself and that she is important to you. The little things make a huge difference.
2007-05-09 11:47:23 · answer #8 · answered by hmsmomof6 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take your wife on a date once a week or so. Let her know how much she is appreciated! Let her know that you love her and you love coming home to her and the kids and a clean house. Tell her that this one night is her night out. Pay a baby sitter to come and watch the kids. Plan for her to either have them in bed when you get home or at least pj's on and ready for bed. Pay the baby sitter. Tell your wife it is still her night off and you put the kids to bed and let her get ready for bed herself. She will know better than words could tell that you truly love her and cherish her.
My brother has a wife that don't clean and does what is absoutely neccessary for their one son. He is clean and taken care of but that's all she doesn't want to hold him or deal with him...my brother is talking about divorce. He is so tired of coming home from work to a dirty house and everything. What I'm trying to say here is apprecaite your wife. She loves you and is trying to make a life for you at home. She works hard. Let her know you love her by giving her this night off.
2007-05-09 11:51:07 · answer #9 · answered by Shell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are just being a normal spouse. For a time, I was the primary breadwinner and my husband was at home with the kids and I would come home tired and forget to praise him for things and it would bother him too. (Its not a woman thing, its just human nature.) We'd laugh because he would say stuff like "I cleaned the whole house and you didnt even notice!". So just start making a practice of noticing her more...put little notes around for her or put a sticky on your computer to remind you to call her and just say hey..Im thinking about you...ask whats she's doing...and when she TELLS you...then you remind yourself to praise her for it when you get home...
God bless
2007-05-09 11:54:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋