i am married for 15 yrs and had a 6 yrs old daughter. my husband in my knowledge has cheated me twice(first was with his ex upto 6 yrs of our marriage). he blamed me for it. when i came to know about his 2 affair he again blamed me that i dont satisfied him. i accepted that and tried my best to please him but i feel horrible that what example i am setting for my daughter. as i am financially depend on him i cant leave himo . but i am feeling so guilty that i am not able to forgive him then i have no right to live with him and using his money on my luxury .what is your opinion?
2007-05-09 03:14:35 · 26 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You admit that you are using his money on your luxury & are financially dependent on him. As a wife it’s your legal right for being provided for your maintenance, but this right doesn't take your right of a wife to challenge the adultery of her husband. As a wife you can seek divorce from your husband on the ground of his adultery. In case you forgive his adultery now then you won't be able to make the present adultery as a ground for divorce, but if you seek divorce now you can get decree on the ground of his present adultery, the past act of his adultery cannot be made a ground for seeking divorce now. As far your maintenance is concerned he will have to pay you that not only at the time of divorce but even during the pendency of the divorce petition. For further legal advice & guidance write to me directly. Vijay_mahajan5758@yahoo.co.in
2007-05-09 05:57:02 · answer #1 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is never any excuse for cheating. However.....did he have a valid point when he insisted that you weren't giving him the attention he felt he deserved? Just curious. As for the example you're setting for your daughter, how would a 6 year old be able to connect the dots and know that the only reason mommy is staying with daddy is for financial reasons? All she knows is that mommy & daddy aren't gettting along. You BOTH need to change that so that she has a home she feels safe and happy in. As for you and your husband, sounds like you have a lot of talking to do about what it is that YOU need to do to keep him happy, and what HE needs to do BE happy. 3 strikes and he SHOULD be out!
2007-05-09 10:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I sympathise with you. But I do want to say that I hold you accountable for this saga. You should have split the moment you came to know of the first infraction which went on for so many years. About financial dependency I don't agree with you. Prove the case in court you can split the assets. But self respect is more important than money. Please get out and establish your own life. It is easier said than done. But at least give it a try.
2007-05-09 10:48:01 · answer #3 · answered by nice guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't respect you and your daughter will eventually see that. There are many avenues you can look into for getting out of this marriage. Go talk to a counselor at a women's shelter or an abuse clinic and I know they can tell you how to get back on your feet.
You need to get out ASAP. You're being emotionally abused and you seem like you're beginning to think you deserve it. You have every right to live with him and use the money that enters your household because you all are a family. There is no mine and yours when you get married. So you have no reason to feel guilty for that. But please talk to a counselor or women's advocate so they can advise you of your options. It's their job to do these things. I hope things work out well for you :-)
2007-05-09 10:31:36 · answer #4 · answered by That lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your daughter deserve a lot better leave this guy if you have family go stay with them while you get an education or find a job like a clerk or something what kind of examples are you guys setting for your daughter if you stay with him your daughter will think that fighting and abuse is common and that cheating is alright to come on you can do this!
2007-05-09 23:14:08 · answer #5 · answered by HELP ME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did absolutely nothing wrong. men use that excuse all the time, when in reality the problem is him. he has some sort of psychological problem, and nothing is your fault. DO NOT LET HIM MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY ANYMORE! you're daughter will not notice if you don't let her..so don't worry about her view. many people stay together for financial reasons, so don't feel guilty about that either. but know that this is a form of abuse. you can divorce and count on child support and alimony..or stay with him..but DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!
2007-05-09 23:08:56 · answer #6 · answered by tam d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is cheating, do not feel guilty about spending his money. Take a little bit of money from your "spending" money each month and put it in an account in your name, at a different bank, send the statements to your parent's house. Once you have enough money to get out on your own, leave. File for child support and, if you're not working, alimony.
2007-05-09 10:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a job and leave his sorry a--. Your daughter is in school so you can work. You have no self esteem and think you don't deserve any better but you do. He is the problem, not you. You deserve to be loved and respected by your partner and you have neither with him. Run, don't walk to the nearest exit.
2007-05-09 10:25:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to to a marriage counsellor. If it does not work out then go see a lawyer. You will be eligible for spousal support. However you will have to prove beyond doubt that he is cheating on you. Prepare your daughter for unknown future that may come before her.
2007-05-09 12:06:25 · answer #9 · answered by Iqbal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Out of his money, start putting away some in a seperate stash. Put this up, call and find out about apartments, power deposits, and other amounts you need to get out. Take some classes online or just start hunting a job, and get out. You need to be free, and self supporting. You need to find a support group to help you find yourself. Just because he supports you now, does not mean he will forever. It is time to start out on your own.
2007-05-09 10:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by mamatucker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋