I am 12 weeks pregnant now, and my boyfriend has made it quite clear that he does not want us to have intercourse for the rest of the pregnancy. He said it is psychological, and went on about hurting the baby etc, even though I have showed him countless articles/books which state that sex in pregnancy is fine. Despite my best efforts (!) I just cant get him to change the way he feels, and although I feel closer to him, as we are having this baby together, I also feel frustrated and confused as to why he feels like this. I cant go the on the next 6 months like this!! :) Has anybody else had a similar problem?
2007-05-09 02:45:02 · 22 answers · asked by **sugarplum** 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I have no clue what is with these men???? It was all fine and honkey dorey to have sex on the norm or have wonderful funfilled sex, then all the sudden BAM your pregnant and its a psychological thing! IT makes no sense. My boyfriend is using the same excuse, he now calls it a chore and makes me feel unwanted. I really didnt expect that being pregnant with a child we planned would cause me to not have sex. Its so frustrating. He has a child from a previous relationship from years ago and when I finally questioned why he wasnt having sex with me I asked him did he have sex regularly with his ex he said probably no more then 6times. I said well that isnt me! ooooh it erks me. I could not stand to not be intimate the whole pregnancy....I could do that by myself, lol thats what I tell him. I so feel your frustration.
2007-05-09 05:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by Princessa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm In The Same Boat As You Hunni....
I Had A Miscarriage Last Year And Am Having Some Minor Complications With This Pregnancy... My Fiance Doesn't Want To Have Sex Until After The Baby Is Born...He Simply Refuses...
We Havn't Had Sex Since I Got Pregnant In January...lol... It's Depressing...lol...But At The Same Time, When I think About It... It's Kind Of Sweet That He Doesn't Want ANYTHING to Risk Us Losing Another Baby :)
2007-05-09 02:55:42 · answer #2 · answered by Tink's Mommy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not pregnant and never have been but just reading this question made me think about how I would feel in this situation. I actually think I would be really hurt because although there is the *passionate* side of sex there also is the the closeness during it which is a part of your relationship! He has made a decision to put this on hold for the next 6 months. Everyone is entitled to their new emotions when they are faced with a new situation, as of course he is, but I also think that you are being incredibly understanding and patient with your boyfriend. Maybe he could do a little more for you to make sure you still feel like his special someone, loved and sexy as well because you're still human and he needs to be there for you in every way for the next few months for you both to enjoy your pregnancy as much as possible. You are willing to put your effort and sacrifices into having your baby so he has to do some of his own too! Plus he'll enjoy putting the effort in because at least he gets a fun part too! I think the best way to go about it is to create some "couple" time. Have some evenings where you get the candles out, some massage oil, strawberries and cream, a lighting fireplace and blanket and a no-sex rule but everything else goes!(actually check you are allowed to be massaged when pregnant first! - but you get my drift) Focus on all the little things that got you going at the start of the relationship and then some - lots of kissing, nibbling on ears, kissing collar bones, foot massages whatever it may be...Maybe he will relax into it and not being "allowed" to will have a reverse psychology affect ;-) or maybe he will not want to go the whole way but sometimes I think us ladies every now and then have been nice to our boyfriend/husband when we ourselves couldn't fully join in so time to return the favour and please you in different ways! ;-) Also, maybe as the issue is mainly psychological just having some sensual time together will take the pressure off him and he may adjust to the idea because in his eyes right now you are this amazing mother-to-be but as time goes on he might get used to this being a part of you but realising it is not the whole of you - you are still the sexy girlfriend, his funny best friend AND mother of his child.
Congratulations by the way and good luck!
2007-05-09 03:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by Sox 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well look at this way some men are actually grossed out by the fact that there is a baby growing inside of women and some times they feel that they will hurt the child, and not having sex really isn't a bad thing, it can make you bleed then you will have more worries than you probably already have about your pregnancy and it can irratate your uterus and cause minor contractions. So don't worry he probably just fine, just squimish about it.
2007-05-09 03:13:50 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to wear a condom and the baby won't recognize him. (lol)
Ok, seriously, my wife and I had sex throughout the pregnancy and even the day before the baby was born. The doctor will tell you not to worry until your water breaks.
As for your husband, you cannot deny his feelings. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. You can discuss it with him, show him more information and get your doctor to discuss it with him. Lastly, you can always use the age old "You do it with me now or you won't be doing it at all later..."
Communication is what you both need.
2007-05-09 02:54:38 · answer #5 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men think of the womens body different when you are pregnant. Some think it is sexy and attractive and others see it as an incubator.
Since he won't have intercourse... try other things... just to get him stimulated. Maybe once he is up.. and running.... then he will go the distance!
I am 12 weeks as well, and we have been very in-active for the last 6 weeks... So, I tried this... Once he was hot and bothered.. he didn't want to stop...
Good luck.
2007-05-09 02:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by me a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well before i got pregnant, we were at it like rabbits, 2 or 3 times per day... every single day... no joke. Even after i got pregnant, we were still at it at least once per day. But now that i am 14 weeks, he still has the same sex drive, but i'm really tired and i just want to lay down and go to sleep. But i end up doing it with him anyway just so i don't push him away to another woman while i am pregnant... (even though he wouldn't do that... you know how we have crazy thoughts while we are pregnant....) Sometimes it's us who don't want to have it and sometimes it's them who don't want to have it for fear of hurting the baby. I'm sorry that you can't change his mind, but hey, at least he's being considerate enough to think about you and the baby's health... you know?
2007-05-09 02:55:05 · answer #7 · answered by ♫Mama of One♫ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm interior the comparable boat, in basic terms a touch at the back of you. i'm 15 weeks and am nonetheless throwing up. i'm underweight and had worked no longer elementary to learn weight. i complete up gaining 7 pounds precise earlier I conceived. Now I vomit plenty, in spite of nausea drugs, that I even have lost 5 of those pounds. i'm commencing to ask your self why i can not placed any weight on. to no longer point out I also have a detrimental time going selection 2, so because it somewhat is all fantastic around in there too. sturdy success with the load benefit!
2016-10-30 22:45:11 · answer #8 · answered by xie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off and see if his interest changes. He's already thinking about the baby so that is a good thing. How much would you feel like doing it if there was a baby awake in the bed with you? That's how a lot of men feel.
2007-05-09 02:54:26 · answer #9 · answered by luvmysoldier 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! Well, I am 38 weeks pregnant and my husband didn't start the whole "I just feel weird with my son in there....blah blah blah" until I was about 25 weeks. It has been hard on me to not have sex with him, we just do "other" things, but when I started getting about 30 weeks, it didnt really bother me, cause I was a whale and it just wasnt comfortable anymore! Sex supposedly is good to induce labor....so no you are not the only one out there!
2007-05-09 02:51:07 · answer #10 · answered by yahoocraze 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋