problem with my English! is this wrong?

Question

The sun was shinning and it was my first day of SOASC(boys school), i heard the excited sound of 4Sc1 laughter and voices tumbled down the corridor before i entered the classroom. i felt agitated but able to get through it. I sat beside a window facing the teacher's desk and observed all the people who I would eventually befriend with.

Though i am surrounded by familiar faces, i do not recognize anyone and i never felt so alone...




PS. pls someone rewrite this if is is messed up. i need a desperate help.

Answer 1

It isn't that bad. You have a couple words misspelled. You also have some run-on sentences. The word "I" should be capitalized. In fact -- try not to use the word "I" very often.

You have a few problems with punctuation. Every time you use the word "and" you should ask yourself if there is a better way to say what you want.

Try not to end sentences with the word prepositions -- like "with."

---------------------------
The sun was shining on my first day of the SOASC boys school. I heard the excited sound of 4Sc1 laughter as voices tumbled down the corridor before entering the classroom. I felt agitated, but was able to get through it. I sat beside a window facing the teacher's desk and observed all the people who would become my friends.

Answer 2

It was the first day of school. The sun was shining and I could hear the sound of laughter tumbling down the corridor. I waited to go into class. I felt agitated but in control. I sat by a window facing the teacher's desk and watched the people I would eventually befriend.

Though I was surrounded by familiar faces, I didn't recognize anyone. I've never felt so alone...

Answer 3

The sun was shinning and it was my first day of SOASC (boys school), I could hear the excited sounds of 4Sc1 laughter and voices tumbling down the corridor before i entered the classroom. I felt a little agitated but confident I could get through it.

I sat beside a window facing the teacher's desk and observed all the people who I would eventually make friends with.

Though i was surrounded by familiar faces, i did not recognize anyone and i had never felt so alone...

Answer 4

The sun was shinning(shining) and it was my first day (at) SOASC(boys school)(.) i heard the excited sound of 4Sc1('s) laughter and voices tumbled (tremble) down (through) the corridor before i entered the classroom. i felt agitated but (was)able to get through it. I sat beside a window facing the teacher's desk and observed all the people who I would (befriend) eventually . ( OR all of whom i would befriend eventually)

Though (no-->i am) surrounded by familiar faces, i do(did/didn't) not recognize anyone(,) i('d OR had) never felt so alone...


note: hi bobby... all my corrections are in brackets... trying not to confuse you... i didn't delete your words so you could see the difference.... in case u prefered your version or wanted to compare the changes...

Answer 5

Put in a period/full stop after (boys school) instead of the comma. Take out the 'with' after 'befriend'. Use capital letters at the start of new sentences.

Answer 6

REGULER GRAMMER IS NEEDED