Are divorced women "damaged goods"?

Question

Do you think women who have been through a divorce will have trouble maintaining a relationship after they get divorced (emotional baggage)?

Answer 1

They can be. Men can be too. It depends. I mean someone who goes through a divorce means that they did not succeed at marriage at least once. It can mean that they aren't very good at it, it can mean that they don't value their vows, or it can mean they learned their lessons and are better equipped for marriage or it can mean none of those things.

Often the statistics that are cited say something like 50% of marriages end in divorce and 60% of re-marriages end in divorce. This is often used to say that divorcees do not learn their lessons. However, when you consider that you are taking 50% of the successful marriages out of the pool and left with only broken marriages, and that 40% of those that re-marry end up being successful, I believe you are saying that a significant proportion of those that are divorced DO learn their lesson and go on to have happy marriages.

The stats don't even matter though, do they? Each person is a unique set of circumstances to be taken in as an individual and not judged based on a group of people. So rather than looking at a divorced woman (or man) as damaged goods, one is better off just understanding that it is another piece of information about that person. Someone that has used drugs or alcohol, or had a sexually promiscuous past can often be better trusted with those issues having learned hard lessons from them than someone that has never had any dealings with them. Is there a risk? Sure there is, but EVERYONE is a risk.

Answer 2

There a two questions there so let me try answering them one at a time. Yes divorce women are "damaged goods" we humans are amazing living specimens. What does not kill us makes us stronger. In the case of divorced women as is true probably also with men when they come out of a relationship the usually learn from it. Some are once bitten twice shy. Others after falling off the horse want to get right back up on it and ride it again confident in the thought that next time they know what to do so as not to fall off again. So really the bad connotations of "damaged goods" should be ignored. They are still good to go. Sometimes.

Answer 3

Absolutely not...Haven't you heard that "leftovers can make a great meal, just add some extra ingredients and now you have a whole new dish"! Actually some divorced women come out much more stronger and better equipped to handle another relationship. That's just like a divorced man, if he wanted to stay in the marriage and the woman didn't he would be equally as distraught as a woman in the same situation. I've never liked the phrase "damaged good". A damage good is a product you buy from a store that has a dent, ding or bruise from being handled in a bad way. Since we are using "damaged goods" as a metaphor, we all are damaged in some form or another, some people may be weaker than others when it comes to standing up for themselves, some may take abuse, some may dish it out. All of us got some type of problem, whether we admit it or not...

Answer 4

I think some people, not just women, carry around emotional baggage irregardless of their marital or non-marital status. These issues infect any and all relationships they have. Perhaps you should reexamine your thought process regarding divorced women (BTW, I am not divorced). That seems a very narrow point of view.

On the other hand, if the man/woman happens to be a serial divorcee' then sure there is plenty of cause to worry. This would be an indicator that she/he does have commitment issues or either has a habit of picking out VERY uncompatible mates. Either way, you would be on the loosing end there.

Now, there is also another kind of baggage that is left over from a divorce such as financial problems, children, and that sort of thing. And yes, that is to be expected.

Answer 5

I think thisis a yes and no answer, anyone going through a divorce is "damaged goods" If a person takes the time to heal and learn what role they played in leading to the divorce then I would say they are no longer "damaged goods" because they have taken the time to learn from mistakes they made in the relationshp and became stronger through their independence. This roughly takes 5 years. If you don't take that time and admit you were part of the problem in the marriage you are bound to make the mistakes again and even blame a new spouse for things your ex has done.

Answer 6

No more so a divorced woman has life experience that someone who has never been divorced could ever imagine.. Usually a divorced woman is not in a hurry to either re-marry and is willing to wait for what she is looking for Nor are they interested in getting a divorce again!

Answer 7

More often than not, yes. But you don't need to be divorced to be carrying a ton of emotional baggage. Statistically, I think the odds are weighted against them though.

Unless they have changed, they probably have problems that will doom future relationships. Good, confident women who are flexible givers tend to find good, confident males who are flexible and self-disciplined and stick with them.

The ones that wind up with shifty men and get divorced tend to have problems. More often than not, they don't get better because they tend to not work out their own problems. Rather, they tend to blame the males they were in relationships with, and so they are doomed to repeat the cycle.

That being said, sometimes people learn and break out of these silly cycles. But I'd say the odds are about 2-1 against them being emotionally healthy.

Source: experience.

Answer 8

Some would say yes but it really depends on why the divorce took place. Like if the guy she was married to hit her,cheated on her, or if he was one of those workaholic types or even a drunk then she had valid reason to seek a divorce. Not all women who get a divorce have trouble in their future relationships. Especially if it was the guys fault in the first place. It just depends on the situation. Besides everyone has potential to make the future brighter than their past. Good luck to you and thanks for the question!

Answer 9

I think they can have meaniful relationships. I also think the term damaged goods is used wrong to secribe a divrced woman. It also depends on if she is the one who instigated the divorce or if she was doing something wrong. I know a couple of women who have been divorced and one is completely worlhless while the other had married a jerk and she is a upstanding person. So the answer is no-damaged goods term is better used in my oppionion of a girl who didn't wait for love of her life or has slept with everything she met.

Answer 10

Hellooooooooooo not all divorce women are divorce because they did something wrong.. most are divorce because they refused to take bullshitt from the men they toughed they love and love them in return, divorce women are strong and know what they want... and being that they usually divorce because they have being betrayed or abused I can say that they are strong women who are not afraid of being alone and start over..