Would I be FOOLISH to STILL CALL HIM AFTER what he DID or should I KEEP MY PRIDE?

Question

met a guy around 10 months ago, we gelled right from the start we were like best friends as well as seeing each other. We bonded very very well especially on a intellectual levels we would be up all night talking for hours. But discovered this guy is a classic commitment phobic that finds a relationship a severe threat to his freedom and says that he just isnt ready to settle down yet for his own reasons. I of course wanted a relationship. So I told him that it would be best if we went our seperate ways, but he didnt want that and couldnt understand why we couldnt at least be friends. He also said that he doesnt want to hurt me and has 100% respect for me and that I am an articulate, good looking, intellegent girl & that if he was looking for something I would be the one no doubt! so we remained friends without sex but stayed close, but then I couldnt take anymore as my feelings were getting intense. So I didnt speak or answer his calls for 2 months so that I could try & move on.

But it hadnt worked, I still missed him. He called me and said that he does miss me and my company etc so I went to see him and told him my feelings, he said he understood and does have feelings for me and that we should be close friends spend alot more time together.

13 minutes ago
He then said that he was going to come around tomorrow for dinner to talk about it somemore and hasnt even bothered to call me.

18 hours ago
He can also be VERY Arrogant and Cocky. I just also feel that I have done SO much for him, I even put a TV for 1,500 on credit for him, which he is paying back, I feel like I had put so much into him and he has just treated me like this! It is his 29th birthday next month and I dont think I should call him do you?

Answer 1

yeah this guy is afraid of commitments. don't be angry, but it's actually your fault. you already knew that he's afraid of commitments, but you still allowed yourself to fall in love with him. there is fine line between best friends and a relationship. and obviously you have crossed it. and now it's ruining your friendship.

feelings can be very hard to control. but it's not impossible. not seeing each other anymore might be too much. it would be a waste of good friendship.

i don't think that he's just using you. although you wrote that you allowed him to buy a tv on your credit. which he is paying so far.

you might want to accept the idea that he might never be ready for a relationship.

Answer 2

First of all, he doesn't want to commit because he wants to tap a few more pieces before he settles down with ONE piece for the rest of his life.

"but he didnt want that and couldnt understand why we couldnt at least be friends. He also said that he doesnt want to hurt me and has 100% respect for me and that I am an articulate, good looking, intellegent girl & that if he was looking for something I would be the one no doubt!"

This means he wants to keep you around long enough to make a few booty calls. And man, this guy is GOOD.

Answer 3

Well I like his honesty, about saying he's not ready. This doesn't mean you are out of the picture, he might very well want to be with you in the future but right now he doesn't feel good about his ability to provide etc.

Also....no way should you ever bring up marriage..being together, etc. Let him bring up that. It's one of "The Rules"(go buy the book and memorize it)..men need to be the 1st one to say I miss you, I love you, will you marry me?

Another thing you can do to turn stuff around quickly is be unavailable. Be too busy to call and too busy to answer at least a day of his calls. Men always respond to no contact (if he likes you)

Answer 4

some of the other mentioned how he wants to have sex with some more people before he gets tied down. that mightbe true but look at it this way. i really think people need to sow their wild oats before setteling down. if u did not get it out of your system then u will laways be thinking about it and the relationship will end up failing. Even if taht is what he wants to do look at it like this: AT least he respected you to tell u the truth that he is not ready for a commited relationship rather then going out with you and cheating on you and doing things behind your back and breaking your heart worse in the long run

Answer 5

How we ignore the little "wars" invoice despatched troops too that died. Somalia, Bosnia merely to call 2. the project is that no individual needs to make the international mad at us so, we administration our troops, do not carpet bomb, hit in hassle-free words pick objectives to shrink civilian casualties, in spite of the indisputable fact that the insurgents slaughter what percentage now?? I study the position in international warfare 2 we were loosing 8,000 infantrymen, sailors and airmen a week. In Viet Nam, over 10 years, we lost about fifty 4,000, or 103 a week. interior of america, Philadelphia had over four hundred murders very last three hundred and sixty 5 days on my own. What about vast apple, l. a., or Houston??? the probabilities of being murdered are larger in u . s . a ., than being killed in Iraq as a US Soldier. NO, we do not choose 10-two decades to do the interest, merely close the liberals up, tell the international to rotate, kick butts and get out. howdy, the international has hated us for one of those tremendous form of years, a minimum of because the best of global warfare 2, no longer some thing is gonna substitute it, cant refer to them reason they don't hear and do not care, so do what's ideal for u . s . a ., WIN and then leave.

Answer 6

Well you certainly are the generous one---a 1500 dollar TV--well you did that to buy his love---oops--it won't work. So that is lesson number one---can't buy love. Lesson two--stop the ever loving talk about something that will never happen. God what a sickening topic---you only do it to have an excuse to see him---lesson three---get a grip--find a guy that wants you.
Drop the TV drama--it is nauseating. Sorry--but you wrote it and that's the way I see it--you are obssessed and that is dangerous---you feel that you have to win--what a waste of time. tell him to have a nice life....then get a new guy and try again.

Answer 7

I would let him know how disappointed I was in him thqt he did not at least call and let you know that he could not make it.
First I would call him tomorrow to let him know what was on my mind. I would tell him that friends should have respect for their friends, and that you would appreciate him being more considerate in the future.

Don't sever the friendship, he may not pay you back what he owes you.

Call him for his birthday and act as if nothing happened. Don't keep bringing it up unless he continues to treat you disrespectfully, then let him pay you back and end the friendship.

Answer 8

R U Crazy let him lay there. 1 if you have to spend money on a man without being in a relationship with him than there is a big problem.there are plenty of men that will do for you and be there for you ,since he said that you are so super and all. find someone who atleast wants to be in a relationship with you. YOULL GETT THE WHOLE 9 YARDS!!!! YOU FEEL ME! TARA

Answer 9

He's using you,dont let him,you've done enough for the jerk,he'll just keep taking as long as you keep giving,I'll bet somewhere he's got a couple more ladies taking care of his needs also,move on,your a kind hearted lady and person, you won't have trouble finding someone else.

Answer 10

He just wants you around for the convenience of it. In other words he is using your sincerity and generosity ... he is using you. Leave him. Dont call him again. He wont change so rather move on with your life instead of sitting on the shelf and waiting for him.... things that sit too long get dusty!