How can I prove to the courts that my husband is an alcoholic & should have limited visitation?

Question

I am about to file for divorce & NEED to prove my husband is an alcoholic & will put our 3-year-old's safety at risk. I know most judges will rule the alcoholic can't drive the child or have him overnight, but I have no proof that my husband is a drunk!
He drinks at his home & doesn't drive much. He hides vodka in his laptop bag so he can drink at work, but hasn't been caught yet. Strangely enough, he is a brilliant IT director & very respected!
I know for a fact that he drink around the clock because he has physical withdrawals if he goes without alcohol one day. He physically can't avoid alcohol in order to have visitation since he gets violently ill, so I know he'll drink while caring for my son (even if the jugde orders him not to).
Since he has no DUI offenses & hasn't lost jobs due to driking, what else can I do to prove he is an alcoholic & that he will put our son's safety in danger?
BTW, he has driven my son while drunk...I just don't have evidence to show the court.

I've thought of calling the cops when he leaves here drunk, but I doubt they will locate him while he's on the road. They'd have to respond within seconds to catch him driving away.

I've also considered hiring a private investigator to track him & get proof, but doubt I can afford it.

Wow, there are some very angry people attacking me! He wasn't an alcoholic when I met him 10 years ago. The drinking has become a problem the last 2 years.
The reason I am divorcing him is so MY SON won't have to suffer life with his alcoholic father in the home. I also can't stop my husband from driving him while drunk!
How dare anyone say I'm the one who is hurting my child. Divorce is incredibly painful for all of us, but in the end I have to protect my child!

Answer 1

you probably met him in a bar and now you will ruin your sons life by defaming his fathers name...thats the reason this country is morally corrupt, you really deep down are just mad because your hormones took a roller coaster ride after the birth of your "precious" child. remember that your son will be just like him when he grows up, and just like you too! maybe you are the reason he started drinking.

Answer 2

alcoholism doesnt start overnight..

why did you choose to have a child with such a man? why did you continue to be with him for 3 years eventhough he had a problem that was such a threat to your child? why hasnt such a dangerous alcoholic gotten in trouble with the law or at least have proof of his danger that his wife for the last three years could easily find?

you sound angry and irrational.. and that is exactly what his lawyer is going to say, and he's probably right

just remember that you are not the victim, your child is, and partially because of you

i wish the best for your child, because from what i can tell of you, he is going to have a hard childhood if you dont change your behavior

grow up, this is about your child, not you, and he deserves a father

Answer 3

You could hire someone or have a trusted friend or relative video tape him when he's drunk.

Is the drinking the only reason why you want a divorce? Alcoholism is a disease, maybe trying to get him help would save your marriage. What about your in-laws, do they know he's an alcoholic?

Answer 4

Alright a good way to do something like this is to contact the police when he is drunk, Get a urine test on him and if it's positive file a report, And take that to the court
Good luck on the divorce and really sorry about your husband.

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Luke
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Answer 5

well my mother went through this a few years ago . the truth is its not illigal to be an alcoholic . its kind of tough unless he admits it or gets into trouble with the law he really cant be blamed . the truth is his record is clean so he can have an excuse for everything u say . ur gunna have to find another reason why he shouldnt see him . sorry .

Answer 6

If he should get limited visitation, it should be because of something he does related to being an alcoholic, some abuse or neglect. Just being an alcoholic isn't enough and I think what you're doing is stupid.

Answer 7

Present witnesses that your husband is an alcoholic. Petition the court to order that a random laboratory test be conducted on the urine and blood of your husband to prove his alcoholism.

Answer 8

I sympathise with you a lot, I went through the families court process with my ex husband regarding the safety of my two small boys at the time. I was made aware by his brothers whom he had moved in with when we split that he and his new girlfriend were doing allsorts of drugs and drinking from as soon as they awoke. At the time I was studying at college and missed every other Friday morning for weeks which was my worst lesson to miss (physics - I failed it!) whilst he had supervised access arranged by the courts at a church play group while they assessed the situation, eventually the judge gave him un-supervised access and the first time he saw them he took them on the Thames on a boat at 4pm in the winter, he was not back on time at 6pm I started making enquiries and his girlfriend told us he was on a boat somewhere, the river police were called out and eventually the boat was recovered by security guards at Hampton Court palace bashing up against the underside of Hampton Court bridge, the boys were cold and terrified and their father was unconscious from alcohol on the floor of the boat with his empty bottle. I still can not go over this one mentally for thr feeling I get in my chest and my youngest son still gets very nervous around boats and water. I encourage you to ignore the abuse from ignorant readers ( and to those readers I am not one-sided as I was restricted from seeing my own father when growing up and that is why untill my boys were old enough to decide I chose to encourage them to stay in contact with their father despite my feelings about his lifestyle and provided the location and money necessary for him to see them) and to trust your instincts regarding their safety. My sons are now 15 and 16 and after being forced to allow the access and financing and supervising most of it for years, pursued by him regularly to make them available to him and having had absolutely no monies from their father in this duration not even pocket money to the boys they have slowly by their own choice lost contact and all respect for him, they are fantastic boys and have also noticed that he has not telephoned them etc. at all since I let them make their own choice not to see him very much. I have protected them b not slagging him off to them and I still encourage them to and knock on his door if they are near his house now they are old enough to look after themselves and they say they don't like seeing him drunk etc. so they don't go, my only fear is that ironically it will be them that grow up with a guilt if he was to overdose or die some other way and they hadn't seen him for a long time, it is a minefield and people shouldn't be so generally judgemental although I am sure they are influenced by personal experience that may be very different to ours.

Answer 9

Take photogarphs of him while he is drinking or drunk and show these photographs to the court. This provides the evidence.

Answer 10

This may sound cruel, but the best thing you can do for him, is call the cops the next time he drinks and drives.