wife does not want sex...serious answer only.?

Question

My wife is 3 years my senior, she had menopause and she does not want to have sex anymore due to the pain.
1)Have seen doctor and taken medicine but still refuse to engage.
2)Went to romantic tour to try to improve the situation but does not work.

3)300% sure she is not having an affair or any other man in her life except me.

I still have needs and it looks like it is the end of sex btw wife and husband but family and etc is still intact.

Question:
1)If I can find a woman who is willing partner after understanding my position, do you think I should consider with this woman just for sex (don't ask me to go to prostitute it is a "no").

2)If yes to question 1, where the hell do I find such a woman?

Please advice with some compassion and don't be nasty.
Thanks..for your advice.

Answer 1

There are several sex-finders on the web. try www.adultfriendfinder.com. or www.sexsearch.com they actually ask you your marital status and hook you up with a woman who wants a married man!

Answer 2

First of all your wife is having normal effects to menopause her testosterone levels are dropping and that is why she is not wanting sex. She needs to look at hormone replacement therapy that should help. I'm not sure of the pain reason that could be psychological. I think you need to seek some marriage counselling your wife is going through a rough spell in her yrs and just be supportive. I have the same issue with my wife and well it ain't menopause but it doe's suck not having a sex life I'm only 32 but she is 36 so well me high sex drive her it seems like she is in neutral. I have explained to her that there is such a thing as pre-menopause but she don't believe me even when I have told here to talk to her Dr..

Secondly the other question you ask would be considered adultery and wrong. If you really need a release well use your hand. If you cannot live without sex and do not see any change for your wife anytime soon then maybe divorce is your only option. Never cheat on the women you love remember your vows in sickness and health, through good times and bad, till death do us part.

God Bless and Best Wishes get some counselling maybe your wife is going through something your unaware of just be there for her it will get better. As one of the great sayings: GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!

Answer 3

You married her for better or worse, so don't even think about cheating on your wife. She deserves to have a man who will be faithful to her regardless of the ups and downs you both go through. What if the shoe were on the other foot, and you were the one with the low libido? Would you be okay with her seeking out a new partner? I am nowhere close to menopause yet, but I know that it it is a complicated and frustrating time for a woman. She needs your love and understanding. You are being selfish.

Answer 4

ok, i dont have menopause but i have heard that it differs from female to female, i suppose a man can only wait that long as i know you have needs. So you have tried the docter route, have you sat down with her to discuss the matter, there are other ways of giving pleasure to your man. Ask her to maybe give you oral sex for now untill she feels comfortable to have sex again, or should there be a small hint of maybe having sex that take it slowly as it can hurt . I battled after having a c section to have sex as it was extremely painfull, i did however do otherthings if it was to painfull to have sex, be open and honest to her regarding this matter i am sure that if she loves you and she is aware that you might look around she will make some sort of a plan. Good luck

Answer 5

Going with another woman is walking a very thin line. Unfortunately this does happen to some women. Not her fault not your fault. But please don't get angry with her. It is just the way things are. You don't say if you have children but if you do be thankful for what you had. I know you have needs and strangely enough so does she but the pain can be pretty bad. Don't push it, you are trying to hard, love her cuddle her this what she wants just at the moment lots of understanding, talk to her about it but don't put the problem try to understand I know it's hard to do this sometimes especially when you have had an active sex life before. She is not alone in the lots of women suffer the same thing.
Dr Knowitall

Answer 6

You should not look at others just to satisfy your sexual needs.

What you should do is to help your wife... yes visiting dictor is one thing... Menopause basically dries up the virgina so having sex is painful. Try using lubricant cream etc.. you can get the doc to advise or go to the pharmacies, and ask for one. This helps to lubricate so that during penetration, it will not be painful. Of course you need to take extra care as well.. So you see it is NOT the end of the road.

If you need support to ngo to another woman and have sex, then I think you are ruining a good marriage and trust in the family. Worse, come to worse.. just musturbate and get it done with...

take care..

Answer 7

Your wife should go back to the doctor. Hormones are a tricky thing and low testosterone (even in women) destroys the libido.
If her hormone levels are in the mid-range of normal, it's time for couples therapy! Be aware that even if her levels are in the low/normal range it can affect her sex drive. Some doctors tell you it doesn't...but I know from experience that it does!
BTW...don't know what to say about having sex outside of the marriage. I struggled for 8 years with a husband who had no sex drive and I considered the same thing. I didn't want anyone else though : ( so I didn't look into other partners.

Answer 8

you are not alone bro! at least you have enough reason why is so cold, menopause is one, unlike me, my wife during our early years of our relationship was really active and was very obedient when it comes to sex, but after having our first baby she change a lot, one reason is that she is just too tired doing chores and taking care of our baby, to cut it short, she turn me down most of the time i ask for some attention, she's cold as ice, there are some nights i sleep in the other room, she dont mind if i do sleep some place else, so my advice to is try to understand her and never leave her side, sooner she will then realize how much you are important to her, be very patient.

Answer 9

I don't think that it is ever a good idea to seek sex outside of the marriage. Perhaps while she is in this "down time" you can think about how she feels and ask her to meet your needs in other ways...Just because sex is not an option right now does not mean that is it. Perhaps she would be willing to make you happy in an oral way...without being too graphic you know what I mean. Otherwise, you married her for the good times and the bad. This may be the bad time but that does not give you license to go patrolling for another source of action.

Answer 10

WELL I THINK BEFORE YOU VENTURE OUT ,YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN WITH YOUR WIFE AND DISCUSS THIS SERIOSLY.REMEMBER WITH WOMEN ITS ALWAYS MENTAL NEVER PHYSICAL,IT WILL CONTINUE TO WORK EVEN WHEN WE STOP.COMMUNICATION IS A MUST,AND THIS PROBLEM SHOULD BE TALKED ABOUT OPENLY AND HONESTLY.NOT BEING FUNNY BUT MAYBE ITS NOT HER,MAYBE ITS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT IS NOT A TURN-ON TO HER AT THIS TIME.SO THIS IS MY ADVISE TO YOU,RELATIONSHIPS ARE ABOUT,LOVE,JOY,HAPPINESS,UNDERSTANDING,COMMUNICATION AND SELF SATISFACTION.AND IF BY CHANCE YOU DONT HAVETHIS,AT THIS POINT AND TIME YOU DONT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP,AT LEAST NOT A HEALTHY ONE.BUT IF YOU DO HAVE ALL OF THE ABOVE,AND THE SEX IS LACKING ENJOY IT WHEN YOU GET IT.I DONT BELIEVE IN DIVORCE ,BUT ADULTERY IS NOT THE ANSWER EITHER.THAT WILL CREATE A BIGGER PROBLEM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP,OF COURSE UNLESS SHE SAY ITS OK.A PROSTITUTE IS THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRYS,A WOMAN THAT MAY BE WILLING TO EXCEPT BEING #2 FOR SEXUAL REASONS WILL ALSO DRAIN YOUR POCKETS,[THATS THE PRICE YOU PAY].SO CLEAR YOUR WIFES MIND AND INDULGE IN A ADULT CONVERSATION.HOPEFULLY YOU WERE FRIENDS BEFORE LOVERS ,IF SO YOU SHOULD ABLE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.THIS IS THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER.LIFE IS SHORT,OUR DAYS HERE ARE #D.YOU ARE TO ENJOY LIFE .IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY IN A RELATIONSHIP,AND IT DOESNT APPEAR THAT ITS GOING TO GET BETTER OR BRING YOU GREATER SATISFACTION ,THEN MAYBE IT HAS RUN ITS COURSE.EVERYONE COMES IN YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON,THEY ALL SERVE A PURPOSE AND WHEN THE JOB IS DONE,SO IS THE RELATIONSHIP,NOT SAYING THATS YOUR CASE,BUT IF YOU CANT FIX IT ,ITS NO LONGER YOUR JOB,MAYBE YOULL HAVE TO CHANGE PROFESSIONS.

Answer 11

You need to communicate to your wife the fact that YOU still want and need sex.

Ask her what she suggests you do.

(She may regain interest in sex after menapause).

You should get some books on the topic and that way you could understand her point of view too

No hookers unless she prefers you do that. There is always mr. hand for the job. She could even participate in that and not have to have sex.