I dont want to get too into it but the situation is that I was feeling like crap because how a person makes me feel. The person came over and started holding me. I was sooo pist at this person. Im somewhat confused now. Should I just let what made me ball in the first place Go? What would you do?
2007-05-08 19:29:04 · 10 answers · asked by jason b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Being angry at the person who did/said whatever it was that hurt you and made you cry is completely rational. But give your wife credit for having empathetic feelings and compassion. Let her help you,but still be open and communicate what hurt you in the first place and talk about it. A lot of people would just turn their back because you were crying and not have any compassion.
2007-05-08 19:38:18 · answer #1 · answered by Susie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is very difficult to forgive a person while you are still so upset. Perhaps though, your wife did not realize how upset you would get, and felt bad about it when she saw your reaction. I know my husband often says things that hurt me, without realizing it, and I just hate it when he comes and holds me straight away. Perhaps once you have calmed down a bit you should discuss this with your wife, and tell her how bad it made you feel, and how pissed you were at her insensitivity. I would not just let it go, because then it might very well happen again, and you are going to feel even worse. I do hope you can sort this out with your wife.
2007-05-09 02:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by sparrow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the best thing right now is counseling. We all want to be forgiven for our mistakes, but at least the way you describe it, it sounds like an unhealthy situation, not the need for forgiveness. You need someone to help you see this situation objectively. Since you are not comfortable revealing the details of the situation, (and who would be?) you should find a counselor who you trust with the details who can help you get to the bottom of this.
2007-05-09 02:38:56 · answer #3 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She obviously cares about you.
Ask yourself if, in the big picture of life, what she did was so important to hold it against her.
I'm making one hell of an assumption here but if she only did it once, give her a chance to change. If she did it repeatedly, then she will do it again. Either learn to live with it or separate from her but remain friends.
If it was bad enough to make you cry but not lash out at her, then be proud of your self control.
2007-05-09 02:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it makes you feel better to be held then let her hold you. Myself, I just want the person to get the hell away from me and not try to touch me.
If this happens a lot in your relationship you should get some counseling. It sounds like classic abuse. (I'll totally tear you down but then I'll apologize and everythings ok.)
2007-05-09 09:49:47 · answer #5 · answered by anastasia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my heart is broken, I need to let myself feel sad and grieve, cry, etc first. That's when I want the support of those I love. When I've gotten thru some of the pain, then I find it easier to sort thru thoughts and other emotions, and yes I might become angry at the very person who comforted me. That's fair game.
2007-05-09 02:42:32 · answer #6 · answered by livingwell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, I just had that happen! I need to stay away from that person. I have been thinking about it all day. I am sorry for you. I hope you can work it out because it is your wife.
2007-05-09 02:35:24 · answer #7 · answered by Melody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that whom ever is the crying is a hell of a person, trust me i've been there done that an still there, just do-not give-up unconditional love is the "KEY" so have faith,pray,or go with that gut feeling.. you will know well you wil "LIVE AN LEARN" the hard or easy way.
2007-05-09 02:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by rosaura y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she's trying to console you its one of two things and you should be able to tell: she feels GUILTY or she's really SORRY.
if she's just doing it because she feels guilty, she's doing it more for herself than she is for you. so be careful! she'll likely do it again (whatever it is that upset you)
and if she's being genuine then obviously she cares about your feelings and you should give her a chance to explain. and give her a second chance.
2007-05-09 02:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask her nicely why she did it.
2007-05-09 02:35:16 · answer #10 · answered by dirtyoldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋