I love my husband sooo much and i want everything in this world with him and want to know that he would NEVER cheat on me.. I have a good friend that he finds VERY attractive ...do u think its wrong to get her to Try to make him do something..I need to know if he will? and if i can trust him?? is my idea wise or dumb..be honest...
2007-05-08 19:01:22 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you need to know there, is nothing wrong with it. because if he doesnt then it will ease your worries but if he does you heart will be broken. so i guess its better to know for sure
2007-05-08 19:11:37 · answer #1 · answered by Amber R 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well here, unfortunatly is the hard truth... if you need to know you can trust him, then no matter how much you think you do, you don't love him. If you have any doubt that he would cheat on you, then you have doubt in him and you can't love someone you dont completely trust... now with that cheap sentiment being said. i say go for it. this is a new world we live in and everyone wants options wether it be with cell phones computers or whatever, people are never content any more and cheaters are becoming a more popular thing every day. If you want to stay with him and you really worry he might cheat, then i say do what you need to do to get that resolved. but if you get caught and figures you out, you will most likely lose him forever. if a girl did that to me i would be done with her in a minute. another thing dont use your friend that he knows. he might not make a move solely because he would fear it would get back to you. it needs to be someone he wouldnt know could get the info back to you. there i have officially tried to convince you to do something very immoral. hope that helps.
2007-05-08 19:10:28 · answer #2 · answered by wolfatthedoor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's worse than dumb, it's deceitful and manipulative. Is that the kind of person you are? Maybe he doesn't deserve to be treated like that by you. Doing that would only prove you and your friend are not trustworthy. Even if his eyes still know if a woman is beautiful, perhaps his heart is still yours.
Don't you have faith in him? You need to work on your own confidence and self-esteem. Lots of us need this. There are many good books about this. Do some reading and have a few meetings with a counselor. You will feel much better for it.
2007-05-08 19:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a good idea. If you are jealous that he finds your friend attractive confront him about it.
People often say what they think others want to hear as well. Think back to when he said she was attractive. How did it come up, did you comment first and he just agreed, did you catch him checking her out - how did you find out he thought that? Was it suspicious, was there desire in his statement or just an Innocent observation.
If you do set him up you might not answer the question can you trust him but you will answer the question that he can not trust you.
2007-05-08 19:20:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is built on trust... So why would you set your hubby up with your friend? That's basically what you would be doing.
I'm being honest when I say I don't think you should do this. It could backfire on you big time. When you play with fire...
Are you willing to get burned just to make sure he wouldn't cheat on you?
Also, even if he does "pass your test" this time, there is never a guarantee that he will next time. How many "tests" are you going to make him "pass" through the years?
Would you want him to make you pass his tests? What about not spending a certain amount of money--because you love him... I could go on and on.
Nope. Sorry. I don't think it's worth it.
2007-05-08 19:12:30 · answer #5 · answered by Prince Charming 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, a male is a male no matter what. It really depends what shes going to do. If its sexual he will have second thoughts, though if shes the one making all the moves, there is nothing that will stop him. Its wrong and unless your desperate to find out you can maybe try something to a lesser extent. Another factor you should consider is if he can trust you? What if all this backfires and he knows what your up to, or knows that shes your friend. What will you say and can he trust you? This is another reason why all this is wrong and if you really want to find out im sure you already know, after all, he is your husband.
2007-05-08 19:08:18 · answer #6 · answered by Peter H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's DUMB, but I do think it's a bad idea. You should always trust your husband as he should always trust you. This could only spell trouble. He might figure something is fishy and figure it out. Then, he might be upset that you didn't trust him... Or you could tell him he passed the test, only to piss him off that you did that in the first place... Or (worst case scenario) he could fail. And then what? Do you really want to go there?
2007-05-08 19:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by MoMoney23 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not dumb, but it is unwise. there is no gaurantee in life, you really aren't sure if whether or not she finds him attractive. what if your plan backfires and they keep everything a secret (not that she would ever do that, but I've seen worse happen between friends and spouses). if you really want to put him through the test, find someone else to do it unless you trust her with all your heart. there are other sneaky ways to do it you know. and if he really loves you, he won't be too upset when you tell him how he passed the test, unless of course he fails (i hope he doesn't). i wouldn't do it, however, it isn't right.
2007-05-08 19:14:22 · answer #8 · answered by sweetjuice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he given you a reason to not trust him? Thinking your friend is pretty isn't grounds to distrust him, so unless he's given you a reason, I think it's a terrible idea! And what about your friendship with this girl? She plays the decoy, he turns her down and tells you about it, are you going to confess to him this was all just to test is devotion to you? Because it's probably going to piss him off! But if you don't tell him the truth, it's going to make him uncomfortable to be around this girl because he's going to be reminded that she made a pass at him every-time he sees her. And he would probably also wonder why you weren't more angry with her! I think you're messing with a lot of emotions here. If you insist on getting a decoy, at least get someone you're not friends with.
2007-05-08 19:38:49 · answer #9 · answered by Aimee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dumb. Your lack of trust may be valid, but deceiving him is also a breach of trust. So which 1of you can claim to be superior?
Better for you to talk with him directly about the situation than to trick him into cheating. If he did you would never know that he would have been true if you'd let him!
2007-05-08 19:16:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that seems wrong. I mean, what if you don't know when to stop testing him. The more you decoy him with your friend, the more he gets interested in her and not you and you'll be still worried while the other two get closer and closer. I think you just need to focus on what makes it work between you two.
2007-05-08 19:13:02 · answer #11 · answered by rob129 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋