now i have a problem because i regret it but i know i have to just go on with life!! we have hung out 3 different times but each time i brought along my friend because i wanted to avoid having sex with him again! each time i have learned new things about him. he has never had a real relationship only friends for at least a month. he just got out of jail in jan, i was very shocked and had no clue! so anyways we are just friends and we still kiss and act like we are a couple which really annoys me because i dont want to lead him on but i still feel bad for him because i dont want to hurt his feelings! after we had sex he told me not to get attached so i have avoided catching feelings for him. at first he would call me a lot and come to see me at my job because when he gets off i go to work so we cant talk because when i get off he goes to sleep. now we hung out on sunday before i had work and he told me that he would call but never did. its 3 days later and there is still no call.
2007-05-08 17:38:47 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
First of all, why do you feel bad for him? You are a special person. You are allowing this guy to lie and manipulate you into taking advantage of you. You have made many references to his despicable behavior and the precautions you are taking for yourself. That should be the biggest clue that this guy is no good!! You found out he came out of jail in Jan and for what? Did you find that out while hanging out with him? Secondly, what business does a 27 year old man have with an 18 year old?! He sounds selfish and self centered. After you found out that he's never had a relationship, just sex and casual encounters should have been a clue that he's not the guy for you. You have a strong intuition that you're ignoring the obvious signs of the delinquency of his character. And you're right, you don't have deal with this. You don't have to settle for this looser and most of all, you don't have to feel bad for him. Him not calling is a sign that he got what he wanted, sex and nothing more. Pick your head up and move on to something more fulfilling.
2007-05-08 18:11:06 · answer #1 · answered by smiles331 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not worth your time. And I know that it might not mesh with the way that society and media tend to think, but it's better to wait for a "real" relationship before having sex with someone. Not just for moral reasons, but also because it's more fulfilling to do something like that out of love and lust, and not just lust. Also, most guys over 24 or 25 (and I'm being gracious with that figure) who date an 18 year old young lady are typically not interested in developing a lasting, healthy relationship. And it sucks. No question there.
You're wise to have realized your mistake--don't forget what you've learned from it. Don't stick with it to avoid hurting any feelings. He wants no strings, so cut your losses.
Good luck with everything.
2007-05-08 17:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by joy_like_a_fountain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK. This guy is using you for his own pleasures. He probably thinks of you as a bed buddy. I can not believe that he told you not to get attached. He was your first and that is something horrible. You should just be more concerned about yourself and not him. Move on and find a nice guy to be with. Mistakes happen and that is what life is about but make sure that you watch out for people like him. There are tons of jerks out there.
2007-05-08 18:54:37 · answer #3 · answered by nicole_j_52638 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OF ALL THE MORE YOU FIGHT THE FEELINGS THE HARDER YOU FALL . IF WHAT YOU SAY IS TRUE THEN YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD CALL IT OFF. GOOD JOB BY THE WAY OF NOT CALLING HIM. PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE WHETHER THEY HAVE BEEN TO JAIL OR NOT THAT DOESN;T MAKE THEM ANY LESS OF A PERSON. MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIND OUT WHAT HE WAS IN JAIL FOR, YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP WITH A CHO-MO. IT IS MY OPINION THAT THIS GUY REALLY DOESN'T HAVE MUCH FOR FEELINGS, HENCE THE RELATIONSHIP HISTORY YOU GAVE OF HIM.
2007-05-08 17:47:17 · answer #4 · answered by 29LICKS & MR.29LICKS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider yourself lucky. The guy is an ex-con and a user. You're much better off with him out of your life. Just sit down and think very hard about what you've learned from this experience.
2007-05-08 17:43:44 · answer #5 · answered by Alice K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bet you'll check the next one out a little better before giving up the "goods"! Why Why would you give yourself , your virginity, to such a jerk? Now, you can't ever get that back! This IS WHY it is soooo important not to go sleeping around and becoming a slave to your body. I sure hope you've learned your lesson. Good Luck!
2007-05-08 17:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by FemFatale 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know that your situation is pretty difficult to handle. I think that maybe you should just not waste your time on someone who doesn't want to get attached. You will save yourself time, and if you continue this way it is definate that you will develop more feelings. I think it is impossible for you not to have feelings for this guy because you did have sex with him, but just go on with your life. You will find someone who will respect you and love you for who you are. That person will dedicate their time for you. Just let him know that you do not want to lead him on and that you would like to stay single.
2007-05-08 17:45:27 · answer #7 · answered by CHEEKS69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this has happened to many girls so dont feel alone! i think you should get over him, yes this may take along time. and DO NOT call him. and try not to regret it because in the long run of life who you lost ur virginity to will not matter, its who you are with at the time.
2007-05-08 17:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the people are right on this case. Although it sucks that you lost your virginity to a jailbird. What a loss for you......lol
Ladies when Mom & Dad tell you to abstain you need to do that. Hopefully it will increase your chances of finding and keeping a good man in your life for longterm purposes.
2007-05-08 17:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to move on with your life. this man appears to be very irresponsible. he has been in jail already you say. you say that he has trouble making and keeping friends? that is a red flag. and why is a 27 year old hanging with an 18 year old and having sex with her? that to me holds another red flag like he is desperate or something. i don't know. this man is playing with your head, he used you to get into your pants i'd hate to say. why not move on with your life and stop letting this man play games? you'll be a lot happier. this man doesn't care about you
2007-05-08 17:45:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋