How do I get the strenght to leave him?

Question

I have homework to "keep telling myself I don't have to be abused anymore". Then I have to try to figure out my life and current situation with my abusive boyfriend of 7 years.
How do I get the strenght to leave him after all the abuse, I need some advice to get the gumption to leave. I don't have it in me right now. It's very difficult and the situation is an endless cycle. Yes we have a son and he's coming with me. But I need the strenght to go. To stop making excuses and to forget about the hope of saving this doomed relationship. After 7 years, it's not worth wasting anymore time. I've wasted too long and I don't want this for my life or for my son. Please give me any helpful advice, it would be very much appericated. Thanks

It's not only physical abuse, it's emotional, verbal and mental. All aspects of abuse, I'm a prisioner in my own home.

Answer 1

its never easy to leave someone that has been a part of your life for such a long, even though it might not be the best of circumstances.

you need to move on. sure its easier said than done but you need to do it not only for yourself but for your son. you as an adult and as a parent need to protect your child from any harm. no matter what you do, if you stay there, it will only get worse and worse. and obviously you must know that by now, so why endure any longer? why keep fighting a losing battle, especially when there is something so precious as an innocent child on the line.

you need to stop the cycle that is being created, and stop the bad seed that is being implanted in your son. if you don't get out, your son will grow up doing what he learned as a child, possibly doing to women what his father did to you. do you really want your son harming women? all you would ever see in him is his father.

make the right choice. leave now while you're able to leave willingly, rather than leave involuntarily; in a body bag or a stretcher, then where would your son be!

go anywhere you can go. a friends house, your parents house, battered womens facility. go anywhere as long as you're far away from him. find the strength within you....
you deserve to be treated better.... your son deserves better.... life will be better. be strong.

Answer 2

If you have no place to go then find a women's shelter. Leave your house when he is gone. Don't think about what you are doing. Leave no note. You are just going out but not going back. Don't think too much. In your purse should be your drivers' license, your social security card, and your son's birth certificate.

You need to talk to a counselor of some sort. You may want to get a restraining order placed on your b/f. Think of all this stuff as a planned shopping list that does not give you the opportunity to analyze what is going down.

You have just left a relationship and environment that was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. What a relief to feel away from that and begin the reclamation of your life with your son. Be safe and totally resolved in the course you have taken. There was no choice.

Answer 3

I had to make a choice of stay and be abused or just leave. I had a 4 yr old little girl and she made the decision for me. Do I stay and have her see this and think it's ok to be hit by a guy or do I show her that this is wrong. Well we lived with no heat and no electricity for quite some time(thank God for wood burning stoves and candles) but she was shown that this was a better way to live at least we weren't hiding behind locked doors any more. Don't let your son grow up thinking that all girls are punching bags. Leave this situation so your son can grow up with a healthy out look on life and women. I wish you and your son the very best. By the way, no matter where you go when you leave it will be tough for awhile but it does get better and it does get easier and someday soon you will have the biggest smile on your face that no one will be able to remove. Get Happy, you deserve it and so does your son! Leave him TODAY!!

Answer 4

Sometimes in order to secure your future and your child's future you must be strategic in this type of situation.

Call the police on him so there is a record.

Get a restraining order and have it enforced.

Tell people! The more you keep it a secret, the less support you can get. When you tell people, you realize how bad it really is! You may feel embarrassed, especially if you tell someone but then don't leave him, but you need to find a non-judgemental friend that you can draw strength from.

Create a support network. Start slow, building up trust with people. It is likely you do not trust easily because of this abuse, but it is OK to trust some people. A network can make it easier emotionally, financially, and socially.

Answer 5

There's no easy way of ending it, you just have to do it. I was in an abusive marriage for 3 years and spent atleast a year of that trying to get the courage to end things. I also have children and there was no way that I was leaving without them. It's not easy, I know. I guess what it took for me... was time. After wasting over a year trying to call it quits, I realized that I didn't want to waste anymore of my life trying to find the courage to leave. For once, I was being selfish.... and tell you what.... it felt great. Don't think so much about the moment that you say goodbye. Instead picture how much happier and better your life will be afterward... that feeling of relief is incredible and once it's over, you'll wonder why you put your happiness on hold for so long. That day was the best, worst day of my life... kinda funny, but so true! Good luck, and just remember, you make your own destiny...

Answer 6

I was in your situation for 9 years. I finally left him this past year. You have to do this not only for you but for your son.He wont change not for you not for his son.You deserve better you are beautiful and you deserve respect and love the same goes for your child.This will be the hardest thing you will ever do cuz most likely he will call you and tell you how sorry he was and how much he loves you and that he will never do it again. But you need to be strong and move on with you life and find a man that loves you and your son.Get your self esteem up and go meet new people and laugh and be happy don't let him bring you down do it just leave him and don't think anything else you have to do this.Please do this i hope that everything works out for you and your son.Be happy you are beautiful and a wonderful person dont let anyone tell you different.

Answer 7

I am really sorry to hear that, you will need to have everything lined up for you. Where you will be going, how you will pay bills, all of that so you will not feel like you will have to go back to him. You will need a strong support group if it be family or find a community support group. It takes a lot to leave. My mom was in one for a few years and one day when he was at work she packed what she could put in the car and took the dog and move across the US. She did not even tell the family she was leaving till she was gone. You will need to get a restraining order for you and your son that is very important. I wish you the best of luck and please do it for not only you but your son you both deserve better.

Answer 8

Sorry to hear that....
But, Is a grate news that you now know what you want....(And that is the first step)..and letting go is not easy ....even do of the situation your in....Some many feelings.......and confusion, of your partner saying "that he's going to change" and never happens.......
If you already try everything.. and doesn't work any more...... You have to think of the sanity of your child,,,,that he will have in the future aggressive relationships if he keeps looking at you guys fighting and coming back again like nothing ever happened. h

*Well the (Second thing) is moving out to an unknown place for him......and have a restraining order. just in case.....I recommend for you to get a social worker, so she can advice you better in this matter.
.****get rid of you old you and begin a New you****....
A stable life awaits for you and son!!!

Answer 9

think about what your son's life will be like if you don't get him out. He could be abused as well. And he will continue to see the only father figure in his life abusing so he will think it is ok to do the same. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED!!!!! 7 YEARS IS MORE THAN LONG ENOUGH! you don't need anyone to tell you the reasons why you should get out. You know better than anyone how bad it is! You have every right to leave and he CAN NOT STOP YOU!!!!!!! He doesn't deserve you! You need a real man that will treat you like a princess not some asshole who treats you like sh!t. Start looking for a place to stay RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! and get out AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!!!! You don't deserve any more and you never deserved any abuse in the first place. Just walk out without looking back. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Answer 10

You've made the decision. Good for you. Now make a plan. Once you have a plan, you will feel much better and MUCH stronger and soon you will be ready to leave. Now start a list. Decide what day and time you will leave. Decide where you will go and with whom you will stay. Let them know. Pick a shelter if you need to. Decide what you will take with you and what you can do without. Buy plane tickets, bus tickets, whatever you need. Get ride if you need to. As you go through these steps, you will gain more confidence and realize that you CAN do this. You deserve so much more and God will watch out for you. Good luck and Godspeed.