I have been hurt by my ex husband (15 yrs. and cheated on me) was true to him...but how do you trust again? I know it is possible, but how do you completley trust your heart again?
2007-05-08 15:20:23 · 20 answers · asked by buggie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am pretty sure I have found the man of my dreams...he is everything I have always wanted and felt like I couldn't possibly have found....so honest and so tender and so loving...just want to give my heart to him with no scars attached.
2007-05-08 15:34:57 · update #1
You can trust yourself. And when the right man for you comes along, he will make you feel secure by his actions and feelings towards you. A man who makes you feel insecure and leaves too many unexplained hours, "unexplained", and when he says it's not HIS problem that you're insecure, and doesn't open his whole world to you....that's not the right man for you. There are lots of men out there who will go to lengths to open their world to you and make you feel secure...you need to remember, you might be attracted to men who like to keep secrets and make you hunt for information.
Some women are attacted to 'tough guys' who incidentally aren't really tough, they are simply little men who like to beat women.
2007-05-08 15:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
After getting hurt, it's always hard to jump back on the horse, in a manner of speaking. The right man has to come your way, and he will have to work extra hard for you because of the scars your ex-husband left behind. This doesn't mean go out and look for him. You'll know when he's finally found you, because he will be extra patient and gentle with you because he cares. He will teach you how to trust and love again. And the best part is he will never hurt you as terrible as the last man. You'll know you're ready to trust again when you finally meet him because you won't want to spend another second without him.
2007-05-08 22:31:30 · answer #2 · answered by Honesty 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can never truly know a person. There is a chance you will get hurt again. There is a chance you will have your heart broken again. If you accept these things then perhaps it would be easier than trying to avoid the possibility of pain. Those who avoid pain are the most wounded when something bad does happen to them. How is it that one kid can fall and skin his knee and another tears the flesh off his leg, yet the one who experienced the least pain complains and cries the most? Because one accepts and embraces pain and the other avoids and rejects it. Maybe you should put a little bit of that trust back in yourself instead of trying to trust another first.
2007-05-08 22:35:12 · answer #3 · answered by Osiris 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to do two things. The first, is to recognize you can't predict the future. There was no magic ball to tell you the man you married was going to decide after 15 years to screw around on you. It was a choice he made, and really had little or nothing to do with you.
Second, you have to learn to trust yourself. You need to look at men with not just your heart, but your head too. You can be in love, and not hang up your common sense in the hall closet and shut the door on it.
Whatever happens, make sure you built some YOU into your life. Don't give so much of yourself that you have nothing left for yourself. You don't have to be totally selfish, but you don't want to be totally selfless, either.
2007-05-08 22:29:04 · answer #4 · answered by Kaia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure, because I went through the same thing and divorced 11yrs now. But I think when someone comes along and steals our heart we will trust again. The minute we see something that our ex had done or said an alarm or red flag goes up and it's very likely you won't be giving your heart to someone like that again.
2007-05-08 22:29:24 · answer #5 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You will never get that kind of trust back it's gone never to return.What you do get is a guarded trust a up to a certain point trust in other words you will never get the full loving trust
how can you when the one person in your life you trusted betrayed you. Anybody that has been cheated on and tells you that they trust their partner completely is a liar.
2007-05-08 22:42:32 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can't go into any other form of relationship trying to completely trust because it will cause you to be blind. The most important thing is to let the person you are with kno that you have been hurt in the past and hav a guard up, but the guard isn't because of him. Let him know that it will just take time and love for him to break down that wall. If he is worth your time tahn he will understand and realize why you feel the way i do. Good Luck!!!
2007-05-08 22:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by Shayna S 1 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Yes, you can completely trust again. At first it may be difficult, but given time and the right person, trust will be there if it is right. This time you will know all of the warning signs and will be "smarter" because of the life experience.
2007-05-08 22:25:35 · answer #8 · answered by lovin life 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Don't punish other people for the transgressions of your ex...take new people at face value. Don't assume no one is trustworthy, but also don't blindy give your trust...let it be earned. Proceed with caution, but don't let your trust issues cause you to miss out on things with good potential.
2007-05-08 22:26:30 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you ever do trust completely. I think you just know when you're meant to be with somebody.
2007-05-08 22:26:47 · answer #10 · answered by Crystal D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋