how can you tell people you tired of being the gopher without losing friend?

Question

i feel like everyone in my life takes me for granted fom family to friends i am tired of it. please give me ideas to fix without just yelling at everyone.

Answer 1

You don't need to yell if you say something now before you lose it. The next time someone asks you to do something or assumes that you will do it, just tell them you're tired and you really need a break, and ask if they can handle it this time. You may be surprised by their reaction. Sometimes all you need to do is speak up for yourself, or people do tend to take you for granted.

Answer 2

Well, from my perspective... if they only think of you as a friend when you do things for them, or because of it, then guess what? You need "real" friends. In the case of family, you can't replace them per se, but you can stop acting like hired help and let them know where you stand.

Life's too short to not have positive relationships. Say your piece and move on if you have to.

-Good Luck

Answer 3

You must make yourself unavailable for whatever they are asking you to do. It will probably mean some white lies, but in this case its necessary. That way you won't have to confront anyone, just be busy when they want you to do something for them. If they are real friends, they wouldn't be using you to do their running around anyway so if they get mad because you are no longer willing to do that, then you can live without friends like that anyway.

Answer 4

Ok Red, here's how this works...If they are taking you for granted you need to speak up about it. Not yelling, but assert. NOW, if they still manage to continue the behavior they have no respect for you & are not your friend. As for family, not sure how to fix that one.

Answer 5

You've just got to tell them how you feel. How they take it is beyond your control. Apart from saying how you feel you have to stop placing yourself in situations that make you feel that way and it might mean not spending so much time with certain friends.

Answer 6

Well, it's quite simple.
No one can use you as a doormat unless you are laying down at the feet, always available.
There's a word in the Language that you might want to try out occasionally.
"No." (except with parents)
"I'd love to, but I have plans."
"Sounds great, but can I take a rain check?"
"I'd like to help, but you might want to ask someone else this time."

Answer 7

start standing up for yourself tell those people no every once in a wile. they will soon get the idea and realize that they cannot just use you at their leisure.

this worked for me that is how in know it works

Answer 8

Whatever everyone else says.And if it's starting to go out a little wrong.Cry or Get mad to show them how you feel about this.I'd just get mad.

Answer 9

Do you really want to be friends with people who treat you so thoughtlessly, who are inappreciative to others and who are so insensitive to your feelings?

Answer 10

If your friends are using you, they're not very god friends. Try telling them how you feel. you'd be supprised how understanding they can be if they trueluy are your friends.