16 and asked to be married......?

Question

My boyfriend of 5 and a half years asked me to marry him. Thing is, I am 16 and not sure if I should. He is graduating high school this year and I am a junior. I have no clue what to do and I would just like everyone opinions about this.

Started dating in 6th grade and now i am a junior, he is a senior.

Answer 1

Live together first- you never really know someone until you have lived with them . Get engaged though - just not married

Answer 2

You are too young. I was 16 when I got married and I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. We got married in a church and everything. Once I was 18 I realized that I didnt get to experience life to the fullest. I didnt get to go to my high school prom nor go to my own graduation because I was in another State working to support our daughter. He might change later on, at least my ex did. He was not a violent person but got some bad advice from other guys who were and then became just like them. Everything went downhill. I got a divorce (its expensive). Its good to be with someone that long and not be married. I'm in a 8 yr
relationship and I'm still not ready to get married even though we have 2 kids together. Think about it, its your future.

Answer 3

Im not saying its impossible to marry your first love and have it work, but if youre that young and already have close to 6 years with this boy (means you were 10 when you first met!), then you havent even done what children do to experience life or to grow up and mature during that time frame. No, its not cool to even think about being serious at that age let alone marriage. I truly hope you havent had sex yet....that would just be sad. Seems to me that since neither of you have sowed your wild oats yet or even had the chance to experience the dating thing and all that goes with it, once hes out of school and tastes the freedom that comes with graduation, its not gonna be long before youre history anyway. Sorry if that hurts, but dont be surprised if that happens. And unfortunately, if you two remain a couple, problems will begin once you both hit your early 20s cuz thats when youll realize just how much youve missed and your need to experience it will surface. The longer you wait , the harder itll be. You wanted the honest truth...there you have it.

Answer 4

It sounds as if you have reservations and you should at the wonderful age of 16 even if you have been dating him for 25 years!! If he loves you and really does want you to be his wife then he will be understanding enough to accept the answer of "Let's wait until I have, at least, finished high school." After college is an even better idea!

Marriage should NOT be entered into lightly. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders so continue to use it.

Sandy

Answer 5

I was married at the tender age of 15. It lasted nine years. He is a good guy and I am a good girl. However in the end we were bad for each other. People don't realize that marrying their high-school sweet heart could be a mistake if they rush into it. As people get older they change. You will change and so will he. At 16 what do you have to offer yourself? For you and buy you? You will be giving up college, you will be hard pressed for a career, you will have to depend on him and he will be hard pressed because he did not learn how to handle bills and responsibilities on his own before getting married. Now what will you do when 6 months after you are married and you find out you are with child. Marrying young breeds poverty. If he loves you this much now he will love you 3 years from now. This will give you both time to grow and spread your wings in life. It will also give you both a chance of getting an education and breaking the poverty cycle before it starts.
Think about your future in the long term years from now before you have an extra mouth to feed.

Answer 6

I am 17 years old and i have been married for a month now, my husband he is 20 I think that i didnt make a mistake in marrying him because i know that he loves me and i love him, although you should think about alot of things that are going to be different in your life, your not going to go out and party, your also going to have to get a job [thats if you dont have one] so you can be financially stabled because if your not stabled financially your marriage is not going to work. Those things are just some of the things that your going to have to go through if you decide on getting married. Dont care of what other people tell you just really think about it its a very big, huge step in getting married young but its also wonderful when your already are married and when you really know that you love that person and they love you right back its the best feeling that there ever is you cant even imagine.
I'm just going to say this think very well of this if you decide that you do want to get married schedule your wedding date for a couple of months , in those months you will see exactly the way he is going to be when you are married. you should also ask him questions like how much money does he have to plan your wedding? where would you guys go and live after your married? is he going to keep going to school?
are you going to keep going to school? does he make enough money to maintain a household?
those are all very important things that YOU and him have to think about. Well i wish you the best of luck on your decision and i hope you make a good one and you really think of what choice your going to make if you want you can e-mail me and ask me anything you want about your situation
best wishes to you,
Diana

Answer 7

No way. I would finish school, take a year off and go on a backpacking holiday, see a bit of the world. Then if I felt the same way when I came back, then I would marry him. If he truely loves you with all of his heart he will wait for you.
16 is way too young to make a lifetime committment.
I made that mistake....but you grow and change so much as you mature, you will probably end up outgrowing him. Wait! That is what I say, you have years ahead of you to worry about marriage. No matter how much you may love him now, You will regret your lost youth, and all the missed oppurtunities if you marry that young.

Answer 8

Why would you get married at 16? Does he want a wife who is not fully educated? You can't get a good job without a high school degree. In fact, you should go to school beyond high school...both of you...if you possibly can. When you become a mother you want your children to have a smart, educated and well-trained mama who can support them if Daddy ever leaves, right? No matter how much you love this guy, if he is worth it, he will wait until you are 18 or older. My suggestion is to wait until you are at least 20. You are going to change your mind about a lot of things in the coming years. You don't want to be divorced by 18. Tell him "not yet."

Answer 9

Please don't get married yet. You're so young, and ideas change. He needs to go to college and so do you. How are you going to pay the rent, utilities, insurance, medical, dental, car, etc. when you don't have decent jobs? How are you going to support your family? Look at the odds of young people getting married. 90% of them divorce within the first 2-3 years. You're only suppose to do this once. Get it right the first time. If he's pressuring you to get married now, tell him you want to wait until you've done at least 2 years of JC at least. Don't you want good things in your life? Talk to your parents. Have him talk to his. I know he says that this will be forever, and actually I have some friends that started dating when they were both Freshmen in high school, and 35 years later, they are still happy. It can work, but so worth waiting for. If it's fate that the two of you be together, then it will happen. If it doesn't, then Que sera, sera. (What will be, will be.) Please wait.

Answer 10

It's nice that you have a long term relationship, but at 16 your way to young, you should experience life more.

How will you support yourselves, where would you live? What happens if you get pregnant, no matter how careful you are it can happen, at 16 you should be enjoying life, not possibly changing diapers.

Do either of you know how to cook or clean. Do either of you know how to budget your money? How would your parents feel about you getting married and his parents, how do you think they would feel.

What's his rush? My cousin and her husband knew each other since the sand box, they were always together. They married in there early twenty's and now have grown children and I'm happy to say still together. If they married at your age I doubt it would have lasted.

Answer 11

You are way to young, trust me. I'm 21 and who I was when I was 16 is not who I am today. You will change a lot during the next 5-10 years. I don't even know if it's legal to get married that young, but I wouldn't advise it. I think you should stay with him and get to know him and yourself better. What's the rush anyways? He might feel that since he is graduating, he wants to have some stability in his life and something settled. There's nothing wrong with that, but I still think something as important as marriage is worth waiting for. Good luck.