Is Being Ignored 24/7 A Form Of Abuse?

Question

I know it sounds silly and nothing compared to what others are going through but in a way I feel like I am abused. I am ignored. I dont want to whine about it as I feel ashamed for even mentioning it because he doesnt hit me or call me names. I was just wondering what other people might think. He doesnt say good bye in the mornings, doesnt say good night, doesnt tell me where he's going, doesnt call when he's going to belate. We dont talk when he is home, he falls asleep five minuts after getting home or he goes outside to work on his van. All day all night. I feelHe gets up on weekends and just goes about his merry ol business. Never thinks of me in any way shape or form. I feel like a nothing. He has put my ideas down for years so now I have no confindence at all. I wanted to go to school but he said that he would not pay for it. Does this sound like abuse or am I just being a whiner? Im so sorry to complain. I dont know. If you dont mind could you please give me your honest opinion

Answer 1

it sounds like he is controlling. This is abuse in my opinion. Seek marriage counseling.

Answer 2

I really hate to throw the abuse term around but you are not living a life with this man. He is not with you either. You aren't being silly....this man pays no attention to you at all and he tries to control you by not letting you do things you want to do. Take control of your life if you don't want to divorce him. Take classes....you don't need his approval. Find other friends and get things done. I don't know how old you are or if you have young children...that can change things but you can change things. Don't let him dictate what you can or cannot do. Just go do. Don't let him decide how you are going to feel about yourself any longer. Just go out and make yourself better. He obviously has no interest in growing with you or helping so move beyond him and make sure you are a better person. He doesn't make it so....you do. If divorce is the answer, then do it. Take charge of your life again. You will feel so much better.

Answer 3

Being ignored is a form of neglect, which is a form of abuse. It is denying the other party emotional contact and stimulation. Which is fine, if you are strangers. Not fine if you are a couple. He seems to have some sort of problem in himself which is why he does this. It is not your fault he is this way, and it is not your job to fix him. He will not change until he sees it as a problem and decides to change for himself. I know you love him, but sometimes it is better to walk away for the best interest of you both. Someone who is so detached cannot be happy, and cannot make anyone else happy. Happiness, love, they are all emotions. He is emotionless. Don't keep torturing yourself over this. Wish him well and move on. I wish you peace.

Answer 4

It is Not abuse it's the way he is he cannot help it!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY????????? He is an introvert I'm an introvert and my wife left me for a coworker. We do alot of our thinking in our minds and don't like small talk. Alot of scientists doctors and dentist are introverts. He sounds like an extreme case. If you leave him without telling him or worse have another relationship waiting in the wings he could atempt suicide. I'm not joking on this about 25% of the population are introverted. You can look on line about it just Google "introvert". I'm sure he has alot of qualities that you do like. You need to go grab his hand take him where there is no kids no disractions and sit him down. Then you need to explain to him your needs and what you need to continue a relationship with him. I bet he is better at writing his feeling then expressing them so write him a love letter also and ask him to return the favor. Please do all you can do to save your marriage. Remember that only you can make you happy try working on the van with him. good luck and I hope he comes around but people do change and we either don't want to change with them or do.

Answer 5

It's not abuse.
You've been married what, I'd guess nine years? I don't know if he's concerned about something or angry at you, but you might take him a cup of tea when he's working on his van, or something. Don't try to discuss anything, just tell him you thought he might like some tea, then leave. Do that a couple times, then maybe start asking him something about the van. Don't try to talk about anything but the van. If the discussions look like they're not going well excuse yourself quietly, don't start arguing. If you continue like this I'd bet things get better; if they don't at least it was worth a shot.
I'd also recommend a copy of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". Hokey but true. Good luck.

Answer 6

Yes it is...my first husband was exactly like that and more. His hunting and bow shoots were top priority. Vacations to him was more time for hunting, etc. [5 weeks a year] . I was married to him 31 years. He took me on vacation to Florida ONCE, and that's cause he won the trip, expenses paid. Sex, huh, if I begged long enough, I might get lucky every 3 to 4 months. He had me convinced I was a nothing and could not make it on my own. Long story short, I divorced him, met someone else and I am very happily re-married and treated as an equal. Get out, get a divorce, move on. There is a better life out there for you. You deserve it.

Answer 7

It is definitely emotional abuse. At first I thought maybe he has depression since he falls asleep and doesn't want sex. But maybe he's cheating and maybe he just doesn't love you. He won't let you go to school because he doesn't want you to better yourself. That would make him feel small and I suspect he has self-esteem issues , anyway. You are not a whiner, though. You are right to want more in your life. I suggest you write your husband a letter and tell him that you want more out of life. You want regular love, sex, caring, sharing and doing things together. You also want to go to school. If he can't agree to these terms, you want a divorce. See what he does. I hope he wakes up.

Answer 8

Yes.

Completely ignoring the person you live with is a form of emotional abuse.

Putting you down, refusing to consider your wants and needs -- these are also abuse.

You need to do something about this.

Tell him the two of you either go into couple's counseling, or you are gone.

Then do it.

Seriously.

When you've lived with someone who acts as though you are worthless, it makes you feel worthless.

That's what's so wrong about treating another person that way.

You need to make things better for yourself.

You have the right.

There are people who can help.

If he refuses to get counseling with you, go yourself.

If he refuses to pay, leave.

Stay with friends or family until you can get work and a place of your own.

Answer 9

If this were happening to a child, then of course it would be considered abuse!!!!

I mean, it would still be considered abuse....but he's not forcing you to stay with him. Sounds to me like you could EASILY get out of this relationship....but you CHOOSE to stay!

In a physically abusive relationship, the victim is afraid to leave....I would think being ignored would make you feel that you could easily leave. You are there by choice....if you consider ANY of this abuse....you're doing it to yourself.

Personally, I don't think you are being abused....I just think your marriage is over.

Get out, and quit worrying about it.

Answer 10

In a way, yes, it sounds like a form of mental/emotional abuse, but you need to speak up about it. Don't be afraid of sounding like a whiner. It is your right as his wife.

Answer 11

Yes!!! You should stop saying your sorry for something you feel. I think that being in a marriage is about communicating and if neither of you are, it's not really working out. You don't need him to follow what you really want to do. Good luck.