my husband has not had sex with me in 5 months, Is this normal? He is always stressed out and helps care for out two kids. I asked him why, he says he is always to tired. I will end up divorced if this keeps up..he is always home, but do you think he is cheating or just needs help mentally?
2007-05-08 13:29:28 · 64 answers · asked by josiejo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Kids are a huge burden. Me and my husband went thru this. I don't think he's cheating, he is probably genuinely tired, and sex is the last thing on his mind. Me and my husband have a great relationship, but sex is not a priority. We have 2 very small children, and he hardly works, maybe 25 hours a week if that so it's not his job. Being in the mood is pretty hard after cleaning up poopy diapers, listening to them scream and cry all day, picking up toys, it's like you just want to enjoy them while they are sleeping. That's the only time you get to yourself. We decided to do things differently and role play, and just you know not your normal everyday sex. It helps it gives us something to look forward to. I also thought I would get divorced over this, but I'm not. He likes to play video games, and it's hard when you have the kids, so I tell him, if he gives me an hour of what I want then he can play after that. That's been a pretty fair trade for both of us. I win both ways, I get sex, and I get him out of my hair afterwords.
2007-05-08 13:37:38 · answer #1 · answered by dior.junkie 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This really is a serious problem. You need to sit this man down and talk to him. Let him know what this is doing to your marriage as far as you are concerned. Maybe you could both come up with solutions to make things better. I have 4 kids and work and know how hard it is to have the energy or the time for some good lovin, but you have to make the time. I would even suggest trying to get away for a couple of days, It doesnt even need to be far away, but just being alone and out of the house might spice things up. Heck, go to a local hotel if you have to! Good luck...
2007-05-08 14:36:26 · answer #2 · answered by londa627 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be tired or better pirotrioty in his life my husband rather exercise or play outside with the kids, or just rest since he works 7-5 5 days an week. Remember men get tired faster ans easier than women
2007-05-08 15:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, just how old are you (two)?
I am just over 700 years old and me and the ol' lady just don't get into the sex thing like we used to. Go figure?!?
Cheating? Maybe or maybe not. He could just be bored with the routine. He could have decided he likes guys better than gals. Don't understand that one but it happens.
I suggest seeking one who is qualified to assist you both in finding ways to work things out. Communication is one of the most important parts of any relationship. Learn to do this first.
BTW, if he is 'always home' it is likely that he is not cheating! Try changing your appearance, wear a wig. Buy a sexy outfit! Change your makeup, if you wear any. Etc!
Ask him what he wants sexually - no holds barred! Tell him to be honest and that you won't be mad. Don't get mad with his answer if he is being honest. Now tell him what you really want sexually and expect him not to be angry.
It takes two!
The Ol' Sasquatch Ü
2007-05-08 13:53:44 · answer #4 · answered by Ol' Sasquatch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE"S TOOO TIRED, listen to him. Perhaps you two could have a date night, that is relaxing or maybe after the kids are asleep ya'll could take a bath together.
I do have a question, have you gain any weight since pregnancy, if so he may not find you attractive, he may still love you, just not attracted to you. I don't care if I get bashed about this, but men are visual and if he married you thin and you gain weight, perhaps you may want to go back to the way it was, or it could be opposite some men like heavier women, and they lose weight, their men aren't attracted to them any more.
Have you let yourself go? from when you were first married, did you used to get dressed up and now you hang out in sweats all day caring for the youngins, he may see you as a mother and not a lover...change his view of you, get all gussied up and make mad passionate love to him. Maybe since he's so tired he may want you to initiate the sex.
It could be that he's exhausted. Let him have a day to himself with no worries, treat him like a king of the castle and jump his bones when he is well rested. (oh, let him sleep in one day...and say around 10ish if he's still asleep, come in with some nice lingerie and start doing him, make sure you have showered and cleaned up and you aren't just waking up either)
2007-05-08 13:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Stacy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, something is wrong. He is not being honest with you. No one is that tired. Go see a marriage professional together or separately. He may then speak the truth. Don't go to any extremes, not yet. Find out what is wrong. Once you find out, don't react. Take time to think about it before you make any decisions. Let your emotions cool down. Remember, things are usually not as bad as they seem and some are worse. So what? That's life. Be strong, you are worth it.
2007-05-08 13:38:13 · answer #6 · answered by Modern Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think this is normal? there could be a medical problem, He could be tired, We woman get tired looking after kids all day. But I don't think it would be okay with our husbands if we did not have relations with them for five months plus it is not Heathly phy or otherwise for your relationship....she if he will consider goes into marriage counselling. You need some help to get the the root of this problem. Plus he need to open up to you.
2007-05-08 13:44:17 · answer #7 · answered by Susieq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one knows the answer to this question except your husband and his possible mistress. Whether he is having an affair, depressed, stressed, impotent or something else, five months without sex is unacceptable to you.
Set up an appointment with a Marriage and Family Therapist. If your husband refuses to attend, set up an appointment with a lawyer...
2007-05-08 13:43:03 · answer #8 · answered by Dove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not married but I have a lot of friends who are and they have very stressful jobs and not one of them have ever had this problem...you can be tired every now and then but 5 months....sounds like there is a problem that needs to be worked out...
2007-05-08 13:38:13 · answer #9 · answered by scott 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If any of his other patterns have changed, I would say look into him cheating. If he really is just stressed and tired then work with him to figure out what you can do to help him. Talk to him, only he can give you the answers you want.
2007-05-08 13:35:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋