my hubby wants a divorce we have been married for almost 7 years i told him ok if that is what he wants. my problem is why doesn't it seem to be affecting me i mean i haven't cried or really even cared about it one way or another. is this a normal reaction. we didn't have a bad marriage we are best friends and still are we still talk about everything. we only had three arguments in the whole time we have been married . his wanting a divorce is coming from out of the blue so why am i not upsit about it. every one keeps asking me if i am ok about this and the truth is right now i am fine. has any one else felt this way
2007-05-08 13:27:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you married your best friend/room mate and not someone who you were willing to make a commitment with for the rest of your lives. Your lack of arguing could be a way of just avoiding one another. Arguing, constructively can be a good thing, a sign of growth, your both learning how to compromise. Do people argue with someone if it isn't worth thier time? Or maybe your in shock and isn't a reality to you.
2007-05-08 13:45:00 · answer #1 · answered by bobcatlady2u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the time I filed for divorce it felt like just another day. I had gone through all the emotional BS to get to that point. I suspect he has not left yet and you are still sharing your life's living conditions. If your husband has done this with his integrity intact by not having an affair or doing the gambling, drinking and abusing way out he has allowed you safety from all that horror that usually ends a marriage. If this is the case there aren't a whole bunch of people out there that can truly relate to your experience.
Some sessions with a family therapist won't hurt and may help you sort through your feelings.
2007-05-08 13:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may take some time before you realize what he is really saying. It seems as calm as you are something inside of you has either made you become emotionally detacted from all feelings right now. After being together 7 years unless you don't love him and want the divorce then it will hit you. Right now you two are still talking and maybe you feel if you stay calm he will change his mind, I have no clue because I was sad by my divorce even though I was the one who left. After reading some of your other questions I know now why this seemed to strange to be true.
2007-05-08 14:26:23 · answer #3 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that you are either in denial, shock, or you are indifferent to the situation. Maybe deep down you saw it coming so even though it has come out of the blue it hasn't really surprised you. I would suggest that the two of you talk about it though no matter how you feel about it. If there really wasn't anything that led up to it then you should find out why he feels the way that he does and why you are reacting the way that you are.
2007-05-09 22:30:28 · answer #4 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my first wife & I got a divorce after 17 yrs. it was because we didn't get along. What made it worse was we had a son. We had a bad marriage. I didn't cry either when we got our divorce, maybe she did, I don't know. If you didn't ask him why he wants a divorce, then you too must want it, and that is probably why it hasn't upset you. At least you are parting as friends. Most people don't.
2007-05-08 13:47:04 · answer #5 · answered by Joe S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it's something you actually wanted. OR maybe you're in shock, and the reality hasnt hit. Once you discover another woman in the picture, you'll probably begin to feel something......similar to rage. Nothing like someone else having your candy. ;)
2007-05-08 13:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have. I did divorce him after 21 years and 4 kids...he made me sad, his just plain lack of interest...he was a video game/internet addict, and it broke us apart.
Try to plan your life without him. Get your ducks in a row...get a bank account, credit card in your name etc...just think about living for yourself...it's not as bad as you think.
HUGS
2007-05-08 13:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by naughty lady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe friends is all you were meant to be. That sounds ideal. It is wonderful that you can be adult and end something that wasn't really a loving relationship...not that you didn't love each other, but obviously, something was missing. best of luck!
2007-05-08 13:35:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking you must feel the same way maybe that why it's really not up setting you, or it hasn't really set in yet.
2007-05-08 13:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anthill 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be when you're alone.
2007-05-08 13:34:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋